Unlike Brody Jenner, I was extremely depressed when I saw Avril Lavigne’s trashy corset and horse-tail extensions smeared all over Maxim this month. Regardless, loyal to the man-mag and the bro-tastic insight inside, I snatched up the magazine. And that badboy was thick! I even had to pull out my 3-D goggles again for a few (almost) nakie chick spreads. This shiz puts the IMAX theater and Avatar to shame!
Inside, once you got past the trying-to-be-sexy Avril pics, was a hilarious small feature on celebs that truly need them some Dr. Drew. They included Jennifer Aniston (because of her addiction to crappy rom coms), Lebron James (because of his inability to refer to himself in first person), and Barack Obama (because of his chemical dependence on mom pants). There was also one of those charts, like the ones in J-14 that help you decide which celebopper you’re going to marry, however Maxim’s helps you decide what type of person you are going to hook up with during Thanksgiving. If you’re interested, I took the quiz. Apparently I’m going to hook up with my grandmother’s Jamaican nurse.
Also in November’s issue, Bret Michaels was featured in an article telling us how to be a reality star. Unfortunately, he left out the important stuff like “get a spray tan” and “always cover up forehead acne with a bandanna.” He did leave us with this gem, though: “At some point you have to forget about the cameras all around you. I had to get drunk.” OHEMGEEEEE, Bret! We’re so synced – just replace “cameras” with “D-Bags and midterms.” Read More »
It’s that time of month again: Maxim has slapped a cover-photo of a sultry women touching her tresses on newsstands everywhere. And I’m busy shoving the copy in my purse for later…. when I’m not sitting next to my dad on a plane. Honestly, I can’t get enough of the magazine. Besides having to get over the embarrassment of flipping to a spread with nearly nude women in public, the mag is a skeleton key into the male mind. And I’ll take it. Again, and again, and again.
So of course I could not help myself when I came across an article called ‘Check Your Head’ which showcased some insane sex tips for men. Before reading, I instantly predicted an article that was going to make me giggle like a school girl, but turns out, the article was really good and had some real good (ahem) tips. All the men out there reading this, get the issue now and flip to page 52. Your new name will be ‘Golden God.’
Anyway, (whoa, train of thought, where art thou?) sprinkled in with the many token sexy girl interviews telling men how to properly take off their T-shirts, there was a hilarious and interesting interview with Chris Rock, where he stated his proudest accomplishment was Pootie Tang. Awesome.
And finally, I ran across a man-advice juiced article aptly named, Spring Clean Your Life. I couldn’t wait to dig in and discover what men are worried about de-cluttering come spring time. All of their crusty instant macaroni bowls? Sticky shot glasses? Old Playboy? Febreeze bottles? Errr….not so much. Guys are actually worried about things I would never think of in my entire existence, until now. Honestly, if it weren’t for the half naked girls on every other page in the mag, I would have sworn this article was written for a woman.
I guess getting one’s sh*t together in guy speak is a lot like get one’s sh*t together in girl speak. Let’s take a gander, shall we? Read More »
This week’s article warns men to get rid of emasculating trends in their relationship. I didn’t realize this was such a problem, but apparently men are being emasculated from coast to coast and someone at AskMen thinks it needs to stop.
And he means business.
The article puts men in their place right from the start: “When women emasculate us, it’s often because we let them do it. Our wives don’t want to think of us as anything less than men — they only think about us like that when we act like that. All those emasculating trends in our relationships, we’re complicit in them. If you no longer feel like the man of the house, it’s at least partly your fault.”
Of course, showing any signs of having an actual human soul will lead your girlfriend to see you as a girly child and treat you as such. If you’re not pounding your chest and tearing the flesh off a dead zebra, something is very, very wrong with you. And your lady hates it.
Let’s see what the “men” at AskMen advises the boys to do: Read More »
This article’s tag line is: “If she’s said any of these things to you, she’s lying.” Starting off with a gross generalization is never a good thing, but let’s take a look at what lies the boys at AskMen think we’ve been telling. All of us. Every time we speak.
“I’m not mad at you.”
Askmen says: “Oh, yes she is. Don’t think you’re getting off that easily. This lie is one of the most frequently used in relationships. Typically, women who have been hurt by men in their lives — often inadvertently — use this phrase as an emotional defense. For example, if a guy forgets his girlfriend’s birthday, calls her by his ex’s name or commits any of the other minor screw ups that most men do on a daily basis, women usually can’t just let it go. They dwell on it, letting worries whittle away normal feelings of well-being like a dog gnaws on a bone.”
I say: This is true some of the time, but there are definitely times we really just aren’t mad! Really! And if we are, we don’t all let it “whittle away normal feelings of well-being”; we can get over things, you know. The best way to get around this confusion is to encourage open and honest communication from the start of a relationship. Read More »
This article is nothing but a load of misogynistic crap about women being submissive to men. It open’s with: “Women like to be controlled and dominated. Don’t fool yourself into believing that they don’t. They do… Secretly all women desire to submit to the will of their man.”
