Them's fighting words, Lindsay.

For those of you living under a rock (or in a cubicle thanks to that stupid unpaid internship deal) these past couple of days, Lindsay “Lilo” Lohan has been sentenced to 90 days in the slammer for….A LOT OF THINGS: cocaine possession, tampering with her SCRAM bracelet, driving drunk on the freeway…the list goes on. Sadness for Linds (and the paparazzi who will have nothing to do for 3 months.

Even worse, thanks to her nice little message (“F**K U”) painted on her nails in court, Ms. Lohan may be spending even more time behind bars for contempt of court. Buuuurn.

We’re all about punishing Lindsay for all of her less-than-flattering indiscretions, but if Linds is getting bonus jail time for writing F U on her nails, she better be getting even more for these crimes against humanity: Read More »

I am so sick and tired of hearing about Jesse James trying to apologize and make up excuses for why he decided to cheat on Sandra Bullock, America’s favorite sweetheart. It’s bad enough that he cheated on Sandy with multiple women, but the fact that he’s going to the media (i.e People Magazine, Nightline) and explaining what prompted him to cheat (apparently his Dad was abusive to him as a child) just proves that he needs to grow a pair and be held solely responsible for his actions.

During his Nightline interview, James explained that one of the main reasons he cheated on Sandy was because as a child, his father was emotionally and physically abusive to him, going as far as breaking his arm and beating him. Although I do think abuse is an extremely touchy subject and it would be stupid to make up stories about abuse, I don’t even know what to believe anymore. Here, the fault lies in not only James but also Nightline. By granting him an interview and allowing him to share his side of the story, the public is encouraged to sympathize with him and maybe even give him a free pass for his infidelities. It’s a win-win situation for both sides: Nightline gets the viewership and publicity of the interview and James gets more coverage and money in return.

Abuse or not, what people need to understand is that Jesse James initially made a vow to Sandra Bullock during their marriage and he was the one who chose to sleep with Bombshell McGee (the tattooed up adultress who, in desire for her 15 minutes of fame, blabbed her big mouth to the world). At the end of the day, by excusing his “transgressions” (ha!) to his father’s abuse, James is the coward copping out and not stepping up to his own responsibilities.

The same can be said for Lindsay Lohan, the actress we all love to hate. Lohan, who once used to be one of Hollywood’s most sought out actresses, is now a hot tranny mess who is shamefully wearing her SCRAM ankle bracelet. Many people blame her parents for her derailment, but honestly, she’s the one snorting all the coke and downing Vodka like it’s water. Lohan should really be taking advice from Drew Barrymore, who, after her stints in rehab and failed marriages, is now Hollywood’s Golden Girl.

Sucky parents or not, celebrities in the likes of James and Lohan need to realize that for all that they’re given in the world – a life of fame, luxury and money – they need to step up and seriously take some personal responsbilities to their action. I absolutely do not feel sorry for James and hope that he locks him and his junk away from the rest of the world and becomes eternally miserable for cheating on Miss Congeniality.

Suck it Jesse.

There are a lot of celebrities out there that simply disappear, whether it be voluntarily or due to lack of talent/rehab/Bermuda triangle.  There are a couple that have massive amounts of issues, yet refuse to disappear.  In fact, they seem to pop up everywhere, strutting around uninvited on every red carpet.  People like Bai Ling and Paris Hilton are prime examples.

More recently, we have Mischa Barton.  I gotta admit, I really do enjoy watching a mediocre TV actress fall from grace (and she fell hard!).  Oh, speaking of mediocre actresses, I think I heard the other day that Tara Reid has teamed up with the douchebag powerhouse that is Christian Audigier to design some piece of crap that I’ll certainly see all around campus.  Yay.

In light of that wonderful piece of news, I think it’s time to pair up a couple of the most washed up faces in Hollywood:  Mischa Barton and Tara Reid. Read More »

My aunt has been addicted to cheap pink wine fore 13 years. When I was a teenager I remember finding a giant bottle tucked away in the fridge near her bathroom. She used to say, “I just like having a glass before bed…it helps me sleep.” But even then I knew there was more to it than that.

This woman I knew as energetic, happy and fun transformed into a mean, foul being who constantly played the blame-game when she explained why she drank. “Your mother and uncle have always been awful to me…they made me this way.” I never loved my husband…he made me this way.”

Listening to her go on and on was not only angering, but utterly draining. I’d leave her house after a visit and feel exhausted by the toxic energy she spewed at me. It was in that last moment, when I pulled out of her driveway, that I decided I’d never set foot in her house again.  Read More »

Throughout my sophomore year at college I’d pretty steadily hooked up with this guy, let’s call him Blake. Despite the fact that we were on good terms and friends outside of the bedroom, our hook ups only occurred when I was drunk. I’d never really wanted things to go any further with him; he was a sweet kid, but really only as a drunk hook up and fun guy to goof off with.

Things ended when he moved out to L.A. after graduation, but we kept in touch online and through Facebook ever since.

So when I clicked on my Facebook event notification and saw that he’d be back in town in a couple months, my first instinct was to accept the invite to the party in his honor.

That is, until I saw the Facebook wall.

One of his buddies, whom I’ve never met in my life, wrote on the wall: “Hey Blake, you should call that Melanie chick. That alcoholic nympho will probably get so excited she’ll bust a clasp on her straight jacket.”

