Teen sex is all up in my Google Reader this week and not because the characters in Glee were getting it on.

The Centre for Disease Control and Prevention released new statistics that the U.S. teen birth rate is declining. Between 2009 and 2010 the rate dropped nine percent to a record low. It’s dropping not because less teens are having sex (it’s staying about the same), but because — surprise, surprise — because teens that are having sex have started using contraceptives.

And for all you pro-lifers out there, relax, because teens are not only having less babies, but they’re also having less abortions. Being able to prevent pregnancies means teens are less apt to put themselves in a situation where they would want an abortion.

While cross-country the teen birth rate average is dropping, the University of Georgia released a study showing the correlation to higher birth rates and abstinence-only education. Fact: when people know how to use contraceptives (and have access to them) they are no more likely to have sex, they’re just less likely to get pregnant. So can we all just agree that abstinence-only isn’t work. Please.

Sticking to the topic of teen sex, concerned parents of American can stop fretting that popular culture is hurting their children. The Associated Press and MTV combined forces to do a study on teen sexting. Survey says only one percent of kids 10 to 17 are sending racy photos of themselves (either online or via text). A similar survey done in August showed that five percent of 14 to 17 year olds had sent nude photos of themselves.

While it does get higher for older youth, it still isn’t representative of the ALL TEENS ARE SEXTING message which is often painted. Parents, what you might want to be asking yourself, is why your 10 year old needs a cellphone with a camera. Or have their own laptop. Seriously.

Maybe it was the first sign that I was destined to be a sex columnist, but all I knew at that time was that I was fascinated with sex. I was young, so I had no desire to actually have sex, but the idea of it – he puts his penis where!? – was totally intriguing to me.  Years of absorbing all the information I could – thank you Loveline and Savage Love – I became the kid all the other kids came to with their sex questions. Not that I had any actual experience at that point, but having religiously listened to various old people talk about sex, I kinda knew what I was talking about.

Being from Canada, I was lucky enough to receive comprehensive sex education from my school from grade four to grade nine… even if sometimes my teachers didn’t know completely what they were talking about (seriously, grade nine gym teacher, it’s not called the prostrate gland). It makes me sad to know that abstinence-only sex ed is being taught at most schools in the US.

Reading the comments from my article last week, it became pretty clear to me that the basics of safe sex is a blurry area for some people because they just didn’t have anyone to teach them. So, here it is ladies and gents, a basic, honest guide to safe sex. Not from some old sexual health nurse or a creepy gym teacher, but from a sex columnist who still gets some on a semi-regular basis:

Oh, and because some of you missed out on this special day in sex ed, I feel you need to see this before reading on. It’s like a rite of passage — and the video I had to watch was even worse.
Anyways, some things to remember:

Condoms – like a raincoat protects from the rain… only backwards:

• Not all condoms are the same. Think about upgrading to Magnums or Magnus XLs if they’re constantly breaking, falling off, or your partner says that they’re too tight (guarantee it’ll boost his ego, too).
• There are other alternatives for people who are sensitive to latex. Durex makes a great brand called Advanti that’s made of polyurethane and is just as safe as regular latex condoms. Hell, some people even claim they’re better than latex when it comes to letting you feel everything (I’d have to agree).
• Condoms are also very important for anal sex. You might not get pregnant, but you can sure as hell get HIV.
• Never ever ever wear two condoms at once. The friction between layers can lead to breakage. And you don’t want that.
• Sometimes they’ll fall off (if that’s the case, try upgrading to a bigger size), but remember to just stay calm.
• The condom doesn’t have to go on right before he penetrates you. Some men lose their erections when the condom arrives, so fool around for a few minutes after it’s on. It’ll take the pressure off of him, and integrating it into your foreplay will make it seem like a lot less of a chore.
• This is one of my favorite tricks, and it’s always been very well received. And look, someone wrote a tutorial on it!
• Condoms are 85-98% effective against pregnancy, and there is some debate over how effective they are at preventing STIs. But, since nothing else will protect against them, better wrap those willies.

