While I love my boyfriend Matt to death, there comes a time (OK, many times) when he drive me insane. Sometimes all of the little annoying habits he has make either want to barf or slap him upside the head. I’m sure some of you will think “That’s terrible! I would never be grossed out by or want to hurt my boyfriend!” But I’d put money down on the table right now that most of you feel my pain and are sitting there right now thinking, “OMG, sometimes my boyfriend annoys the crap out of me.”

For instance, let’s just take the fact that men, by nature, are gross. Matt is no exception (obviously). While yes, it’s appreciated that he showers regularly and brushes his teeth, it still grosses me out to no end when he wakes up in the morning and immediately starts hacking and coughing up God knows what. I know that people have to take care of some phlegm in the morning on occasion, but this is every. single. morning. And it’s not one cough either – it’s several loud and, from the sound of it, very productive hacks. Trust me, it’s not what you want to hear at 6 a.m. when you’re trying desperately to get a few more precious minutes of sleep.

Then there’s the failed attempts at humor. While Matt has a great sense of wit and is usually really dang funny, he’s got one flaw in the comedy department: accents and impersonations. That really wouldn’t be a big deal if it weren’t for the fact that he tries to do them just about every time we’re with people. As a former theater major, bad accents get to me. I did a year of Irish dialect training, so when he tries his hand at an Irish brogue, it’s not only totally unfunny, but it has the same effect on me that nails on the chalkboard have one the rest of society. And our friends have noticed as well.

Before you go off thinking I’m a total witch with a capital B, please know that I’ve talked to Matt about it. While it was hard news to take, he did promise to try to cut back on the bad impersonations and has made huge strides in the hacking department. (Literally – he runs into the bathroom.) He is human and slips up sometimes, but I’m learning to not let stuff like that get to me, and in no way does it make me love him less. I also know that there are things that I do that annoy the heck out of him, so we both try to be understanding when the other slips up.

In a way it’s kind of nice to have a boyfriend with tiny flaws, because, well, it’s a whole lot better than someone with giant flaws. And at the end of the day, wanting to kick my boyfriend for attempting to pull phlegm up from his chest isn’t a bad thing – it’s normal. Even the happiest couple in the world wants to smack each other once in awhile.

So, what does your BF do that makes you want to scream?

Have no fear my decorating minions, get your hot glue guns ready and lets get crafty!

Let’s Make… Picture frames! Posters are so…mainstream. Everyone has them. Why not hang your own pictures in personalized frames?

 This is an easy craft. You can find ready-made frames for cheap at any dollar store, walmart, or craft store. All you need to do is decorate with fabric, sequins, or little plastic accents…things you can again find at walmart or a craft store. Just apply them with your hot glue gun…and there you have it!

Let’s Make… Beaded curtains!  This project will take a little more time to finish, but it allows your mind to go to a zen-like place while you do it.

You will need: Beads! Fishing line and a tension curtain rod.

First measure your door frame and decide how thick you want your curtain to be. Thicker curtains call for more beads. Cut your fishing line to fit, and then start stringing your beads (this part takes awhile).

Once you’re done stringing all your beads,  apply them to the rod and hang. Put a dab of hot glue over the part where the beads are tied over the rod to keep the steady. There you have it!

Let’s Make… A bulletin board! Tired of all that random paper that you acquire but are to pack-raty to throw out? Make a bulletin board! You can do one of two things for this: buy a pre-made board and just paint the frame, attach some beads, or glue fabric to the edge with your hot glue gun — or, you can cover a piece of plywood with fabric (hot glue the fabric down) then crisscross ribbon over the fabric to stick notes and pictures inside.

The most important thing is to have fun doing these projects!  College can be stressful, crafting shouldn’t be.

[Crafty photo from craftzine.com]

I set myself up on a blind date with a beautiful, foreign, twenty-something man last weekend after meeting him at a bar. And by meeting, I mean, chatting for two seconds while waiting for friends, leaving, then going back into the bar to pull a stunt I had abandoned since freshman year of college. I was a few drinks into my evening, and he had been amiable during our little chat before…

“I’m really sorry, I never do this–” (blatant lie… it’s just been awhile) “–but I’d really like to see you again. Could I get your number?”

Why, yes, he said, I could. High five, self! Confidence, boosted.

We ultimately decided to meet for drinks the following weekend. Why did it have to be that weekend? Oh, because of course he was MOVING TO EUROPE the following week. The night I met him had been his going away party.

Naturally, the first date I’ve been on in months would have no potential to go anywhere. But he was hot, and I thoroughly enjoyed that accent. This was a pressure-free situation, and he showed up in a suit. Screw Europe. Europe had nothing on my evening out with this guy.

Things were great… and then came a random man who approached and started chatting Date up, gesturing to me and asking, “That your girlfriend?”

Awkward.

Date smiled and shook his head. I opted to finish my drink. “Unfortunately, no,” he said with his adorable accent. Date Crasher was intrigued.

“Where you from?” he asked. Date answered this along with a barrage of questions from Date Crasher about racism in his homeland as opposed to the U.S.

So romantic. Exactly the sort of conversation you hope for on a first date.

We exchanged several glances. We were both too nice to say anything, then somehow got the conversation back to ourselves. The bartender noticed our problem and offered us shots.

Date Crasher subsided for a few moments, then returned when Date and I mentioned Los Angeles. He jumped back in and said that LA had “the most beautiful women.”

“I don’t think the beautiful women are what make a city for her,” Date said to the Crasher.

Crasher then looked me up and down. I shuddered. “You’re attractive. Do you think you’re pretty? Be honest.”

Uncomfortable doesn’t begin to describe it. He would not let it go. Date was looking at me. Panic. How do I handle this…?

“Um… I guess I’m a cute girl?” A cute girl who sounds either cocky or confident and WHY was this guy not leaving us alone? How do you answer that question?!

It only got better when he asked me to rate myself on a scale of one to ten. I sincerely thought he was joking, but he wouldn’t let it go. Finally I mumbled something about a 7 and wanted to crawl under the bar and die. “I disagree,” Date Crasher yelled.

Oh, G-d. What was he going to say? Kill me now…

“You’re a 10. She’s a 10, bro.”

I awkwardly laughed and finished my next drink. The bartender was ready with another round of shots. Date and I took them, maybe a little too eagerly.

The awkwardness was only alleviated after Date rated me an 11 and asked for the check. Date Crasher left and we laughed, and I shortly thereafter discovered that Date was a pretty phenomenal kisser.

A couple hours and drinks later, I confirmed that Date was actually moving, because his apartment was full of boxes. I noticed the next morning that he also had most of his clothing packed. Yes, I am a classy broad, but seriously…the accent did me in. No regrets.

Until, of course, I tried to pull myself together and find my way home, post-hook-up hair and all…

[As All Good Stories End, To Be Continued...]