My first day of college? Well, much of the same: ditch mom and dad after they take me downtown to eat at an expensive restaurant but don’t marvel at the used, rusted bed frame, desk and chair; shove any and all syllabi materials into a folder and go back to texting on my BlackBerry, chase down the closest seat to the cutest cutie in the room (but don’t get too close, you’ll look desperate), eat lunch surrounded by strange, potential friends and wait for my final class to end to call mom and dad.

I wish I could have pressed rewind and told my six-year-old self to remember exactly how I felt on my first day of kindergarten because 12 years later I’d be retracing my steps as a freshman in college. Reason #4353453578768 why life should come with a remote.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t come with a remote. (I mean, really, what are the Apple geniuses and Bill Gates of the world doing if they’re not inventing people-activated remotes yet!?)

So, uh, like I was saying… oh, yeah, life doesn’t come with a remote and ultimately we end up repeating a lot of the same life lessons and experiences in different contexts and locations. That being said, let’s connect the dots of kindergarten and college! I guarantee the same smooth moves you were making in your Velcro LA Gear Light-Ups you’re still making today in your slip on TOMS.

How, you may be asking yourself, does one come to know such things?

Setting aside my refined, exclusive investigative talents and my keen sense of intellect… it’s all in the playbook; the rules; The Dummies’ Guide To; The Barron’s Book of… all right there, folks.

I’m shouting out all you soon-to-be freshmen right now. The life lessons you already learned in your first few days of kindergarten you get to learn again in your first few days of college. It’s like holding the answer key to your chemistry test while retaking the exam. Bingo!

The first rule is to make a friend. Anyone. Anywhere. Now is not the time to be picky. Just pick someone. Like the days of playing in the sandbox outside Mrs. Jones’ classroom, you just need that initial human contact to get the blood flowing. Once you make a friend, you’re golden. The luxury of kindergarten is that friend might be attached to your hip all day but in college, that might not be the case. Instead, think ahead. In kindergarten it was new station, new friend, so in college just follow that same system: new class, new friend, new dorm, new friend, new lab, new friend… you get the idea, right? Chances are that by the end of your first two months of college (maybe even kindergarten, too) your initial friends will now just be acquaintances. You’ll figure your own friend circle out soon enough and you’ll coordinate when and where to meet for lunch, whether or not you have classes together and how close your dorm rooms are from one another. Until then, I’m begging you, just find a friend.

The second lesson you learn in kindergarten is partners. While in kindergarten your teacher is in charge of picking partners, on the college end you can blame (or thank) the registrar for picking your “partner.” When you’re six, your partner is the person that hangs that book-bag up next to yours, stands in line next to you, walks to and from recess with you, shares a chore with you, reads books with you and makes sure to check that you’ve pushed in your chair and cleaned off your desk. At college they’re really upping the ante with this whole partner thing. In this day and age, you actually live with your partner. Forget the three o’clock bus driving you to safety! Meet your new partner, your roommate. You will either love her, hate her or be totally indifferent toward her (a.k.a. you hate her but are trying to be above such negative language). Luckily, kindergarten and college make it possible for you to opt out of this whole partner situation. If you really don’t get along with your partner, cry. Cry, cry, cry. Your kindergarten teachers will do something to make the circumstances livable and if they can’t, they’ll give you a new partner. The Higher Up’s at college make it a little more complicated. Request a move. Talk to your R.A. And if you must, cry.

Try not to become a hysterical, sobbing mess if and when you get lost.  Kindergarteners and freshmen in college are the easiest targets to spot in a school setting because they always have that Mom-just-caught-us-with-the-lights-on look about them. As a former kindergartener (many, many moons ago) and a former freshman (in more recent history), I’ve been in your disoriented, lost and confused shoes one too many times to count. It happens to us all, even if we are too prideful and say it never did, rest assured because it definitely did. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt, college freshies, and carry a map. Or go explore campus during freshman orientation. Walk from class building to class building and try to at least familiarize yourself with your surroundings. I’d tell you to take notes on where to go, but lets face it, I didn’t and neither will you. For all you Kindergarteners out there, if you lose your way and all else fails remember this: you are a tiny, six-year-old little, harmless adorable human. Someone will find you if you are lost. But if that person takes too long, you have every right to cock your teeny, tiny head toward the clouds and wail your heart out.

“Everybody else was doing it”…. eh, not such a good excuse anymore.  If Jimmy and Tommy were throwing rocks at the girls at recess, then Johnny, that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea for you to do it, too. Bad, bad, bad idea. Even worse idea when you start throwing around phrases like cops, LSD, underage drinking, destroying school property, drawing on your R.A.’s door and flooding all the toilets on the first and third floor bathrooms. To all my future trouble makers: although it may be exciting and spur-of-the-moment because all your trouble making friends are doing it too, do yourself a favor and do it better so that you don’t get caught. Five o’clock in the morning phone calls home begging for bail money isn’t exactly the best way to get on mom and dad’s good graces.  Plus, if mom and dad find out you were in time-out, kiss Nick at Night and dessert goodbye!

