A bachelor’s degree is a funny thing. Depending on your major, it’s either the equivalent of an extremely pricey receipt with a huge FINAL SALE stamp on it, sending you off to continue your studies, or it sends you to work. In either situation, the joys of the undergraduate lifestyle are mourned on almost a daily basis.

No more are the nights of frat parties and pregaming at seven A.M. for football games. The real world isn’t all bad, don’t get me wrong, but before you make that giant leap to becoming a legitimate person, take the time to consider what lies ahead.

1.) The phrase “I need” has likely lost its charm with your parents. Unless it’s food or some sort of medical emergency, they know damn well you’ll spend any extra money to supplement your happy hour four work nights a week. They also know you’re making money, and therefore, shouldn’t spend it if you don’t have it. This is never not depressing. You can only fake having to go to the doctor so many times before they realize you’re on your own insurance, and sadly, cute little dresses no longer qualify as “emergency” spending.

2.) Speaking of insurance, with a new job you typically qualify for life insurance. And who profits from your untimely death? Ironically enough, most likely, your parents. What a horrible juxtaposition of feelings, lamenting that you’re both too old and too young, and knowing that maybe after you’re gone, your parents will finally be able take that cruise around the Greek Isles.

3.) There’s no crying in the office. If you’re not happy with a class, you can drop it. If you’re not happy with your new hometown, you’re stuck until your lease is up and you find a new job. To build a resume will take you over six months with one employer, and actually, a year will give you more street cred…that is, actual credibility. Your happiness is much more in your hands here. Before you move, make sure you have a base of acquaintances or contacts to call on the off chance your coworkers aren’t as fun as you’d hoped.

4.) Holy sh*t. Bills are expensive. See “I need” statement above.

5.) Under no circumstances can you wear sweatpants in the office. Being tired or lazy doesn’t matter, and if you gained a few pounds, too damn bad. T here are no special privileges for being a chubscout.

However, the leggings/tights trend has made it much easier to go to work, be comfortable, and not show off that you’re suffering from one-size-too-small syndrome, but usually only if you’re in media or a relatively laid-back company. Bankers, traders, other suit-donning professionals, I extend my sympathies as I reach for another cookie.

6.) Credit cards…dear God, be careful. That little piece of plastic can make you sadder than you’ve ever known. I’ve seen it. Establishing credit is important, but do you really need to do that at Neiman’s, Bloomie’s, and Saks?

Pick a couple of your favorite retail haunts, then try for a major CC. Again, BE CAREFUL. It’s not free money. Interest is a bitch. Spend only what you know you can pay off. Set up a budget, whatever—just don’t consider this your ticket to a long weekend in South Beach whenever you feel like it.

You will cry once you realize what you’ve spent and that it’s your own fault. Mom and Dad will likely consider killing you and still be mad, because now your life insurance money will only pay off your debt.

While the transition’s not easy, it does get better. Accept the fact that just like getting that degree, it takes time, effort, and every so often, a round of cocktails…or several.

Just be careful with those work nights out!

As you push your cart up and down the aisles of Wal-Mart and Target stocking up on the necessities, your bank account is slowly draining (unless your parents plan on footing the entire bill-in which case you can stop reading now).

The money you’ve saved up at your menial summer job may be non-existent by the time you hit the mall to pick up some new kicks and a few back to school outfits.

So what happens when you land on campus broke as a joke in need of food and fun? You begin the job hunt.

As a seasoned veteran of the work study program, I would not recommend this line of work. My freshman year was spent slaving away between classes in an office with no windows. Fetching sandwiches for a hostile man whose job it was to make photocopies for 7 dollars an hour wasn’t my idea of a worthwhile part-time job.

When I ventured out to find legitimate employment during my sophomore year, I applied to every store, restaurant, and office within a 20 block radius of my school.

To be blunt, I went crazy, spreading my resume like wildfire to anyone who would take it. You would think my phone would have been ringing off the hook.

Well, think again. Turns out thousands of kids from my school and surrounding colleges were applying for those very same jobs. I didn’t receive so much as one call back for at least a month.

Eventually, I got a call from a restaurant less than a block away from my school. I wound up with a well-paying convenient part-time job. More importantly, I walked away from the situation with a better understanding on how to land a job in a competitive environment. I pass these tips on to you, our loyal readers:

1. ALWAYS have a copy of your resume with you- Nine times out of ten a manager will request a copy of your resume when you apply for a job. Don’t let them down. You’ll look silly and unprepared, qualities that are not highly valued by management.

2. Dress the part- Even if you’re applying to the crappiest hot dog stand, show up in a respectable outfit and you’re a hundred percent more likely to land the gig. Never, under ANY circumstances, wear jeans. Many establishments will politely take your resume and shred it to pieces the second you’re out the door if you look unprofessional.

3. Be Confident- Look the interviewer in the eye when you speak. Don’t be afraid to talk about your achievements and useful qualities. Remember, many others will be applying for this very same job. You need to sell yourself and convince the company that you are the best person for the job.

4. Be Available- Most part-time jobs will need you on nights and weekends. Obviously, it sucks working on Friday and Saturday night. However, most restaurants (or stores!) won’t hire you if you aren’t willing to make this sacrifice. If you’re desperate to salvage your weekends, request every other weekend off, or ask to only work on one weekend day.

5. Network- Sometimes the easiest way to get a job is through a friend. Ask around- someone you know is bound to be employed at a place that is looking for help. With their recommendation, you may have a simple “in” at the company.

A part time job can (surprisingly) be a key part of your college experience. As you’re required to spend time with your co-workers, a job offers you the opportunity to make new friends. You will always have extra spending money to buy that new shirt you REALLY want or to go out on the nights you’re available. It’s not all fun and games- but it beats sitting home because you’re penniless or grubbing money from your aggravated friends.