The pill and other hormonal methods – take the pill/needle/patch and trust it’ll work:

• Unlike condoms, you have to visit a doctor to be prescribed birth control.
• Listen to your doctor. Start when he or she tells you to, and if you’re on the pill, take it around the same time every day. Hormone levels fluctuate throughout the day, so taking it at the same time insures one of those eggs won’t slip out of your ovaries.
• If taken properly, hormonal methods can be up to 99.7% effective. So make sure you follow the instructions!

Spermicides – like nazis, but for sperm… and it goes in your vag:

• Come in sponges, foams or gels and can be bought from the drug store.
• Shouldn’t be used as the sole method of birth control, and doesn’t protect against STIs.
• Read the instructions. Some spermicides can interact badly with condoms, leading to breakage. And again, we don’t want that.

Pulling out – messy fun times:

• New studies have found that pulling out is almost as effective as condoms when it comes to preventing pregnancy. Partake at your own risk.
• Will not protect against STIs, so this is only really an option for monogamous, tested couples.
• Can actually be kinda fun, in that it’s messy and just a little bit kinky.

Condoms, with a back-up plan – the “a lot-people-actually-do-this” taboo:

• Going condomless is tempting, but should only be considered with a long-term partner.
• Before ditching the “domers”, both partners should get tested and have a full-disclosure policy about their sexual pasts.
• Ladies: if you miss a pill, or somehow make a mistake with your contraception, tell your partner. He has a right to know if there’s a heightened risk of pregnancy in your future.

Sex doesn’t have to lead to diseases and pregnancy. The most important part of safe sex is to assess the risks and benefits and decide what’s right for your situation. Make smart, responsible, and informed choices — and have fun!

[For anyone who’s super curious, this site lists the failure rate for all common contraceptives. It’s good info to know.]

Feminist blogger (Feministing) and author of Full Frontal Feminism and He’s A Stud, She’s A Slut and 49 Other Double Standards Every Women Should Know, Jessica Valenti’s latest book The Purity Myth tackles the issue of “how America’s obsession with virginity is hurting young women.”

And it truly is.

Let’s get real. Regardless if you believe in saving sex for marriage or not, it is very alarming in a disparaging way to see girls only being granted value or worth for staying sexually pure instead of for their character. Why should sexuality (in the sense of remaining abstinent) be highly coveted over a teen girl’s qualities or accomplishments that make her unique? In a society that continues to worship abstinence (with virginity programs across the nation and federally funded purity balls), Valenti points out that while virginity is acceptable, having sex is also okay because at the end of the day, a young woman’s choice should not decide her existence as being morally up to standard or not.

From the get-go in The Purity Myth, Valenti confronts the definition of “virginity” and how for such an abstract idea, the concept controls and impacts girl culture today immeasurably: “The Purity Myth is for women who are suffering every day because of the lie that virginity exists, and that is has some bearing on who we are and how good we are.”

By exploring different aspects that impact and damage the concepts of sexuality and purity for young women, Valenti shows that issues such as pornography, abstinence-only education, and the obsession with keeping young girls ‘innocent’ are relative to girl culture and the development of young women having healthy sexual perspectives. For example, when the messages of pop culture tell girls they need to be sexy and desirable, Valenti points out that those images often exhibited do not correlate with the lessons girls are getting from programs that promote abstinence-only education. In The Purity Myth, Valenti shows that the Madonna/whore dichotomy is never-ending, all at the expense of young women.

While I believe that abstinence is a personal decision both men and women need to make, I do believe that America’s expectations of how women should be pure is ultimately hurting girl-culture. I see guys in college hooking-up without ever thinking for a second about the consequences that come from their choices, but I see girls struggling with the role of being a good girl vs. the fraternity ‘slut’, constantly. Girls in high school battle with the idea of losing their virginity to their high school sweetheart, while the majority of guys just look out to make sure they aren’t the last of their friends to cash in their v-card. Why is sexuality an ongoing struggle for young women, but not their male peers?