This last lesson might take longer than a week for little kindergartener’s to truly get a firm grasp of but all you veteran high school folk and freshly college freshies should know this one like the back of your hand.  Get involved! Be outgoing. Try new things. You’re in a whole new place with a once in a lifetime opportunity to reinvent yourself any which way you choose. Paint with your fingers or your toes. Hell, paint with your earlobes. Don’t be afraid to join a totally outrageous club or link up with the Librarians for Literacy movement. Go for a Naked Bike Ride or dread your hair. Who cares! You’re young and fresh, man. (Get it? Get my really good play on words? No? Okay. Fine.)

After feeding your eyeballs and brains with enough knowledge to last you your first week of kindergarten and college four times over, here’s my last piece of educated advice. Spend as much time as possible doing what you love. Keep doing it. Forever. Even if it’s playing with Legos or braiding Barbie’s hair. Let your passions drive you.

Move-In Day can either be a hit or a miss. The worst part is over when you finally chuck the deuces up to your parents as they get back in the car (“Later, guys! No, I totally won’t give in to peer pressure. I’ll def study hard. Love you too!”). Trust me, missing them won’t be as bad as you think. It’s like ripping off a bandaid. Don’t do it slowly or you’ll both cry.

Now, may I be the first to remind you: just because your new friends take full advantage of the free beer and meal plan doesn’t mean you should, too. Keep that cute lil ass of yours in check!

That said, rest assured that everyone is friendly. So be outgoing, Hang out with your God-fearing RA’s rather…um…interesting roomies. Don’t freak out if you don’t instantly click with someone- you’ve got four years to make another impression. And also- this is important!- don’t be weirded out by the idea of tagging along with the crew you meet heading out at the same time as yours. Bigger crews = better fun. By doing this, you’ll make connections for next week as well!

Be prepared to introduce yourself upwards of 35 times whenever you go out. More if the music is nice and loud. Introduce yourself to the cute guy in the backyard of Phi Kappa Gamma if you’re so inclined (it works). And clubs (the school kind) are obviously great places to a) get free food that’s cooked by people instead of the machines in the dining hall and b) meet people with similar interests. Getting involved in every aspect is so much easier than you might have thought.

Waking up for class, you guessed it, sucks. If you’re smart, you will have chosen the classes that start at 10 AM or later, but if you’re one of the unlucky ones who had to fill the 7:30 class, my heart goes out to you. Stick it out, braveling.

Sit where the teacher can see you. Always have a pen in your hand. Look somewhat interested (even if you rushed out before grabbing your extra-caf iced coffee), and don’t answer questions with valley girl answers (“Tell us about yourself and why you decided to take this class, Susie Jones!” “Well, ummmm…. I don’t know? I like, needed it for a GenEd requirement? Um, I really wanna be an aaaaaactress, um…. *nervous laugh* I don’t really know what else?”). Just keep it short, sweet and matter-of-fact.

Here’s to an eye-opening blast of a first semester, fellow froshies!

After having, literally, maybe three beers all of high school (not a prude, just didn’t care for the taste of what was given to me), I came into college a drinking virgin and very quickly had to learn what my limit was. (Basically, by exceeding my limit night after night after night…) I had to learn what I liked to drink, how much and how frequently.

After downing five shots of Rubinoff in ten minutes and blacking out, punching my roommate in the face, puking all over the communal bathroom, changing in front of a guy friend of mine and destroying my laundry clothes rack (after falling into it), I knew I had to take this experiment with drinking a little differently. So I made a few rules.

In order to spare you from the same embarassment and loss of precious laundry racks, I thought it was a good idea to share these rules with you. You can follow all of them, or some of them; whichever you choose, just remember to take it slow. Real slow.

1. No shots of cheap, nasty tasting alcohol. If you wanna do shots, make it one (maybe two, who we kiddin’?), not five or six or seventeen… and never use Rubinoff.

2. Do NOT mix. Start the night with one drink and keep at it until you’re through. Mixing creates a whirlwind of different types of drunk that normally left me hungover and puking the next morning.

3. If you drink liquor (over beer), drink slower. For many – like myself – liquor (i.e., vodka, rum, etc) does a number on you quicker than a few beers. So, if you decide to brave the evening with some Rum and Cokes, make sure you pace yourself so you don’t end up hugging the toilet.

4. Do not compete with your friends. Especially dudes who can handle WAY more liquor than you can. I found that out the hard way when I tried to race my 220lb buddy in a case race. He finished 30 beers. I made it to 12 and puked all over my dorm. Soooo nice.

