The time’s come. You lean in for that first kiss. You’ve known each other for years/months/weeks/days/hours. There’s this connection between you, he understands you, every moment together is stress free and sexual tension filled! Just as your lips are about to reach his…he turns the other cheek…which is the equivalent of taking a shat in your hat then offering it to you for wear. WHY? What happened? Did you grow another head? Was there not enough Dewars? Is he self-conscious about the fact he uses more tongue than Gene Simmons? Then it comes, “I think we should just keep it as friends.” *fire the boxing glove gun to his groin*

Don’t blame yourself…necessarily. Look, you don’t know until you try. I mean, there was no way to predict he didn’t want to take it further, right?

If he introduces you to his buddy that just got out of a long-term relationship…he probably just wants to be friends. Read More »

The last Dude’s List came at a break up from POV of the boyee! We listed 11 reasons why he’d call it quits and hit the bricks. THIS TIME I’m coming head on for the adam’s apples. I run down 13, that’s right, 13, reasons that you ladies tell the boys to hit the bricks and get to steppin’. I should note that this was done after extensive and exhaustive polling by means of alcohol and righteous anger. Let’s let ‘em have it.

1.    “I’ve got too many things on my plate right now”

Sometimes, you just don’t need 1 more thing to deal with. Who hasn’t been there? You’ve got career or family or school or all three plus an addiction to True Blood to serve. There are only so many hours in the day and you’ve got to put your energies to what’s most important. Sometimes on the list of priorities, a boy (especially one that’s driving you up walls) isn’t near the top. Respect.

2.    “You’re still living with your parents and you’re 30”

Hey, in this economy, living back home with the family is a fiscally responsible decision. But that’s not what we’re talking about here. We’re talking about the guy who’s got no direction BUT home. When it comes to ambition, a lot of guys fail. Just, fail. They’re unmotivated and uninterested in being their own person. Who the hell needs that much extra dead weight dragging you down?

Read More »

This time the Dude’s List examines 11 reasons why “it’s not me, it’s you.” Deal breakers and heart breakers are like snow flakes. But here are 11 of them for you to get a closer look at. As always, I’m not advocating that all/any of these reasons are fair/legitimate/mature but they’ve been used. Let’s get down to the nitty gritty where guys tend to draw the line and call it quits.

1. “I Really Have To Focus On My Career Right Now”

The age-old question: Happiness or success? (Okay, it’s not that old of a question and that’s not always the question.) A lot of guys are trapped in their ambition. Or a slave to it. Or just really, really narcissistic. Sometimes the job comes before the relationship. It’s a choice. Is it the right choice? That’s not for me to make a judgment on. Every relationship versus job scenario is filled with more variables than cafeteria mystery meat. In this economy, careers are harder to build but women are everywhere, right? I mean, who can be happy in the unemployment line? Some guys are wired to believe that they can’t be happy at home unless happy at the office. Not advocating, just observing. And sometimes I observe guys moving across the country for a dream job, leaving their girlfriend of three years behind.

2. “You Deserve Better”

Have you heard this? Or said it? Did you mean it? Did he? It’s a rewording of “it’s not you, it’s me.” Because now no girl will ever believe that excuse since it’s entered the kingdom of cliché. But hey, some guys do self-sabotage their relationships and truly can’t appreciate what they’ve got, think they’re not worth it, and so break up with you because they think it’s only a matter of time before you realize you could do better. You know what I say to those guys? “F*ck you!” If you ever got this break-up speech, count your blessings, because you were done a favor…even if it felt like a kick in the tits in the moment.

Read More »

Hey Dude,

So I am a student at Arizona State; that right there says it all. They should put somewhere before going to ASU “Don’t fall in love at this school.” Anyways, a little over a month ago I made the mistake of falling for a boy. We flirted over Facebook, his roommate dates my best friend at school, and he invited me out with him and his guy friends one night. We both had way too much to drink and I was feeling a little too good about myself, and well, long story short, we slept together.

Here I am thinking that I finally have a guy that could possibly like me, or want to pursue something and I mess it up by sleeping with him right away. I am a short blonde girl with features that guys usually notice before they get to know me. I DID NOT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN THIS TIME! We talked a couple more times after that and he visited me at the bar I work at. We had a short lunch one day so I could give him some study guides for a class, then four days later I left to go back home to New Jersey for the summer. And him… Well, he went home too. To CANADA!

Now I can’t stop thinking about him! He asked me to take a class with him in the fall, and we are both living in the same condo complex in the fall as well. We haven’t talked in a long time and I really do not want to lose contact with him. Better yet, for him to continue thinking I am just a girl to have sex with. I am royally confused and have no clue what to do. I know he has no idea of my feelings but I would feel like a weirdo telling him that I can not get him off of my mind. I highly doubt he thinks about me too, but from time to time he continues to like things on my Facebook page. I have never been in a serious relationship and really want to hopefully have one soon. I don’t want to continue screwing things up with this guy so I need help. What in the world would you want the girl to do, if anything?

Sincerely,
Desperate Hopeless Romantic Chick Read More »

Hey Dude,

So here’s the thing: I want to be friends with my ex-boyfriend.

