This last Saturday, I woke up at promptly 10:30 a.m. stretched like a cat in my comfy, fluffy girl-bed, got up slowly and wandered into my kitchen for some toast. My feet were cold against my linoleum floor, my eyes were still a little sleepy and a soft breeze blew my crack-head bed hair into my eyelashes. And you know what I did after that?

I cleaned out my refrigerator. I even used Windex.

This is what I would like to call a “grown-up moment.” Times like these (where I clean out moldy chicken salad from my refrigerator door) are small adult moments. And trust me, I have big ones too. Why do I want to share them with you? Well, when I was in college – where washing a single dish, “tweaking” my resume between naps and considering the gym were all labeled hard work – I thought I would never grow up to feel big adult moments. But I already have! And so many of them. So, let’s get serious. I’m going to show you my top five:

1. Getting my first real job

It really can happen people. You will have a job, someday. I’ll be honest – when I was offered my job, I danced in an office with my boss with glee, got in my car and started crying. Crying tears of…joy. And for the record, tears of joy aren’t salty – they taste like cotton candy. And I swear the clouds were pink that day. I remember feeling so complete and accomplished, I could have stuck a rock up my ass and turned it into a diamond. I was that good. All of my worries about making everyone proud diminished.  Because I was making myself proud. Read More »

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David Duchovny (somehow?) conquers his sex addiction

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Johnny Depp does the pirate act for $56 mil (repeat: $56 million)

Nailin Paylin

Punch Michael Lohan for charity!

Vintage hotness: James Dean

Holly really did break up with Puffin — er, Hef

John McCain encourages idiots

The slinky song…for adults

Amy Winehouse wouldn’t mind dying

Mila Kunis is everywhere

Hollywood needs those bitchy critics

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The most stylish family EVAH