As I said last week, when I’m with my friends I tend to feel like the mom of the group; the one without the fun stories, the exciting crushes and the long drunken nights with friends. Well, I’ve recently discovered that there are some perks to being the momma of the group and the only girl in my group in a long term relationship.

I’ve become the one that everyone else comes to for advice or when they have an awkward relationship/sex questions.

Case in point: Last week I was at the gym with my friend who is one of the sweetest, most innocent girls you could meet. We were jogging around the track just doin’ our thing when she asked me if she could ask a bit of an embarrassing question. “Of course,” I huffed, not knowing what to expect. Especially knowing what came next.

“What’s giving a blow job like?”

I couldn’t believe one of my best friends, especially her, was asking me such a blunt question! On the track! But I realized that it took a lot for her to ask me that and that she must really value my opinion (considering I’ve never even heard her use that term before!), so I gave her the best description I could and answered all of her related questions. Quietly, of course, there were other people running around us.

Having a serious relationship has turned me into the go-to girl for my friends with relationship questions. They have told me that they know I’ve been through a lot and they value my advice. And I have to admit, giving out relationship advice is kind of fun! I like being the all-knowing sage and helping people who may not be where I am with Matt. It’s my unique way of contributing to the group when they’re all sharing stories and that I can no longer relate to. It makes me feel wanted and connected to a group that I sometimes worry I’m growing apart from. Read More »

Right now I’m inclined to try to persuade you to avoid going to graduate school in the liberal arts if you can. I want to implore you to avoid spending all that money to write papers upon papers about 16th century printing techniques and the subaltern in post colonial Jamaica. What are you going to do with all of this knowledge? Teach? You could do that with your bachelor’s. Yeah, you’ll get more money with a Masters or Doctorate, but what is money, really? Can it buy back your sanity?

Also, apparently, going to grad school is the first step on the road to divorce.

That being said, you really shouldn’t listen to me, because my beseeching you to invoke the Rosie the Riveter within and strike out into the real world comes from my own frustration as a master’s student in the liberal arts. As I write this, I’ve been waiting two weeks for my adviser to email me back about the teaching assistantship that would pay my tuition. Everyday that she doesn’t write me back is another day that I am closer to having to take out another exorbitant loan. This is one of the many such hassles a grad student has to deal with in addition to the mountainous pile of intensely boring papers. Read More »