Although America’s obsession with sexuality continues to grow and hurt young girls, it doesn’t seem to touch masculinity in the way that it does femininity. Remember the anecdote about how the girls in my health class had to sign promise cards to remain pure till marriage? The boys in my 7^th grade class did not have to sign them. How is it acceptable or even fair to ask girls to remain pure while not asking the same of boys?

With The Purity Myth fighting to give young women value and worth beyond their sexual experience and the importance that society puts upon whether or not their hymen is intact, Valenti really hits the bottom line by showing that value does exist within young women and it’s time to start progressively moving forward to celebrate young girls and the characteristics that make them important, instead of focusing on sexuality which only seems to hold women back.

The Purity Myth is a must-read because it will not only change the way young women understand the sexualization put upon them, but it will also it will help all of us proactively empower ourselves in terms of our own sexuality.

You learn things from your teachers, parents, friends and peers that shape who you are as a person. People tell you to do this, to do that, that this is right, this is wrong, etc. But ultimately, when it comes down to it, what you do is your personal decision and you are going to do whatever you want, regardless of what other people are telling you. Right?

Right. And that’s the way it should be.

Sex is one of those things. If you want to have to sex, you’re going to have sex even if you are taught that abstinence is just, like, the best thing ever.

That’s why it only makes sense that federal funding for abstinence-only education was cut from the budget in the House subcommittee. The study ordered by Congress from two years ago proving that “students who participated in sexual abstinence programs were just as likely to have sex as those who did not” has FINALLY been acknowledged and acted upon. Seriously, its about time.

We could have saved over a billion dollars if we had realized this before Bristol Palin got knocked up and started telling the world how terrible being a teen mother is, but what’s done is done. At least she’s helping to populate Alaska. Let’s just be happy that the decision has been made and kids in many parts of this country will not be exposed to “Keep it in your pants” lectures. Instead, these current funds once devoted to abstinence-only programs will be directed to “a new teenage pregnancy prevention initiative, with an emphasis on comprehensive sex education.” (Editor’s Note: Just show those kids an episode of 16 and Pregnant. That’ll teach them to wrap it up.)

But despite the vote on Capital Hill, some people still need a little convincing. Leslee Unruh, President of the National Abstinence Clearinghouse (sounds like a really fun place), is not so happy about the cuts. “We’ve got news for the condom worshippers, abstinence education is not going away any time soon. Taxpayers will not tolerate their money being used for ideological latex-only programs and the molestation of their children’s minds and future.”

Wow, looks like someone needs to get laid.

A new study conducted by Columbia University and the New York State Psychiatric Institute’s HIV Center for Clinical and Behavioral Studies claims “Those who lose their virginity at a later age — around 21 to 23 years of age — tend to be more likely to experience sexual dysfunction problems late.”

Even though this new study makes it seem like losing your virginity too late will cause your body to freak out, in actuality, what the numbers really show is that waiting to have sex is sometimes an indicator of preexisting bodily issues.

And to that conclusion, I say, well, of course.

“[M]en with sexual problems may avoid sexual interactions and consequently start later” the study finds, going on to explain that those who get married later without much sexual experience tend to have a difficult time with arousal and reaching orgasm.

“Fear of intimacy, body image problems, alcohol and drug abuse” and shame connected to sexual acts are also issues that come attached to delayed sexual activity, yet many experts examining this particular study believe psychological trauma is the cause of sexual dysfunction, and delayed sexual activity is merely a symptom of such dysfunction.

So basically, having sex later in life may be linked to sexual issues, but those issues were most likely with you way before you jumped into the sack.

Is this common sense to anyone else? The only thing this new study (appearing in the January 2008 issue of the American Journal of Public Health) seems to prove that Abstinence Only programs are probably one-way ticket to confusion later on in life. As ABC News reports, when normal sexual experimentation is “inhibited or not guided, there can be poor sexual health outcomes.”

Risqué headlines aside, it looks like all we got is another study that wants us to embrace safe sex.

So go out and make science proud!