I might be naive, and maybe it won’t work out, but I still want to do it. We dated for a really long time in high school (all four years), then went our separate ways for college. Then in college we did the whole hooking up thing for a bit, and now he has a new girlfriend and we are home for the summer. He says he wants to hang out.
Here’s my chance.

How do I do it? How can we really be just friends? I am not in love with him anymore, but he was my best friend for so long. Is there any hope of being real, genuine, friends?

– The Friendly Ex Read More »

Dear Dude,

I’m having some trouble figuring out what the guy I’m dating wants. We’ve been dating for a month now; he plays in my band and we met in February. He started flirting with me, chatting all the time and texting, until we finally kissed a month ago and we started dating. We go out 2 times a week and I already know all his friends. The problem is that he never had a serious relationship before, so he has no clue! He almost never texts, only for very specific things, and he makes me plan every date. Sometimes we don’t talk for 2 days until one of us finally talks, and I have no idea where is this going.

I really like him but I really don’t want to be played. He says he really likes me and I’m a very fun girl to be with, but that’s all. Is he into me, or just wants to be into my panties?

Thanks for listening! And greetings from Argentina!

— Tell Me What He Wants (What he Really, Really Wants) Read More »

Hi Dude,

I’m finishing up my sophomore year in college and I’m STILL a virgin. I’m not the prettiest pumpkin in the patch, but I’m not unattractive either. I’m confident and kind, and I’m not at all clingy. To be honest, I  haven’t had very many (zero) serious relationships. But also, I don’t want my first time to be a fairytale… A wham-bam-thankya-ma’am would be fine. Just, ANYTHING. But, I can’t, like, go out and act all slutty, go home with some guy and then be like, “Oh, by the way, I’m a virgin.” But I can’t not tell him either… because then what happens when he goes for it, things get all bloody, or I scream or something?

I need help, Dude. My gut tells me that I should chat up one of my guy friends and be like, “Hey, I’m tired of being a virgin, so, let’s f*ck.” Although, that could end horribly.

Bottom line, I want to get this over with so I can start having fun. Please, Dude, tell me how to go about this. (With hopefully as little drama as possible.)

Thank you!!!
- The Twenty Year Old Virgin Read More »

So it seems CollegeCandy’s Dude is the most popular guy, like, ever. You ladies just can’t get enough. You’d think he was Bradley Cooper! (Maybe he is….that’s one secret we’ll never tell.) Luckily, this guy’s a giver (even more reason to love him) and he’s gonna bring you even more of his wisdom. Only instead of answering specific questions, he’s telling us what we all want to know and never had the balls to ask. Don’t worry, he’ll still be back every Wednesday for Ask a Dude!

Welcome to a SUPERSIZED Dude’s List this week where we take a look at guys’ pet peeves with you gals. We’re not perfect and would never claim to be. For one, we’d get in trouble for thinking such an impossibility or those of us who would think we’re perfect assume it goes without being said (screw you, Bieber!) Regardless, here’s a smattering of the little things you do that we sometimes make bigger in our heads, and sometimes make us long for alcohol.

A small disclaimer: Many of the pet peeves on this list have been corroborated by members of the female gender after initial polling of fellow males. I’m all about thoroughness when it comes to research…

1. An hour to powder
Look, we understand that this (imagine me indicating my face) takes a while to put on. A lot of ladies tend to put a bit more thought and effort into how they present themselves. Fair enough. But between the cleansers, exfoliating, acne washes, acid masks, and moisturizers, the minutes of the day are ticking away and WE HAVE TO GET IN THERE, TOO!

2. Being treated as a purse holder
When you pass the purse into our hands at parties, we feel like an accessory rather than a date. We also need two hands. This applies to coats, shoes that are ruining your feet but you wear anyway because they’re pretty, and small dogs. Read More »

Hi Dude!

Well here’s the deal: my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year or so. Now we’re graduating from high school and (finally!) going to college and he is going to study abroad. Since he was a virgin when we first met (yes, I popped his cherry) I think this could be a really great chance for him to have new experiences… sexy ones. I’ve always been (kind of) popular with guys so I have a lot more experience than him and so we have had some issues with his self-esteem and such.

So … how do I ask him to… you know … “explore” some new possibilities without causing a misunderstanding? I don’t want to break up with him and I really wouldn’t mind if he were to hook up another girl. Actually, I think it would help him feel less curious about how it feels to sleep with someone else. It is not as if I would let him cheat on me every time he feels like it, but (!) I think having an affair would probably help his self-steem.

Thanks for your help!
— Probably Crazy Read More »

[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall?  We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]

Dear Dude,
I have recently found a new guy that I really like and now things are getting exciting in the bedroom department. However, I am very self conscious about my body and I always tend to stop things before they go any further. I would just like to know that if guys pay attention to those things. Like, does he notice my cellulite? The extra weight on my thighs? I know this seems like a ridiculous question, but it’s sorta paralyzing me and I don’t know what to do.

Thank you,
Totally Self Conscious Read More »