Remember that time you fell in love with that baby-faced Canadian kid who got his start on Youtube, that shy vampire actor with the British accent, or that awkward-yet-charming guy from Arrested Development and then everyone else fell in love with them and talked about them every day and they were everywhere you looked and you secretly started praying for their demise?

The celebrity rise from a nobody to an overrated celeb happens so quickly these days that it’s hard to keep track of who you love and who you hate. Thankfully for you, we’ve created (with a little inspiration from Guyism’s 66 Most Overrated Women of 2010) the ultimate list of the 30 most overrated guys in Hollywood right now. In no specific order…

[Click on the pic to get even more of their overrated-ness.]

1. Ed Westwick

In short, this guy has worn one too many fedoras and ascots for me to take him seriously as sexy or even remotely heterosexual. And that weird “I’m trying not to fart” look he always seems to have on his face certainly doesn’t help matters.

2. Orlando Bloom

I never really understood this craze. All I see is a guy with a goatee and long black curls who happened to play the supporting roles of a pirate and an elf in some hit movies. I just don’t get it.

3. Ryan Reynolds

Don’t get me wrong, he’s definitely hot but definitely not hot enough to be married to Scarlett Johansson. And, really, eventually this piece of white bread is gonna rom-com out and then he’ll just be the guy who was in The Proposal with Sandra Bullock.

4. A-Rod

Someone remind me why two of Hollywood’s most gorgeous stars (Cameron Diaz + Kate Hudson) are fighting over this guy? I mean I know he’s a Yankee but other than that, from the sheer looks of him… there must be something I’m missing here. Plus, HE’S RECENTLY BEEN INSIDE OF A WOMAN WHO’S THE SAME AGE AS MY MOTHER. Somehow, that’s just hard for me to overlook.

5. Ken Jeong

Where did this guy come from (besides out of the back of a classic Mercedes, naked)? Sure, he’s funny when other people are writing his lines in The Hangover and on Community, but does he really deserve to share a stage with Ed Helms? Short answer: hell f**king no.

6. Matthew McConaughey

There’s a reason why Chelsea Handler calls this guy “Matthew McCona-gay.” The guy peaked in The Wedding Planner, a movie co-starring J-Lo, and it’s been all downhill from there. We’re all sick of him. He should just do us all a favor: put on a shirt, take a shower and get over himself already.

7. Adrian Grenier

Is it just me or is it hard to take this guy’s supposed sex appeal in Entourage seriously when you know he once starred beside Melissa Joan Hart in that teen film Drive me Crazy?

8. Mario Lopez

Alright, alright I’ll admit it. He has an absolutely insane body but behind those washboard abs and boyish dimples all I see is Slater from Saved By the Bell sitting backwards in a chair in an obscenely psychedelic collared shirt and curly mullet. You can’t fool me, Lopez.

9. Josh Hartnett

I still remember when that whole Hartnett phase was running rampant during his Black Hawk Down days. However, I think pictures like this – along with my dreaded fear that his eyebrows would someday fully connect -stood in the way of me ever fully being on board with the Hartnett love-fest.

10. Ryan Seacrest

Although not altogether bad looking facially, something about a guy needing to wear high heels in order to look even moderately average in height next to me just doesn’t seem to cut it in my book. Definitely not worth his $45 million deal with American Idol.

11. Conan O’Brien

Did you watch Conan on The Tonight Show before NBC canned him? Probably not, hence the reason he got the boot. His ratings were crap and for good reason: his show just wasn’t that good. The guy is funny, yes, but he’d never be getting the international love or giant TBS paycheck if he weren’t involved in the late night scandal of the century.

12. Colin Farrell

From bad boy to boring in record time.  All those illegitimate children and baby mamas killed whatever mojo he had working. Though I’m still trying to figure out what that mojo was.

13. Russell Brand

Bringing us back to a time when teased hair, heavy eyeliner, and open shirts were the height of sophistication, why do we love this guy so much? He should be doing photos for rehab pamphlets, not Katy Perry.  Thumbs down for this quirky Brit.

14. Jonathan Rhys Meyers

Yes, all the nekkid time he gets on The Tudors is more than a little enjoyable, but his performance in Match Point was way too convincing for me.  Why would you be attracted to someone with those crazy eyes?  WHY?

