Addiction comes in as many types and sizes as the people it effects. Addiction is not something to be taken lightly either, no matter the magnitude of the situation. Whether it’s drug addiction, a shopping addiction, or an exercise addiction, any person struggling needs a strong support system. Many schools have on campus counseling centers to help addicts, but most college addicts don’t think they have a problem.

And we know that in college it’s really hard to find the line between a party girl and a girl in trouble.

Here are a few things to keep in mind to help yourself or a loved one in trouble.

1. No one is above addiction. There isn’t any certain kind of person that can fall into the downward spiral. It’s a fine gray line between habitual actions and addictive problems. An occasional drunk cigarette or ritual study-break coffee could turn into a battle of the wills. It can happen to anyone, including you, the straight-A student who is an R.A.

2. Addiction is a serious thing. There is nothing to be ashamed of, especially asking for help. Anyone who’s human knows how difficult it is to admit to something which we personally find shameful. Asking for help is the best way to start off fighting addiction on the right foot.

3. Yes, we will help. If this is something you’re afraid you won’t hear aloud, don’t worry. There are anonymous support systems through both helplines and internet websites. You’re not the only one. There are good people out there, willing to help. Don’t be afraid to reach out. And vice versa too! Make yourself available to talk when you know there’s someone who needs to. Two people fighting addiction will always be stronger than one. Help a friend help themselves.

4. Good friends risk the friendship. If your friend is struggling with an addiction, it’s important to make sure she gets the help she needs. She might be angry with you at first, but if you’re real friends, she’ll realize you reached out because you care for her. And if you’re the one with an addiction, keep this in mind. It takes a lot of bravery for a friend to try to get you help.

Do you have a story about addiction? Whether you’ve struggled with it yourself or you’ve seen a friend struggle, let us know below.

[Lead image via Pavel Sazonov/Shutterstock]

My aunt has been addicted to cheap pink wine fore 13 years. When I was a teenager I remember finding a giant bottle tucked away in the fridge near her bathroom. She used to say, “I just like having a glass before bed…it helps me sleep.” But even then I knew there was more to it than that.

This woman I knew as energetic, happy and fun transformed into a mean, foul being who constantly played the blame-game when she explained why she drank. “Your mother and uncle have always been awful to me…they made me this way.” I never loved my husband…he made me this way.”

Listening to her go on and on was not only angering, but utterly draining. I’d leave her house after a visit and feel exhausted by the toxic energy she spewed at me. It was in that last moment, when I pulled out of her driveway, that I decided I’d never set foot in her house again. 

It’s been four years. And when I received an intoxicated and seemingly heartfelt voicemail from her on Thursday, wishing me a happy birthday, I decided I needed to see her. I knew she would be a mess, my mother and grandmother constantly report her unimproved status on a daily basis. But I wanted to experience her myself. I wanted to see how much worse she’d become, as crazy as that sounds.

I walked in her backdoor with my mom (there was no way in hell I’d go alone) and saw her: hair, a mix of gray and red; face, makeup smeared and layered; body, almost emaciated. She was sweet at first. Her body shaky and weak. But when my uncle came home or my cousin entered the room, she’d shout, “I hate you!” and “You’re worthless.”

It was shocking to see what they were living with. That day she’d thrown my uncle’s laptop computer out the window and destroyed it, just because he wouldn’t pick up wine for her. He called the cops; she got arrested and sat in jail for 4 hours. Of course this was all she talked about. A circling of phrases that sometimes inquired about how I was doing, how my boyfriend was and then back to “Can you BELIEVE I was in JAIL for FOUR hours today!!!!!?????”

Speaking with someone in this state of mind is incredibly unbearable. And seeing how much her addiction has ruined her and her family was almost movie-like. It was so bad it didn’t seem real.

It got me to thinking about how people deal with problems. She has been suppressing years and years of emotional pain and thoughts with alcohol instead of dealing with them head on. She has been missing out on her life because she’s been too afraid to deal with and communicate her concerns, her worries, her dreams.

Life isn’t easy. But it’s overcoming challenges, not hiding from them, that makes us healthy and strong. If what you’re experiencing is too overwhelming, ask for guidance, speak up and surround yourself with happy people. Doing so will ensure that you never find yourself alone at the bottom of a wine bottle.