One Month Challenge: Man-Free May, Week 4

[Everyone’s got a vice, a bad habit, something they know they need to change. Unfortunately, everyone also has a million excuses why they just can’t do it. Not anymore. Every month we will be following a different CollegeCandy writer as she takes on a personal challenge. This month we’re standing behind Samantha and her quest to be man-free for 31 days.  She had a bit of a meltdown last week, so let’s see what this month has taught her.

Alright everyone. I owe you an apology. Last week’s article made no sense. Is she done? What happened? Did she mess up? Why is she crying? Just be? What does that mean?? This is really not very man-free!

True on all counts. I was under, let’s say, emotional duress while writing last week’s article. It was drama llamas all around, and there’s nothing more I hate than a drama llama. They just stand there, all high and mighty with their long necks and furry coats, staring down at you and then turning around like they’re disgusted with your actions…drama llamas, who needs em?

Anyway scratch what I said last week. Let’s talk about what happened this week!

Friday night my peer health internship was doing an event that we do twice each quarter called Snack Attack. It sounds a lot more fun than it actually is. Basically we (the interns) hand out little bags of animal crackers or pretzels to the drunken revelers in the streets around 1o PM on Friday night “to help them feel better in the morning if they choose to drink.”

Yeah, I know…

Nonetheless, you learn many things when looking at the meat market that is Friday night through sober eyes, my young grasshoppers. First of all, yes, your skirt IS TOO SHORT! And no, pulling it down every 3.5 steps DOES NOT HELP. Also, ladies, if you choose to fall at any point during your night out, please, please, do not make it in front of your college town’s uniformed finest while wearing the shortest, tightest dress and highest heels known to man. If you do, DO NOT attempt to be helped up by your drunk friend (who, in addition to her super-short dress and heels is wearing a walking boot – the kind you wear after breaking your foot!) who of course will proceed to fall ON TOP OF YOU. How you managed to not get arrested in beyond me. But I digress… Read More »


Congress Is Dunzo With Abstinance-Only Education

WTF engineer

You learn things from your teachers, parents, friends and peers that shape who you are as a person. People tell you to do this, to do that, that this is right, this is wrong, etc. But ultimately, when it comes down to it, what you do is your personal decision and you are going to do whatever you want, regardless of what other people are telling you. Right?

Right. And that’s the way it should be.

Sex is one of those things. If you want to have to sex, you’re going to have sex even if you are taught that abstinence is just, like, the best thing ever. Read More »


5 Ads That Make Me Want to Abstain

Ads-abstain

Abstinence and sex education was a hot-button issue in our recent election.  It was also a funny and ironic topic, considering the events that played out.  The Republican party was making grand speeches about abstinence-only education and the virtues of waiting until marriage (a la The Jonas Brothers) while Bristol Palin was out getting knocked up.  Hah.  Apparently she doesn’t watch Jon & Katie Plus 8 (or do any babysitting), ’cause that pretty much closes up shop downtown for me.

As long as people continue having sex before marriage, there will be people trying to stop them.  The best part about this (well, the only good part, actually) is the advertising.  Here are the Top 5 Funniest Abstinence Ads Ever. If these don’t make you want to change your sexy ways, I’m not sure what will:

I always knew deep down that engineers could never get laid, and now I know it’s true:

WTF engineer

Read More »