15. Chace Crawford

Aw, isn’t she precious?  If you like your men coiffed, tweezed, rouged, and lip glossed, Chace is your [wo]man. Come on, he should be starring in an episode of Toddlers & Tiaras, not as the Upper East Side’s premier hottie in Gossip Girl.

16. Justin Bieber

I’ve found the cure for Bieber Fever.  It’s called puberty.  Time we all move on to someone old enough to vote.

17. Patrick Dempsey

Ladies, admit it to yourselves: McDreamy is getting McOld (and not in a George Clooney way).  Sure, he was hot in the first season of Grey’s Anatomy.  We were amazed at how he transformed from his awkward ’80s movie phase, how he got his hair under control and put on a little (just a little) muscle.  Now, in 2010, I feel like we’ve seen all the tricks up this doctor’s sleeves.

18. Johnny Depp

How this guy keeps winning People’s “Sexiest Man Alive” I’ll never know. He wears more flannel than I did in 1994 and it seems like it’s been that long since he last stepped foot in a shower.

19. Robert Pattinson

Because a rat’s nest on your head and rumors of body odor are totally sexy.  Not.  I really don’t understand the worldwide fascination with this dude.  What do you see here that’s so appealing?  His face isn’t even symmetrical!

20. Taylor Lautner

Another gorgeous bod, but have you ever heard this guy open his mouth? No? That’s a good thing. There’s just not much goin’ on in there.  He just kind of smiles and stands there while his muscles bulge out of his shirt. Yawn.

21. The Situation

Seriously?  He doesn’t even have a real name. The Situation.  He sounds like Bono or Prince…except totally talentless and worse for the future of our planet than an epic BP oil leak.

22. Michael Cera

He was great in Juno.  And Juno 2.  And Juno 3.  Oh wait, those were different movies?  I want to see this kid doing SWAT team psycho-thrillers or the A-Team 2, then maybe I’ll pay attention again.

23. Zac Efron

He has a knack for dribbling to the beat of a show tune, but Zac’s High School Musical Days are over. And let’s be honest: the only good thing going for him was his pretty blonde hair. Too bad J. Bieber’s got the same do. Ciao, Efron.

24. The Jonas Brothers

Why were they famous in the first place? Just ’cause young Nick Jonas could sing and the other two decided to tag along in tight pants and skinny ties? Much like gyrating 10-year-olds and the phenomenon that is grown men “moving their hips like this,” I blame Miley for this one.

25. Brad Pitt

Brad Pitt used to be a sexy piece of man meat before he cheated on the sweet Jennifer Aniston with homewrecker, Angelina Jolie. Now he just looks like that smelly guy you avoid at Bonaroo.

26. Kellan Lutz

Hot body: check. Uh…erm….what else does this guy have to offer?

27. Ashton Kutcher

So he married a (hot) old lady. Snore. I miss the days when he was making Justin Timberlake cry.

28. Justin Timberlake

He’s the most successful former member of N’SYNC and does the funniest SNL appearances. Which is like saying Lauren Conrad is the smartest girl on The Hills and Kelly Bensimon is the craziest member of The Real Housewives – really, not saying much.

29. Adam Lambert

A weird hybrid of Elton John and Pete Wentz, I just can’t get behind a guy who uses more nail polish, eyeliner and hair product than me. No matter how big his tongue is.

30. Jay-Z

The guy talks. About how rich he is. With music playing in the background. Is that what makes a legendary rap star these days?

I’ve been seeing this guy on and off for the past eight years.  He’s completely perfect- sure, he might be a little short and has been known to show his sassy side on occasion, but he’s really great when it comes to the life chats.  He’s got 1-800-Flowers on speed dial, keeps the champagne flowing, and always sets the mood with a million little candles all over his huge mansion.  We go on overnight dates to exotic locations, spend the day picnicking on the beach…and on top of all this, he’s totally not afraid to meet the parents.

What’s the problem, you ask?  Guys, I think Chris Harrison’s married!

Tonight rings in another season of The Bachelorette and, in a completely new move, it promises to be the Most Dramatic Season Ever.  Ali Fedotowsky, 25, is returning after she ditched (and then got ditched by) country boy and future wife beater, Jake Pavelka, last season.  Wait, am I the only one who sensed a whole bunch of repressed anger under that all-American veneer?  Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Vienna.

