How cute is this guy?

Question for La Tuff?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and, you know, she might answer you and shoop.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I have been seeing this guy at school on-and-off since the beginning of the school year. He’s a freshman, I’m a sophomore. At the beginning, we hit it off great for about three weeks, and then he felt that he needed to keep his options open as a freshman–which I understood and let it go. He came back around Thanksgiving time and told me he wanted to start seeing me again, and I agreed. Things went great for a while, he called/texted me often over our month-long winter break, and I thought he seemed pretty into me. So, naturally, when we got back for spring semester, we were pretty into each other and he eventually asked me to be his girlfriend. Read More »

Looking back on my time in college, there are a lot of things I wish people would have told me. Things that would have really impacted my life both then and in the future.

- I wish I would have known that all the guys I had crushes on would get fat and bald in five years.
- I wish I knew how scary and overwhelming my first year out of college would be.
- I really wish someone would have told me how bad I looked in shirts that showed my belly.

Had I known these things, who knows how my life would have turned out? I know I wouldn’t have spent so much time pining over dumb boys, crying myself to sleep for a year, or hiding my Senior Year photo album (because we had real, tangible photo albums back in 2005) under a pile of old clothes right now.

And that is why I would like to share a few things with you. I am your future (a fabulous, successful, happy, sexy, awesome, etc. girl) and I know what is to come. Allow me to guide you in your choices – based on all I have seen in my 5 years (gasp!) since graduating – to ensure you make the right choices and don’t end up with the same regrets I have. Read More »

Hey Dude,
(Remember that show? Ha.)

Recently I had what I assumed was my first legit one-night stand.  Chatted up a friend of a friend at a bar, decided to accept his invitation to go home with him. In the morning as I was getting ready to leave for work, he mentioned that “we’re going to a party tonight, give us a call.” I assumed this meant him and the mutual friend and was probably just him saying it to make me feel less awkward about last night, especially since I didn’t have his number.  But a little later he mentioned hanging out that night again, asked if I had his number and then wrote it down for me.  After work I gave him a call but he didn’t answer.  I left a message with my name saying if had been wondering what was going on that night and that I’d talk to him later, and never heard back from him.  Should I try calling again or just let it go as a one night thing?

- Clueless Read More »

Got a question for Tuffaleh?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com for answerundos.

I can’t speak for every school, of course, but at Columbia, it’s hard out there for a single girl. According to statistics I made up just now, approximately half the guys at this place are gay, thirty percent of them are in long-term relationships, and the remaining twenty are generally kinda weird. (Many in a cute way, but some in a… not so cute way.) The fact that there’s an all-girls’ college right across the street doesn’t help matters.

With all that in mind, I’m certainly open to hearing tips on how to successfully snag a dude. So when I saw an article on marieclaire.com called “How to Date Like a Man,” I was intrigued.

The piece starts out pretty innocuously: “When you walk into a place, act like you know where the hell you’re going, even if you don’t. Everyone will wonder who you are and why you’re there, but they’ll never think you’re useless and confused,” writes Erin Dailey in her first paragraph. Okay, so far, so sensible. Looking confident and carefree is definitely more attractive than looking frightened and meek. It’s a little irksome that Dailey genders confidence as a masculine trait, but whatevs, I won’t fight it.

After that, though, things start to get a little iffy. Dailey tells women that once they’ve found a hottie, they should “look him straight in the eye and think, You should be attached to my lips by now; why aren’t you? Trust me, he’ll read your thoughts like they’re projected above your head on a wide-screen.”

Hm… I don’t know about this one. It seems like if you’re giving a guy a crazy, unblinking stare, he’s most likely going to think, What’s up with Captain Bug Eyes? and back away slowly. That sample thought—“You should be attached to my lips by now”—and the title of this section of the article, “Eye Your Prey,” also give this piece of advice a seriously creepy vibe. Dailey sounds like she’s decided to make Samantha Jones her personal man-handling guru, which makes her suggestions seriously suspect.

And things just go downhill from here. Dailey’s next bit of wisdom is to “fake interest” in whatever the dude is talking about, since “no one cares about what anyone else has to say. They just don’t.” Ouch, man. Why bother chatting up a guy if you have to feign enthusiasm for whatever he’s talking about? How could you form a relationship with someone you find totally boring? This just sounds mean.

Finally, Dailey tells us what to do after we have sex with the dude (because you should have sex with him immediately, since “that’s pretty much all they want from you until they get to know you.” And presumably letting him get to know you is like, too time-consuming or something?): “Never exchange all your information. This is so incredibly important. Give him your name. Give him a fake cell number. In this age of the Internet, anyone can find you if they want to.”

See, if you do give him your real cell number, “he will call you.” But… isn’t that the point? How are the two of you going to go out on another date if he can’t get in touch with you? I’m not the only one who thinks this sounds totally bizarre, right?

Maybe this article is actually supposed to be brilliant satire, and I’m too dense to recognize it. Maybe the title is just a little misleading; if it were changed to “How to Date Like a Douchebag,” or maybe “How to Score a One-Night Stand,” these tips would make a lot more sense. As advice for the date-seeking woman, though, Dailey’s piece falls flat. It’s also kind of offensive to guys, since in her eyes, “dating like a dude” means acting like a total a**hole. Thanks but no thanks, Marie Claire.

Got some college questions? Unsure of a decision? Need to pad that resume? Just wanna chat it up with some really awesome chics? We’ve got the girls for you. Hit them up in the comments or shoot them an email with the subject “College Q&A”!

Question:
I don’t like drinking but I feel like that’s all there ever is to do in my college town on the weekends. What are people supposed to do in college who don’t like to get wasted every night? And how are we supposed to find friends when all they ever do is go out and get drunk?

