After undergoing a week long sex-education unit in my seventh grade health class, my creepy health teacher passed out two promise cards for us girls to sign, which stated that we promised to remain abstinent until marriage. While we were told to sign one for ourselves to keep in our purse, we were also expected to leave our John Hancock on one of the cards to turn in as an assignment – no questions asked. As my classmates complacently signed their names on the dotted lines, I remember thinking how ridiculous this task seemed – why was my stance on virginity anyone’s business? If only my feminist hero, Jessica Valenti was around then!

Feminist blogger (Feministing) and author of Full Frontal Feminism and He’s A Stud, She’s A Slut and 49 Other Double Standards Every Women Should Know, Jessica Valenti’s latest book The Purity Myth tackles the issue of “how America’s obsession with virginity is hurting young women.”

And it truly is.

Let’s get real. Regardless if you believe in saving sex for marriage or not, it is very alarming in a disparaging way to see girls only being granted value or worth for staying sexually pure instead of for their character. Why should sexuality (in the sense of remaining abstinent) be highly coveted over a teen girl’s qualities or accomplishments that make her unique? In a society that continues to worship abstinence (with virginity programs across the nation and federally funded purity balls), Valenti points out that while virginity is acceptable, having sex is also okay because at the end of the day, a young woman’s choice should not decide her existence as being morally up to standard or not.

From the get-go in The Purity Myth, Valenti confronts the definition of “virginity” and how for such an abstract idea, the concept controls and impacts girl culture today immeasurably: “The Purity Myth is for women who are suffering every day because of the lie that virginity exists, and that is has some bearing on who we are and how good we are.” Read More »

You learn things from your teachers, parents, friends and peers that shape who you are as a person. People tell you to do this, to do that, that this is right, this is wrong, etc. But ultimately, when it comes down to it, what you do is your personal decision and you are going to do whatever you want, regardless of what other people are telling you. Right?

Right. And that’s the way it should be.

Sex is one of those things. If you want to have to sex, you’re going to have sex even if you are taught that abstinence is just, like, the best thing ever. Read More »

We all know the dangers of having sex too early, but could there be a risk to having sex too late?

A new study conducted by Columbia University and the New York State Psychiatric Institute’s HIV Center for Clinical and Behavioral Studies claims “Those who lose their virginity at a later age — around 21 to 23 years of age — tend to be more likely to experience sexual dysfunction problems late.”

Even though this new study makes it seem like losing your virginity too late will cause your body to freak out, in actuality, what the numbers really show is that waiting to have sex is sometimes an indicator of preexisting bodily issues.

And to that conclusion, I say, well, of course. Read More »