Of course, he is sure to include a disclaimer: “First off, I’m not promoting any man to beat any woman. You can dominate her without putting the “smack down” on her.” That’s right boys, stick to verbally abusing your women, please.
And it only gets worse – much, much worse – from there.
How should a man respond when a women is nagging him? Because that’s all we ever do, right? Miller suggests saying the following: “WOMAN! Last time I checked I was the one with the penis in this house. You better go in that kitchen and get my dinner on the table!” Miller goes on to explain that if she tries to talk back and argue, “just shake your head no and point to the kitchen. She’ll get the message. By doing this you will subconsciously reinforce the fact that you are the dominant one in the household. You’re the man and your word is the only one that counts in the end.” I say: Is this guy for real? Does he honestly think any self-respecting woman is going to just scurry off to the kitchen because the man with the penis said so? Read More »
While searching for bad advice articles for this week’s column, I came (teehee) across one article that I loved so much I had to share it with all of you. The article is about female orgasm and it packages some of the best sex advice men can get into a relatively short and easy-to-read article. While this article gives me hope that guys might be learning something out there in the big world of men’s mags, it also worries me that those same guys will internalize everything they catch on these sites.
But, what can I do about it? If dudes are learning how to please a lady, who am I to argue?
Ladies, read this article with your partner!!
Just like we are always wondering what guys are thinking (which usually consists of sex, sports, beer and sex), guys want to know what’s on our minds. What do we want? What do we like? What the hell do we mean when we curtly say “it’s fine” after they push us to order the salad instead of the pasta?
Contrary to popular belief, they care what we think. Not only because they want to please us, but because they want to woo us, lure us…and get us into their beds.
So, we at CollegeCandy decided it was time to let guys know exactly what we like/hate/and dream about at night. So, vote, comment and pass this on to those boys in your life. And remember: unlike sex with most college men, this is all for you in the end.
When considering a boy-toy, which do you prefer: the sensitive guy who is in touch with his feelings, or the strong guy with the tough exterior?
[For more dating and relationship fun join the CollegeCandy Facebook group!]
Just like we are always wondering what guys are thinking (which is usually sex, boobs, or sex), guys want to know what’s on our minds. What do we want? What do we like? What the hell do we mean when we curtly say “it’s fine” after they get us a push-up bra for our birthday?
Contrary to popular belief, they care what we think. Not only because they want to please us, but because they want to woo us, lure us…and get us into their beds.
So, we at CollegeCandy decided it was time to let guys know exactly what we like/hate/and dream about at night. So, vote, comment and pass this on to those boys in your life. And remember: unlike sex with most college men, this is all for you in the end.
When it comes to menfolk, which do you flock to: popped collar preppy boys, or the soccer ball toting sporty guys?
Just like we are always wondering what guys are thinking (which is usually sex, boobs, or sex), guys want to know what’s on our minds. What do we want? What do we like? What the hell do we mean when we curtly say “it’s fine” after they cancel our recording of The Hills to record some crap on Spike TV?
Contrary to popular belief, they care what we think. Not only because they want to please us, but because they want to woo us, lure us…and get us into their beds.
So, we at CollegeCandy decided it was time to let guys know exactly what we like/hate/and dream about at night. So, vote, comment and pass this on to those boys in your life. And remember: unlike sex with most college men, this is all for you in the end.
How do you like your men: natural scent or enhanced by a spray of cologne?
Just like we are always wondering what guys are thinking (which is usually sex, boobs, or sex), guys want to know what’s on our minds. What do we want? What do we like? What the hell do we mean when we curtly say “it’s fine” after we catch them chatting with a whore another girl at the party?
Contrary to popular belief, they care what we think. Not only because they want to please us, but because they want to woo us, lure us…and get us into their beds.
So, we at CollegeCandy decided it was time to let guys know exactly what we like/hate/and dream about at night. So, vote, comment and pass this on to those boys in your life. And remember: unlike sex with most college men, this is all for you in the end.
What is more important to you: a guy who is well groomed (read: pretty), or a guy who is well-read (read: intelligent)?
Unlike Brody Jenner, I was extremely depressed when I saw Avril Lavigne’s trashy corset and horse-tail extensions smeared all over Maxim this month. Regardless, loyal to the man-mag and the bro-tastic insight inside, I snatched up the magazine. And that badboy was thick! I even had to pull out my 3-D goggles again for a few (almost) nakie chick spreads. This shiz puts the IMAX theater and Avatar to shame!
It’s that time of month again: Maxim has slapped a cover-photo of a sultry women touching her tresses on newsstands everywhere. And I’m busy shoving the copy in my purse for later…. when I’m not sitting next to my dad on a plane. Honestly, I can’t get enough of the magazine. Besides having to get over the embarrassment of flipping to a spread with nearly nude women in public, the mag is a skeleton key into the male mind. And I’ll take it. Again, and again, and again.
This Week’s Article: 
This week’s article: 
Reality Shows We Miss
Comedy is So In This Season
New Round of Shops at Target!
Unscripted With MIB 3
Most Controversial Comedies
