Hello down there!

You and me, we’ve had a pretty good run so far. I don’t think I thank you often enough, but you’ve been very good to me over the years. You’ve muscled through innumerable yeast infections. You’ve fought off bouts of HPV — twice — and came up clean both times. You tolerated a biopsy for cervical cancer without anesthesia when I was too young and dumb to realize I ought to go to a specialist for something like that.

I know that sometimes — okay, way too many times — I wasn’t nearly as good to you. I’ve introduced you to more partners than you probably would have cared to meet on your own. And some of them were really, really bad. But you put up with it anyway. Read More »

The smell of tequila across the table from me at the restaurant is still engraved into my olfactory memory this morning. Tequila was one of my first liquor loves.

Of course when I was under age and drinking whatever was free to me, I hadn’t the slightest clue of what I actually PREFERRED to drink. However, when I moved to NYC and started to call the shots–literally–tequila was my choice drink.

But just as the rumor has it…tequila can often times lead to trouble. And after finding myself neck deep in a puke-filled toilet’s worth of trouble over and over again with tequila…I finally stopped drinking the stuff.

But last night, it’s stench made me shiver. After all these consecutive days of not drinking…what would have been a more appropriate drink to break my cycle than that instigating drink of the devil; that paradoxical beverage of poison and paradise…?

I stopped myself and munched on my spring rolls. Deep fried anything should, in my opinion, replace alcohol in a diet. (Side note: Can you deep fry a jello shot?) Read More »

While so many parents out there seem to be overwhelmingly concerned with keeping their teens’ Myspace pages private and making sure their Walmart-bought CD’s are equipped with “Parental Advisory” stickers; their teens are still getting into trouble.

We know this because we were teens not too long ago. The more you are protected by your parents, the sneakier you learn to be. It’s no accident that some of the worst kids you knew in high school came from some of the “best” families. Teen girls rebelling is about as natural as shopping or gossiping. If all of their parents only knew what they were doing at all those “sleepovers”….

Well, what it seems like they’ve been DOING…are the boys from school.

At least one in four girls out there between the ages of 14-19 has a sexually transmitted disease. This alarming study has brought a lot of attention to the fact that teens ARE, regardless of what we want to believe, having sex. Read More »

• Guys are no longer allowed to tell me women are the only ones with body issues. (Hindustantimes.com)

• Ugh, if I see Brit’s vag one more time I think I’m going to have to call her my girlfriend. (Co Ed Magazine)

• Informal Poll: What’s worse? Setting your penis on fire or getting boiling water poured all over it by a vengeful, angry woman? (NBC Jacksonville)

• This is why you ALWAYS save your reciept. (BBSpot.com)

• There are all sorts of jokes I could make about the words sex, wet, abstinence, Catholicism, and even just the irony of this entire article…but I’m still confused about why there are still girls in their 20′s who are waiting for marriage. Did Engaged and Underage teach us nothing? (Pennlive.com)