Anyway, fan favorite Ali will be selecting from 25 wish-they-were-hotter men.  A quick peek over at ABC.com revels that the casting directors had an interesting sense of humor this time around.  In seasons past, I found myself looking at the contestants asking, “How the hell is he single?”  Let me tell you, I know exactly why this season’s boys are still on the market.  From knobby necks to Adam Lambert look-alikes, the pickings are indeed slim.

Thankfully for you, I have gone over Ali’s pool of contestants with a skilled veteran’s eye and a healthy dose of cutthroat judgment.  I present to you the three best candidates for a shot at love and the three horrors that need to go back to the rocks from under which they came:

The Best

Jesse

Why they would work:
Cue the collective “Awwww”.  He’s a simple guy.  His greatest achievement?  Buying a truck.  Best attribute?  His good work ethic.  The Midwestern, guy next-door stereotype is personified in our friend Jesse.  Don’t you just want to take a hayride and tip some cows with this kid?

The catch:
He’s a year younger than Ali, which might give her a moment’s pause, but I think ultimately she’ll be all right with it.  The real trouble might arise when they run out of things to talk about.  It could be the recipe for a major crash-and-burn.  Yet again, Renée Zellweger and Harry Connick Jr. successfully played out a similar scenario in New In Town.  Perhaps life will imitate art B-List romantic comedies.

Chris L.

Why they would work:
First off, they’re both from Massachusetts.  On a dating game show, having even the smallest thing in common promotes early bonding.  Beyond that, look at him- the guy is totally laid back.  From the periodic table of elements on his t-shirt to his typical Saturday night activity (spending it at the bar with his friends), he’s not some over-coiffed pretty-boy.  Compared to the rest of the pastel shirt wearing, would-be hair models, he seems pretty…normal.

The catch:
He has a hint of Neanderthal forehead.

Chris H.

Why they would work:
Come on, now he’s pretty cute.  If you picture him not in a shiny lavender button down.  Seriously though- he’s 27, has a decent job, plays hockey, enjoys historical and cultural adventures.  What’s not to like?  Did I mention he’s probably the best looking on here?  If Ali has eyes, she’ll keep this guy around.

The catch:

He’s from Canada; she’s living in California.  Pragmatic Ali might see this as an insurmountable roadblock and send him prematurely packing.

Honorable Mention:

Jay.

He’s a lawyer with a dorky past and a skinny neck.  He golfs and skis and finds Donald Trump’s books “interesting and inspirational”.  Basically, mothers will love him.

The Worst (Do I really have to limit myself to three?)

Hunter

Stating the obvious:
He looks like the Snuggle Bear.  As in Snuggle fabric softener.  This guy needs to be put out of his misery, ASAP.

John N. aka The Glambert

Stating the obvious:
Before he gets the boot, maybe he can share with Ali where he gets his eyebrows done.  They really are a work of art.

Justin the “Entertainment Wrestler”

Stating the obvious:
When asked what he would bring to a desert island, he said hair gel.  Need I elaborate?

Tonight as you hunker down for two hours of cheesy pick-up lines and desperately bad jokes, be sure to take notes and get ready to share.  We’ll be tracking the Ali’s ups and downs each week, so sound off in the comments!

I don’t know about you, but I’d like to know what sort of place has to remind people that BJs are not accepted. No pictures? Fine. No smoking? I get it.

But oral sex?

This must be an Adam Lambert concert.

For most of us, 2009 was probably not the best year – the economy was still in the toilet, we were fighting two wars, Michael Jackson (and Patrick Swayze!) died, and we couldn’t play beer pong out of fear we were going to get the Swine Flu.

But all that didn’t really matter to those peeps out in Hollywood, because somehow, despite all the odds, some people still managed to come out on top and have a freaking awesome year.

Let’s take a look at who had the best 2009:

Taylor Swift
There is no question that our favorite country cutie had the best year EVER. She won two Academy of Country Music Awards, six American Music Awards, seven Billboard Music Awards, six Country Music Association awards…and that’s just scratching the surface.  She managed to make an album that sounds like it came out of her high school diary (and probably did) into one of the top albums of the year, and she even dethroned popular King Kanye when he tried to discredit her VMA and turned the entire country against him. AND, on top of all that, she gets to run her hands over Taylor Lautner’s abs, making her the envy of every teenage girl alive. And yet they don’t hate her. Congrats, T.Swift, you’ve officially taken over the world.

