There once was a time when pornography was deemed dirty, sinful smut that would lead to hairy palms, blindness and a spot with your name on it in the hottest parts of hell. Fortunately for adult content fans everywhere, those days seem to be over. In what has to be the most sexual innuendo ridden article ever (subheadings include “Package Deals,” “Bottom Line,” and “Bang for the Buck”), Advertising Age revealed that “satellite and cable companies are loosening their chastity belts and getting more aggressive about promoting adult content.”
Looks like we can blame our failing morals and values on our failing economy or, as AdAge.com puts it, “The economy may be in shambles, but satellite and cable companies are making whoopee.” No longer does fear outweigh money – the bills are piling up and cable companies are going in the direction of the many sad and desperate before them.
I’m not sure when we became best friends, but it appears you know quite a bit about me. I don’t remember telling you, come to think of it, but it looks like you got the word that I am newly single. I have deduced that you know this because you are running special ads for me, like: “single again?” and “Going through a break-up?”
How kind of you! I was hoping that you, anonymous Facebook ads, would help me fix my love life!
It’s nice that you take note that my tied down friends need no such help from you, but that because my status is “single” I am a candidate for your therapy! Do I need a second chance with my ex? I sure do, Facebook advertisement! At 20 years old I am a miserable spinster! I desperately need your advice on how to win my man back – the man that I got rid of on my own accord – so, please, tell me how! Never mind the fact that you just assumed I was the dumped; I will take your advice anyway. Really? I can just enter my e-mail and you will send me tips? I can watch helpful videos? What ever would I do without you!? Read More »
I love a fun-spirited competitive romp of cult cultural activities. I’m a thumb wrestling champ and a beer pong aficionado. Many crucial decisions in my life have been decided by a rousing game of rock paper scissors. But I simply must put my foot down with this National Texting Championships. Read More »
Have you seen those ads? You know, those Match.com ads? The ones where some HOT guy is “video chatting” right on your screen? If you frequent MySpace, I’m sure you’ve seen them.
Every time one of those redonkulous video ads pops up on my browser, I want to punch whoever made them in the face. Because those guys aren’t on Match.com. Those guys have never needed an online dating site to help them find a chick (or a dude, as the case may be). Those guys are hot. Those guys have fantastic smiles. Those guys are actors.
According to this little article, the success rate of the online dating industry is 22%. Of course, the ads for EHarmony and Match.com don’t want you to know that. They want you to think hot, happy people are all over their websites. They want you to pay money to find these hot, happy people with fantastic smiles.
But I gotta say, after doing my own (ahem) research, I have found the amount of hot guys on dating sites to be alarmingly low. There’s certainly no body building Brad Pitt lookalike hoping to video chat with me. There’s someone who wants to chat about how it’s cool to be a nerd or make vegan cupcakes, but sadly, this someone cannot hold a candle to those dudes in the video ads.
What do you think? Is internet dating really as easy / successful as people say? Or is it just false advertising?
During my junior year of college, while studying abroad in Sydney, Australia, I landed an internship at Cosmopolitan magazine.
After six months of getting editors coffee, reorganizing the beauty closet, and transcribing celebrity interviews, I was convinced that I was destined to not only work for one of the top women’s magazines but that, the minute I once again stepped foot in the U.S., it would be an absolute piece of cake to land an internship at Cosmo or any major magazine.
It wasn’t. As soon as I got back in the spring, I sent my resume and cover letter to almost every editor at every major women’s fashion and lifestyle glossy. Some never even responded. Others emailed me back saying that my credentials were great but they had already selected their summer interns. Still, other editors did call and interview me and I was offered a few positions, but there were only for openings that were three days a week unpaid. In New York.
I admit, I’m one of those people who watch the Super Bowl mostly for the commercials (although this year, I almost shed a tear when my New England Pats choked at the end…NH pride, baby!), and while advertisers were mildly funny yesterday, there were really only a few commercials stood out for me.
One featured Justin Timberlake getting his ass kicked. Now, I’ve never really been JT’s biggest fan; I don’t find him that attractive, I’m not really into his music, and sometimes I think he comes off kinda self-involved…but I gotta hand it to the guy: the more he acts, the better I like him.
Also, who isn’t into watching someone getting hit in the nuts not once, not twice, but three times?!
Walking around Soho on a Saturday afternoon is generally a trying experience. As I struggled my way through thousands of shoppers and tourists heading down towards Canal Street, I looked up to see the newest billboard for Svedka vodka and stopped dead in my tracks. “90% of New York socialites prefer Svedka over eating.” Pan to my jaw dropping.
The ads use a female robot promoting what life and drinking might be like in the year 2033. The robot is, not surprisingly, large breasted and big assed. Using the female form to sell alcohol is not a new concept. According to Svedka however “The Future of Adult Entertainment” seems to also involve stereotyping homosexuals, and encouraging starvation. The taglines bring a new low to the world of booze peddling. The advertising agents have gone so far as to say “people are intrigued because we all secretly want to have sex with a robot.” Really? Robot sex is never something that titillated me, but who knows what I’ll be into in 10 years.
As much as I find most of these ads totally deplorable, there is one billboard that makes me smile every time. It says, “18 Billion Scientologists can’t be wrong.” Making fun of scientologists is always funny. Read More »
Actually, let me restate that. American Apparel’s ads make me f*cking nauseous.
Their clothes are fine—if you enjoy looking like every other “non conformist” out there—but their ads are so annoying I feel the need to scream at everyone involved in making them.
It’s no news that AA enjoys exploiting the tired, probably drugged, dead-eyed look of the ubiqutious New York Hipster, but I just can’t understand how skinny, messy haired models photographed in bad lighting is supposed to make me want to buy clothes.
I guess if I was as desperate as them to be cool, saw a bunch of sluggish girls wearing one-piece bodysuits, and thought to myself, “Wearing an American Apparel bodysuit will make me so cool I’ll be bored!” I’d be likely to buy a brightly hued shirt or two.
But other than having no sense of self, I can’t understand why jaded models who look like they’re 12 would influence me to purchase anything—let alone a pair of silver lamé work-out shorts. Read More »
Dear Facebook Ads,
Have you seen those ads? You know, those Match.com ads? The ones where some HOT guy is “video chatting” right on your screen? If you frequent MySpace, I’m sure you’ve seen them.
During my junior year of college, while studying abroad in Sydney, Australia, I landed an internship at 
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