GPA Girl:

Wow, do I ever feel your pain. In my experience, there are lots of us non-drinkers out there, especially at the beginning of undergrad, but as time goes on, it becomes harder and harder to find people who want to do things other than get trashed. Not to mention that people who don’t like to drink are usually introverted, so it can be harder to find them and befriend them in the first place. Sigh. The deck is stacked against you, girl. But here is some good news: I managed to find amazing, incredible, awesome friends in college even though I didn’t drink a drop. Most of my friends did drink occasionally, but they shared my lack of interest in getting blasted at large parties every weekend.  Read More »

Question for Tuffy?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and leave a message at the BEEEEEEP.

Tuffy Question: Hey, where all the lesbians at?! How come I never hear from you girls?!

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and we are just crazy about each other, but we are still virgins.  We were originally saving our virginity for religious/moral reasons, but we both changed our minds on that and want to have intercourse now.  However, we each live in our parents’ homes and his family is super-religious.  And if someone finds out, both of us will be in deep trouble.  Apart from simply waiting, what can we do?

–All revved up with nowhere to go

Dear Revved,

What can you do?! Why, many a thing, young lass! Let’s see–

But first, let lil’ ol’ Tuffy just lil’ ol’ say: ALWAYS USE CONDOMS. In EVERY situation. In ANY genital exchange, with ANY gender. Okay?! CONDOMS. CONDOMS CONDOMS CONDOMS.

Okay, that said, first, I want to say that I am writing this advice to you, girl, assuming that you are of consenting age. Okay? Please, young ‘uns, wait till you’re ready. You should never feel pressure to have sex before YOU are ready to do it. No one tells you what to do with your body–you are your own and only your own.

So, now the fun! Things you can do: Read More »

College. Sigh. It’s unlike any other time in your life. It has its own set of rules, its own unique circumstances. And it’s not always easy to navigate. Everyone needs a little guidance now and then (or always) so we’ve pulled together a variety of perspectives (the does-it-all girl, the party girl and Ms. Study Lounge) to weigh in on your life conundrums and give you the best advice we can.

Every week they’ll be tackling your questions about college. From classes to keggers to keggers before classes, they’ll do their best to respond and be your Pez dispenser of collegiate wisdom. Got questions? Unsure of a decision? Need to branch out? Just wanna chat it up with some really awesome chics?

Hit them up in the comments or shoot them an email with the subject “College Q&A”!

Question:
So, I don’t know if you’ll know the answer to this but I’m trying to figure out my plans for the rest of the semester and I’m not sure which will look better on my resume: getting really involved in a student organization or getting a job. I have no idea what I really want to do in my future yet, so it’s not like either of them would apply much to what I end up doing, so I don’t know if it’s more important to get involved in one or the other. Any thoughts?

GPA Girl:
It seems as if either one could be a good option, but I’d lean toward “job,” and here’s why. When you finally do get around to figuring out what you want to do and applying for full-time jobs after college, your prospective employers will look to your previous work experience and references to judge how you’re going to act in their companies. They might look at extracurriculars as well–in fact, I’m sure they probably will–but I personally don’t think they hold quite the same weight. Even if you become a leader in an extracurricular activity, there’s not really anybody there monitoring your progress, paying attention to when you show up, and evaluating the work you do according to rigorous standards. In short, nobody’s paying you to do it and there’s no one there who can prove how good you did it. A job will provide you with verifiable references and experience that you will be able to use in the future, no matter what career path you choose.

Also, I’m sure our resident Busy Bee will suggest this, but why not get involved with both activities? You may not be able to devote quite as much time as you like to the student org, but it could be really enriching and rewarding for you to do both things and enjoy both experiences. (Plus, it will prove your ability to multi-task and handle multiple responsibilities, which looks pretty great on a resume.) Read More »

“What happened last night?”

Ahh, the blackout. These words have become oh-so-familiar over the past two years I’ve spent at this fine university. Sunday mornings – Gatorade and a McDonald’s breakfast sandwich in hand – I sit in my living room with my roommates, attempting to piece together the events from the night before. Looking through pictures, decoding unintelligible text messages sent to the cute guy from Calculus, my friend apologizing for puking on my shoes or stealing my pizza before I had a chance to get the door.

I can’t be mad at them though, or even blame them. Sometimes the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol takes over and there is no turning back. They are no longer the same person and are going to do things they wouldn’t normally do. Like the infamous girl-on-girl makeout sesh which is now plastered all over Facebook.

But like they taught you in elementary school, it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. And recently, that person was me.

My boyfriend and I have been together for over two vomit-includingly cute years. We moved in together in August to a new apartment where he makes me dinner after a long night at work, and we’ve even talked marriage.

We were the stereotypical happy couple until about two weeks ago during a blackout sorta night.

All of my friends were finally back in town before this spring (spring? There’s two feet of snow outside) semester started, so naturally we had to celebrate get wasted. After a long night of cheap vodka and too many shots at the bar, we went back to my friend’s apartment for afties. Just another successful night.

That is, until I realized that my boyfriend was missing and I had no idea where he was. I started roaming around the apartment. I looked in the kitchen, then the bathroom. Nothing. Finally, I peeked my head into my friend’s bedroom and there he was. Naked. On top of a girl. Who was also naked. Read More »

(1) Question; (2) TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com; (3) Answer.

Confidential to Missy’s Boyfriend: Get thee to a doctor. Herpes is highly contagious and you need to have yourself checked out. Planned Parenthood is a good option if you don’t have insurance. How many times do I have to say it, kids?! USE CONDOMS!!!