5. Stay away from the bad experiences. If you had a little incident with vodka like I did, stay away from the stuff for awhile. It’s good to find out what you can drink (by finding out what you can’t handle, pretty much), but give yourself a break from the not-so friendly liquors that have tainted your stomach in the past.

It may have taken my entire freshman year, but I got the drinking thing down pat. I now have a taste for wines, beers and liquor that I like, which are much tastier than the inside of my mouth after a night of puking.

[Photo courtesy of anvari.org]

The worst part? Sharon was super fun and nice with every other person on our floor but for some reason couldn’t stand me.

I made myself scarce and tried not to be in the room when she was. I hid out in the dorm lounge and the cafeteria. Meanwhile, Sharon did the opposite and made my life a living hell.

The final straw came the night she came home drunk at 2 AM before my first big test. She shushed her gentleman friend loudly as they stumbled into our room, then she dragged the poor shlub up onto the top bunk of our bed for what had to be the most awkward dorm sex ever. I told myself that night that I would try to find a new roommate. Sharon must have heard my prayers because a few weeks later she asked ME to move out so she could live with her best friend. I didn’t even feel like arguing or complaining. I just said sure and amazingly enough moved into the open room right across the hall.

Since then, I’ve had some great and not so great living situations, but none of them taught me as much as my first semester at college. Here are a few tips for those of you taking the plunge into dorm life.

1. Be Flexible, But Don’t Be A Pushover

Being a good roommate is all about compromise but once you start taking a dive in every argument, it is impossible to earn back that respect. Decide which things are worth fighting for (no sex on the top bunk while you’re awake is a good place to start) and stick to it.

2. Don’t Sink To Their Level

Crazy roommates will fight dirty. They may yell, scream, write passive aggressive notes, hide your stuff, etc. Nothing will piss them off more than you being the bigger person. Act like an adult, be respectful, and try to communicate face to face as opposed to via a dry-erase board and strategically placed post-it notes. Trust me, this is harder than you’d think, but it will save you a lot of petty fights and slammed doors in the long run.

3. It’s Okay To Move On

Sometimes people just aren’t compatible. You can try to be friends, you can try to be civil, you can try to just co-exist but sometimes it just doesn’t work. If you’re in the dorms, talk to your resident advisor, or contact the housing office. Ultimately, don’t be afraid to get out of a hostile situation and move-out. It can be easier said than done, but if your situation warrants, it may be the only way to resolve it.

Just remember: Class may suck, your clubs may keep you busy but your living situation shouldn’t give you a headache. Do your best to stave off drama from the beginning. Communicate, think positively and pick your battles. If that fails? You better take top bunk.

Even for the biggest social butterflies, there is always going to be some slight apprehension when faced with the prospect of making a completely new set of buddies, leaving the comfort zone of the high school social circle.

Typically, the transition for most students is from a smaller high school to an often much larger college. This leaves an opportunity to meet people, but don’t rely solely on “mass-friending” people in your incoming class on Facebook to start connecting with others (that leaves for the always slightly awkward meeting which is guided by a mutual search for the person who matches the default profile picture). Also, don’t rely solely on meeting new people on your floor of the dorm where you are living, either. Just because you live in the same general area, there is definitely no guarantee that you’ll share common interests or have agreeing personalities.

Here are a few ideas to get connected with other students on campus, and hopefully make some new friends:

Join a special interest or volunteer club.

Are you into scrapbooking, animal rights, or “green” initiatives? There are so many clubs dedicated to everything (from Salsa dancing to barbequing) that finding one that captures a passion or hobby is usually fairly easy, and if not, you can request to create a new club! By connecting with others that have similar interests and passions, you create an instant common ground. Also, many college campuses have clubs dedicated to those who share the same cultural heritage or religious background.

Try out for a club/intermural sport.

Whether you are very athletic or not coordinated in the least, trying a new sport (e.g. golf, ultimate Frisbee, judo, triathalon, Guitar Hero training… seriously) that sounds interesting and fun to you is a great way to build friendships and get into shape! Many club sports welcome inexperienced members, and will often have trainers, uniforms, and other benefits available to you without having to pay hefty dues. Plus, if you get good, you might place and be able to compete in a larger competition. It’s a great way to build some team spirit.

Audition for or join a performing arts group.

If acting, singing, playing an instrument or dancing is of interest to you, I highly encourage getting involved in the performing arts on campus. Like the sports, performing arts groups are like teams, bringing people close together, whether they are rehearsing for a musical, practicing together for a showcase, or even preparing for a gig at the student union. Though I am a finance and marketing major, I auditioned and made it into the top chorale group at my university. We performed in amazing places and even got to go on an all-expenses paid trip to Ecuador, where we went to and performed in workshops, met international students, and toured volcanoes and other gorgeous landscapes.

