Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!

(Girl, gesturing wildly to her friends.)

Girl: It’s Reverse Nursing! You suck babies in through your nipples!

(Guy, talking to his angry girlfriend on a park bench.)

Guy: What’s wrong with “Royal Buffet?” That’s where I went on my 21st birthday.

(Guy and a girl, talking in a bookstore.)

Guy: I checked it out, and it’s bigger than the girls’.

Girl: “Bigger than the girls” sounds like some terrible euphemism for something.

(Two guys at the Salvation Army.)

Guy 1: That old woman took the ugliest chair in the universe.

Guy 2: Maybe she needed it for fuel.

(Two guys, looking at a very tall rock.)

Guy 1: I don’t know, I think I’m counting on adrenaline to get me over.

Guy 2: Like, you’ll shoot adrenal fluid out your butt so fast that it causes you to fly?

(Two girls, at a sobriety checkpoint.)

Officer: Where are you girls off to?

Girl 1: Nowhere. Just carrying tons of booze around in our car for no reason.

Officer: That’s not funny, you know.

Girl 1: Sorry, Officer.

(Man waiting in an office.)

Man: *points at desk picture* Is that your son? I think I’ve seen him somewhere.

Woman at desk: I’m sorry? Yes. It is.

Man: I’m not sure, I only got a glimpse before he turned around and started making out with some girl. He’s very attractive.

Woman: … Thank you?

(Girl, making plans on the phone.)

Girl: We’re trying to do a beach trip on Saturday.

(beat)

Girl: No, I don’t know what the weather’s gonna be like. Can’t we check it when we get there?

(Big, bearded guy walking by another guy in a hardware store.)

Beard guy: *leaning over, muttering* Hey… hey. It’s insanity.

Other guy: What?

Beard guy: *keeps walking*

(Girls hiking on a forest trail.)

Girl: Doesn’t it seem like everything fun is illegal?

Girl 2: Yeah, or else it’s already on fire.

(Guy on the phone.)

Guy: My roommates are just such… big, mean, round gay monkeys!

First was St. Patrick’s Day. Then we spoke to both the Millionaire Matchmaker and last year’s Top Chef, Stephanie Izard (who are both much better female role models than some people out there). Then March Madness kicked off?

And we can’t possibly forget the brand spanking new CollegeCandy.com design. Hollerrrr.

We were so busy we barely had time to breathe, let alone sit at home and waste time online. It’s a good thing we have a giant purse; no need to stop at home when we can load everything from our books to our lip gloss in there. Although it might have been a good idea to leave the phone at home when we were out drinkin’ it up in honor of St. Pat. Drunk texts? Almost as awkward as waking up next to the weirdest guy ever.

Unfortch, the week wasn’t all good. Between all the fun we came to the realization that we have no future, that guys tell each other some intimate details, that Brazilians are going bye-bye, and that everyone’s boobs are growing but ours.

We also witnessed some seriously annoying couples on the way to class, and got stuck paying half the bill when we were out with a new guy. WTF?

We’ve been running on adrenaline since Sunday, which means a Friday night in bed. Movie night, anyone?