Taylor Lautner/Twilight Cast
The entire cast of New Moon had a pretty amazing year. I mean, how many people can say that teenage girls faint when they walk by?  Their movie was a national sensation rivaled only by its prequel, making $26.3 million its first night and setting box office records as the biggest midnight release ever. Somehow a moody emo girl with bad posture and really boring clothes and her equally emo sparkly vampire boyfriend, who loves her so much he just had to ditch her to offer himself up to some even creepier vampires in Italy, became the poster couple for America.  But while Edward may have won Bella at the end, it’s Taylor Lautner who really came out on top.  This year he emerged from long-haired, nice-guy obscurity to become the muscled, hot-blooded werewolf of millions of girls’ (and cougars’) daydreams, forcing Bella (and Twilight fans across the country) to choose between werewolf and vampire.  Anyone who manages to compete with Edward Cullen deserves our unmitigated respect.  And – hello! – he’s dating Taylor Swift, making him one-half of 2009’s junior power couple. Watch out Beyonce and Jay-Z.

Miley Cyrus
Seriously, teenagers are ruling the world this year! In 2009, Miley expanded her empire even further, releasing the wildly popular Hannah Montana Movie and way more songs, including the ubiquitous “Party in the USA”. Who else in this world can get every single person (male or female) in a bar to stop what they’re doing and put their hands up, nod their heads like yeah, and move their hips like yeah, when they play her song? And who else can do it at the age of 16?

Lady Gaga
This pop superstar has proved to us that aliens actually can invade the earth and rule it within a year.  With her ridiculous outfits, hats, wigs, and disguises, not to mention her seriously creepy music videos (Bad Romance, anyone?), Lada Gaga has proved to us that she is not from this world, yet she totally owned music in 2009. She had multiple #1 singles, and her album The Fame Monster thumped from the speakers at every party in America all year long, featuring such hits as Just Dance, Poker Face, Paparazzi, and Bad Romance. But even more captivating than her sticky-sweet, synthesized tracks was her outrageous image, which got her noticed by America and made her into an international superstar—and the number-one Halloween costume of 2009. Congrats, Gaga, you’ve made insanity cool again.

Britney Spears
After basically the worst 2007/2008 ever, Britney FINALLY managed to pull off her comeback in 2009.  Her new album Circus was huge, rising to number one and giving her a bunch of smash singles like “Circus,” “Womanizer,” “If You Seek Amy,” and “Radar.”  Her tour sold out every single show in North America and reminded us of why we loved Britney so much back in ’01-’05.  Forbes listed her as the 13^th most powerful celebrity this year (and 2^nd most powerful young musician), and Billboard named her the second-best-selling act of the 2000’s. This year, we stopped thinking of Britney as the train wreck she has been in recent years, shaving her head and attacking cars with umbrellas, and starting thinking of her as the superstar she truly is.

New Jersey
Sure, New Jersey isn’t a person, but it definitely had a hell of a year.  New Jersey has risen from “armpit of the nation” obscurity to reality TV gold this year, with the smash success of Bravo’s “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” and MTV’s “Jersey Shore.”  New Jersey finally stopped wallowing in its own unpopularity, and, like any good reality star, learned to exploit its own trashiness for profit.  Now the joke’s on the other 49 states, as the Real Housewives and their “bubbies,” and Snookie and her “poof,” bring in the big bucks for the Garden State.  And that’s the situation right there.

Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian
This year, Kourtney and Khloe transformed from the annoying sisters of annoying Kim Kardashian to annoying celebrities in their own right.  They emerged from Kim’s sex-tape and Paris-Hilton’s-best-friend shadow and forced themselves into the limelight with “Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami,” a reality show documenting their “single-girl” exploits in Miami last summer. Somehow, they managed to surpass all conceivable levels of fame-mongering when Kourtney got pregnant and Khloe got married within a month of each other, catapulting them into true stardom and making Kim look whiny and irrelevant in comparison. Their show may still suck, but their famous butts continue to grace the covers of our country’s esteemed tabloids practically every week.