Go Greek or join a major academic or professional organization.

Even if you feel that Greek life is “all Greek to you” (haha, yeah…), definitely check out Greek life, as well as the other major academic and professional organizations on campus (which may or may not have Greek letters, as well). While the social Greek scene was not for me, I joined a professional business fraternity (co-ed, yay!) that focused on building business skills and networking, while also promoting a sense of brotherhood and connection between the members. While rushing/pledging a major organization may seem daunting, if you are dedicated, the entire experience is worth it, and you make great friendships along the way.

Take a class that you are interested in, even if it is not in your major.

Elective classes (and even classes in general that you enjoy) are a good way to meet people, especially if they are discussion-based. Sharing opinions, working together, and studying together are always a surefire way to bond.

College is the best time to try new things and meet new friends. So get involved (especially if you are commuting)! I promise you will not regret it.

Now what? NOW WHAT?

Now it’s time for the best 7ish days of your life: Welcome Week! For the only time in your college career (besides senior year, maybe), you have no class, no reading and nothing but time to get to know your lovely new home.

It is time to meet people, take part in all those fun campus-sponsored activities, and get the lowdown on which party stores sell to the under 21 crowd. Oh, and buy books…but we recommend waiting until the last day to do that.

Welcome Week is a totally new experience to you, Ms. Incoming Freshman, so we decided to give you a few hints for survival. No, you don’t need a tent, helmut and 30 bottles of water, but you do need an open mind, a little bravado and a whole lot of Advil.

Our writers looked back into their hazy Welcome Week memories and gave us this advice:

Julia – UC Berkley: Don’t get too rowdy with the boys. My friend went a little, er, wild during welcome week and ended up missing all of her first fall semester due to an unfortunate case of mono.

Kelly UMass: Stay away from the Jungle Juice (or anything in a tub/large cauldron) and watch the roads. My first night out in college I saw some drunk dude get hit by a car. No lie.

K – NYU: Never hook up with the guy who asks, “Do you want liquor?”

Jo – University of Miami: Go to as many “welcome” events as you are able to, no matter how random or lame they sound. Everyone is in the willing mentality to make new friends, and it is a great chance to, even if you get to make fun of the silliness of the experience.

Lauren – University of Michigan: Don’t go to parties alone, don’t leave parties alone and don’t sexile your roommate just yet. She has no friends to crash with just yet…and she will remember it. Forever.

Jill – University of Wisconsin: Wear clothes when you are stuck hugging the toilet bowl in the morning during welcome week, because it’s just a tad bit awkward when your roommates parents are trying to move in her matching shower curtain and toothpaste holder and you are in your hanky-panky’s on the bathroom floor. Love-ly.

Amber – Old Dominion: Obey the “two week rule” and don’t hook up with anyone within the first 2 weeks of college. That guy you were really into at orientation will be a douche bag by the next week.

Victoria Witchey: Don’t be one of those kids with a cell phone connected to their ear ‘checking’ on what’s going on back in your hometown. Meet, interact, party. Take advantage of your first week. Also, put something memorable on your dorm door- its way easier to remember, “It’s the one with the pink rubber chicken on it” than a random group of numbers.

Carly – Grinnell: Even if you feel exhausted or awful, try to be friendly and keep up your energy during all the social events. The people you meet there will likely be your friends for the whole year and longer!

John – UConn: – Don’t be afraid of bothering people you’ve just met. Sit with them at lunch, even if you’ve only seen them around the dorm once or twice, even if you’re normally shy, even if they seem a bit annoying – chances are they’re worried about talking to you, too.

Kari – Florida State: Don’t ride the mechanical bull if you are prone to bruising…your inner thighs won’t be the same for weeks.

Elizabeth – Baruch College: 1. Talk to strangers. Take their candy. Make friends. 2. Smile and be happy. There’s nothing to stress about, believe it or not.

Noa – CU Boulder: Give everyone a chance. Yes, I agree that the dude in the tight pink shirt probably sucks, but you never know who his friends are.

A.G.D – Emerson College: Be careful if you’re on the bottom bunk. In certain (ahem) positions your hair will get caught.

Olua: Don’t overdo the welcome back parties so hard that you miss a ton of your classes your first week back. You’re going to need those absences like fish need water later in the semester.

Sara – NYU: Get lots of numbers, but don’t sleep with anyone yet. Wait till at least week 3. Trust me.

Sady – The New School: There is a crucial difference between “That dude who wants to make out with you, the freshman” and “That dude who only makes out with freshmen.” Learn it well! Here are some things to look out for: offers to “show you around campus,” buying you drinks (many, MANY drinks), open sores on his face, the fact that he’s thirty-five.