Wow. What?!

Directly following Doucheface’s comment, Blake responded with a nice “hahahaha.”

Shocked, embarrassed and angry, I confronted Blake about the whole thing. He fed me some baloney about his friend “taking stories and blowing them out of proportion” and brushed me off like it was no big deal. I was not amused. I mean, this was not some private issue; my name was being slandered in a very public place. Read More »

It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. And in the game of Bad Habits, you will always come out a loser. As I laid in a tanning bed, I thought about how this bad habit was going to affect me in the long run. Even though I love the immediate benefits of this vice (golden, sun-kissed skin!), I can’t help but worry about my future as a leather-skinned freak. Is the bronze skin of today worth the skin cancer of tomorrow? Let’s examine the dangerous games we play and weigh whether the consequences are worth the benefits:

Tanning

Why We Do It: I am addicted to the healthy glow I get from taking a 20 minute nap in my favorite tanning bed! I feel more relaxed, have less acne, and generally feel less self-conscious. When I’m feeling confident, I can stand up straighter, smile bigger, and show off my legs without feeling embarrassed. I feel like confidence enhances my life and I don’t want to go through my heyday without it. Read More »

Here’s a secret: the editors of CollegeCandy are not in college anymore. And we cry about it every day. Seriously. We thought running a site for college girls would help us stay young, but waking up every day and reading about your college lives makes us want to do a keg stand…and then cry in the corner.

When we were still in school (only a short time ago, thankyouverymuch), we took it for granted. The freedom, the endless flow of money into our bank accounts, the drink specials, the endless flow of men up and down the hallways of our dorm… We never appreciated what we had. And now we are in the real world. And it sucks.

We felt it was our duty to remind you how good you have it. Life will never be as awesome as college – you can’t stay home from work because you feel like it, you can’t trip and fall on a cute and available guy, and Thirsty Thursdays no longer exist. So take a moment and think about your favorite thing about college life. Our writers did and here is what they have to say: Read More »

The mustard belt will remain on U.S. soil for another year.

Amy Winehouse seems to be mastering the art of multi-tasking

Ashley Dupre attemps to “drop negativity from her life.” Quite a large task, no?

Doin’ it doggy style? You could be breaking the law.

Fad Diets: First the Cookie Diet, now a McDonalds Diet?!

Venus Williams: the favorite child

You know those mornings. The ones when you and your girlfriends gather from your various places of shacking over lots of water and ibuprofen to remind each other of the hilarity that went down the night before. Amid all of the laughter (and reviewing of pictures….to jog your memory), you suddenly realize just what happened: the worst thing ever. And it was horrible. And it may or may not have been one of these:

5. A lost wallet and/or clutch. This is particularly disturbing because it is usually the first thing that hits you in the morning, well before you’ve had any time to nurse the hangover you earned. It feels very similar to being on a deserted island that smells strongly of vodka and lime. You are cell-less, cutting off contact with the outside world. With credit card whereabouts unknown and no proof of identity, you are left defenseless against fraud. If you are underage, there is the heavy burden of finding a new fake i.d. The brand new lip gloss and powder from MAC that you inevitably JUST bought are gone forever. Worst of all, your dear, loyal, and perfectly fashionable clutch will never be wedged into your armpit for pictures or table dancing ever again. R.I.P. Limited edition Coach Python and Boucle clutch. You will be missed.

4. The guy you went home with. Okay, last night this guy was h-o-t! He was witty and charming and so attentive to your needs; not once did he let you have an empty glass! Whether you met him at the pre-party, the bar, or on the way home (never a good sign), this dude – who seemed like a great idea at the time – is now nothing more than a big (or worse, tiny) mistake. Often, this error in judgment will use trickery and promises of rides on his family’s yacht to get you home with him, but come morning all he can offer is a ride home…if you’re lucky. High-tail it out of there and head to the nearest health clinic to make sure all he has given you is a bad memory. Read More »

I’ve had my share of eccentric travel companions, but none can top my alcoholic ex-boyfriend. On our trip to Italy, his antics epitomized the disgusting reasons why we are called Ugly Americans. The list below clearly catalogs ten reasons I now choose my travel companions wisely.

Our trip to Italy began as most do: pleasantly, in romantic Rome. We had been dating for nearly a year and, for two months leading up to the trip, he quit drinking and limited his smoking! I was feeling optimistic. We spent the day walking to all the major sites in Rome except for the Sistine Chapel, which we agreed would be a nice culmination of our travels and saved for the end of our trip.

Reason #1: A Peroni in Florence

Walking along the main promenade our first evening in fiery “Firenze,” he was hungry and stopped by a pizza joint, ordering pizza and a Peroni. “I can’t travel in Italy and not drink at least one Peroni,” he insisted. He was hungover the next morning, and we were an hour late to our reserved date at the Uffizi.

Reason #2: A Moretti in Venice

We arrived in the maze that is Venice by train. Claiming he was hot and in need of a refreshment, he ordered a Moretti at a nearby café. Then, upon arriving at our hotel, he continued to drink at the nearby bar while I showered. Four beers later and much to my embarrassment, he jumped off a bridge into the contaminated channel. A passing resident scolded him and a fight nearly ensued. For the remainder of our stay, he was on a quest to find the highest bridge from which to jump. Due to a “mysterious” ear infection, he ultimately decided against it. Read More »