Adam Lambert
He may not have won American Idol, but Adam Lambert’ fame has totally eclipsed that of his rival Kris Allen. His album, For Your Entertainment, debuted at #3 on the Billboard charts. He wowed us with his makeup, his style and his powerful pipes, but more than that, he became a poster child for the gay community. His American Idol loss has been viewed as a sign of homophobia in the entertainment industry, and his subsequent success shows that the underdog – and an openly gay emo singer who shoves a guy’s face into his crotch on national television – can triumph after all.

Tiger Woods’ Mistresses
Tiger Woods may have had the worst year ever, but his mistresses have him to thank for their fifteen minutes of fame.  The 15 ladies (and counting) who bedded the disgraced golf star chose the perfect time to go public. Piled on top of Tiger’s mysterious car accidents and stories of domestic abuse in his marriage, the stories of his affairs blew the scandal to astronomic proportions, making his mistresses doubly famous.  They’re all over the news, they’re getting exclusive interviews, and they have all the power while Tiger can do nothing but retreat to his $20 million yacht in shame. They may fade out in 2010 and return to their old lives as cocktail waitresses and club promoters, but for now Tiger Woods’ mistresses are on top (which, I imagine, is how Tiger liked it. BOOM!).

So, despite the fact that their assistants and private security will probably send these gifts away before they have the chance to open and enjoy them, here is my list of gifts I’ll be picking up for my favorite Hollywood A (and D) Listers.

Katie Holmes: A Patagonia jacket and some running shoes. The company is eco-friendly, you know. And, well, you never know when Katie might need to go running. In the middle of the night. In the middle of the winter. From a large compound in Telluride.

Brad Pitt: Condoms. And lots of them.  I don’t care how much he might love getting it on with his hot wife kids, we all know what happens to families with too many. And eight is already too many. Plus, Brad is so much sexier on a motorcycle than when he’s toting the kids around in a giant Escalade. And a nasty beard.

Jennifer Aniston: We know this Hollywood starlet hasn’t had the best luck with men, so we thought we’d give her something a little more dependable. Now she can have it all: the long-term cuddle buddy she’s been looking for, without all of that tabloid heartache.

Rob Pattinson: Me, wrapped in a bow. Or, you know, maybe some shampoo?

Tiger Woods: A lifetime pass The Bunny Ranch, the legal brothel in Nevada. Homeboy’s gonna need to get his rocks off somewhere now that he’s effed his way through the entire population of Florida.

Speidi: A vacation. Forever. In Sub-Saharan Africa. What can I say – I’m a giver.

Jon Gosselin: It’s hard to look cool in a giant van when you’re carting around your eight adorable Asian kids. Which is why Jon totally needs some Ed Hardy floor mats and a steering wheel cover. And if I have any money left over, maybe I’ll throw in a custom paint job, too. Anything to help Jonny Boy find true love again.

Adam Lambert:  Eye-makeup remover.  And a chisel.

Kanye West: According to Tim McGraw AND Snoop Dogg, all Kanye West deserves for Christmas is a serious beat down. But maybe I should leave that to Chris Brown?

No?

Too soon?

This makes us sad. Very, very sad.

The Golden Globes love Glee, too!

Get what you want this holiday season.

Adam Lambert gets a gig!

Holiday survival for the single ladies.

Would you buy Lilo’s old clothes?

ABC hates Adam Lambert.

Dude, I’d stay with Tiger Woods for $60 million!

Who has the worst album covers of 2009?

Quick fixes for perfect brows.

Jersey Shore is totes legit, says one NJ Italiano.

Lady Gaga is more than a pretty face (behind a veil of lace).

And he’s revealing it on Twitter today!

Lady Gaga takes a tumble in Canada.

Real life drama hits the Gossip Girl set!

Give your BF the best gift ever.

Adam Lambert was an ugly duckling.

10 fashion trends begging for a comeback.

DROOL.

Is LiLo getting a reality show?!

WTF is Rihanna wearing?

Good Morning America gives Adam Lambert the boot.

Well, this is one effed up family.

Paula Deen gets up close and personal with a pig.

In defense of Adam Lambert’s on-stage BJ.

Does Emma Watson have a boyfriend?

Looks like Suri’s picking out her own outfits.

Kick those bad dating habits to the curb!

Happy 40th, P Diddy!

The pics you didn’t see from The Hangover.