Having just “celebrated” banned books week in America, I started thinking about the importance of reading, the beauty of stories and how much books enrich all of our lives. And most of my thoughts came back to one single theme:

W.T.Eff?

Banning books? Seriously? First Obama gets attacked from those crazy moms who think he’s out to brainwash children by giving them talks on the importance of education and now reading is bad for children, too?

The whole thing is just absurd. Have people even read the books they’re trying to ban? How can a story about a pooh named Winnie who likes to eat honey and play in the woods with his other anthropomorphic friends possibly be bad? It seems like a book that is deemed “good” and “appropriate” these days is a book that will not inform your child of the existence of sex, racism, violence, homosexuality, the devil, bad language, and any other concept that will cause children to ask you awkward questions. The whole banned books thing will probably cause my AP Literature class to be renamed AP Literature That Will Morally Damage Your Soul.

Does this mean we should ban Pokemon as well, since the little animals “evolve,” which therefore enforces the idea of evolution and is therefore anti-Christian and therefore is Satanic? Winnie the Pooh may be the poster child for the obesity epidemic, his friend Eeyore for depression, and Kanga for single moms everywhere, but that doesn’t mean our younger siblings can’t read about them. I happen to like Tigger, even if he does have ADHD. And although Harry Potter may have “witchcraft and wizardry” and whatnot, it’s still one of the most significant contributions to literature in our lives, and as such, should be available to anyone who wants to read it.

So let’s take the attention and money away from banning books and focus on some more important things that should be eradicated from this planet. Because in 2009 there are so many things worse than kids in capes flying around on broomsticks or finding a lion in your closet. Read More »

The Super Bowl is only a week away. Yes, one week.

One week until buffalo wing/pizza/guacamole heaven. One week until the biggest sporting event of the year. One week until the big halftime show. Are you ready for some football?

If you’re like many of the ladies out there, you don’t know many of the facts about the upcoming “big game” and you may not even care, but what better way to impress those sports lovin’ hotties at the Super Bowl party? And isn’t everything more fun when you know what’s going on and have someone to root for?

So without further ado, here is a basic Super Bowl XLIII 101.

The Teams

The game pits the top team in the NFC (National Football Conference), the Arizona Cardinals, against the top team in the AFC (American Football Conference), the Pittsburgh Steelers

The Arizona Cardinals:

-This is the first time in team history that the Cardinals are going to the Super Bowl. With 61 years under their belt, they have held the second longest championship drought in American sports.

-The Cardinals made it into the wild card round of the playoffs with a 9-7 record and shocked footballs fans everywhere when they won all 3 of their playoff games, despite being underdogs in each game. They are only the second 9-7 team in history to make it to the Super Bowl. Read More »

Pedophilia. I mean, not a popular subject.

Boobs. Popular subject.

Pedophilia combined with boobs: Weird…mixed…message…must…avert…eyes.

An ad agency called Serve, via the Family Violence Partnership in Milwaukee, recently launched some freaking weird ads featuring the faces of little girls combined with the giant knockers of older women.

“Just because she has the body” says one ad, “doesn’t mean she has the brain.”

(A catch phrase that also works really well when connected to Britney Spears…but I digress.) Read More »

American Apparel makes me f*cking nauseous.

Actually, let me restate that. American Apparel’s ads make me f*cking nauseous.

Their clothes are fine—if you enjoy looking like every other “non conformist” out there—but their ads are so annoying I feel the need to scream at everyone involved in making them.

It’s no news that AA enjoys exploiting the tired, probably drugged, dead-eyed look of the ubiqutious New York Hipster, but I just can’t understand how skinny, messy haired models photographed in bad lighting is supposed to make me want to buy clothes.

I guess if I was as desperate as them to be cool, saw a bunch of sluggish girls wearing one-piece bodysuits, and thought to myself, “Wearing an American Apparel bodysuit will make me so cool I’ll be bored!” I’d be likely to buy a brightly hued shirt or two.

But other than having no sense of self, I can’t understand why jaded models who look like they’re 12 would influence me to purchase anything—let alone a pair of silver lamé work-out shorts. Read More »

Tom Ford, the wunderkind designer who saved Gucci from going bankrupt way back when, is credited as being one of the most influential fashion gods of the last decade. He’s done a lot of things, including becoming creative director of Yves Saint Laurent a few years ago, and being named best International Designer at the first VH1/Vogue Awards in New York in 2000.

He claims to sleep about 3 hours a night, is quoted as saying things like, “The YSL (Yves Saint Laurent) woman might tie her boyfriend up and drip hot wax on him before they have sex, for instance. The Gucci woman is just going to have sex”, and originally went to school to be an actor.

Oh yeah, he also sells perfume by photographing it in between a naked woman’s thighs. Read More »