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[If you're anything like us here at CollegeCandy HQ, you've been so busy making your Halloween costume and stuffing your face with candy corn that you missed the whole "World Series is happening" memo. Yeah, that thing, the most important series in baseball, is starting tonight. But don't worry; we reached out to our all-knowing sports fanatic dude to get all the deets.

Below, everything you need to know about this year's World Series match-up. Read it, learn it, know it....then follow along and wow your boys with your impressive sports knowledge.]

When the World Series starts tonight most of America will be wondering where A-Rod and Derek Jeter are. No, folks, the New York Yankees aren’t back in the World Series trying for their 28th championship. Not interested? You’re not alone. The vast majority of this country won’t be paying attention to the World Series between the Texas Rangers and the San Francisco Giants. And it’s unfortunate. They’ll be missing two of the best teams in baseball with some of the top pitchers to come around in a while. And if you’re looking for juicy stories, this series may have some of the juiciest in a long time.

What is it: The Major League Baseball World Series features the winners of the American League and the winners of the National League in a best-of-seven games series to determine the world champion. Whichever team wins four games first, wins the series.

This year: The San Francisco Giants (NL winners) will play the Texas Rangers (AL winners). It’s the Giants’ third World Series appearance since moving to San Francisco from New York in 1958 (1989 and 2002 are the other two). It’s the Rangers’ first World Series appearance since it was founded in 1972.

About the Rangers: Texas lives and dies on its pitching, thanks in large part to new owner and former Rangers pitcher Nolan Ryan. He went to an old-school mentality and trained his pitchers to throw more innings. It was widely ridiculed around baseball because teams invest so much money into their pitchers. But it worked. And when the Rangers traded for pitcher Cliff Lee, who has struck out 34 batters in the playoffs and walked just one, they became the team to beat in the American League.

But…

The Rangers also feature some of the best hitters in baseball in Josh Hamilton, Vladimir Guerrero, Ian Kinsler and Michael Young.

About the Giants: In the Year of the Pitcher, it’s hard to bet against Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum, the 26-year-old two-time Cy Young winner (the award given to the best pitcher) with the long, shaggy hair. Just look at the guy; you’d think he’s covering a Led Zeppelin song before he’s starting a World Series game. But this series isn’t just about Lincecum or any other Giants pitcher. Giants such as rookie catcher Buster Posey, who is the front runner for NL Rookie of the Year, Aubrey Huff, Edgar Renteria, Juan Uribe, Pat Burrell and Aaron Rowand, are also worth watching.

The juicy gossip: Texas Ranger Josh Hamilton is a Hollywood-esque success story. After being the first pick in the 1999 MLB draft, Hamilton spiraled out of control starting in 2001, falling out of baseball while become a drug addict and alcoholic. He declared himself clean in October 2005 and started his road back to the majors in 2007. In March, it was reported that Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington tested positive for cocaine during the 2009 season. Rangers’ management allowed him to keep his job and he rewarded them with the team’s first World Series.

Impress him with this: Alex Rodriguez used to play for the Rangers … Former President George W. Bush used to own the team … The Giants’ last World Series championship came in 1954 … Rangers catcher Bengie Molina will get a World Series ring regardless if Texas loses because he started the season on the Giants.

World Series schedule (All Games on Fox)

Game 1 — Wednesday
Texas at San Francisco, 7:57p.m. EST

Game 2 — Thursday
Texas at San Francisco, 7:57 p.m. EST

Game 3 — Saturday
San Francisco at Texas, 6:57 p.m. EST

Game 4 — Sunday
San Francisco at Texas, 8:20 p.m. EST

Game 5 — Monday (If necessary)
San Francisco at Texas, 7:57 p.m. EST

Game 6 — Nov. 3 (If necessary)
Texas at San Francisco, 7:57 p.m. EST

Game 7 — Nov. 4 (If necessary)
Texas at San Francisco, 7:57 p.m. EST

A very special thanks to our pal Josh for bringing us up to speed.

If we’ve learned anything from this whole Tiger Woods debacle, it’s that some women simply can’t resist the glory of sleeping with a celebrity. And who can really blame them? You put Chase Crawford in front of me and there’s no telling what I would do in order to get him undressed and into my bed. And if it takes heavy drugs and a blindfold, so be it.

In fact, I can say that for a lot of celebrities. A girl can dream, can’t she?

But the fantasy doesn’t extend to all of Hollywood. There are a few celebs that I would rather not have anywhere in or around my lady parts. For example:

John Mayer:
This was a tough one for me because I’m a sucker for anyone who can serenade me – especially if it’s in a limo on the way to a Hollywood party – but there are a few other factors that I had to take into consideration. For example, let’s all say it together now: MAN-WHORE. John Mayer’s dating track record reads like a phonebook, and that’s simply not promising for our future together. And maybe I could look past that for a night of passion, but I simply cannot look past the faces he makes while on stage. If he looks like this while singing, I shutter to think what he looks like in bed.

Alex Rodriguez:
Because, really, is he that hot? I feel like I’ve been misled. I don’t know what everyone else sees, because very time I look at his picture, I just feel like there’s something not right there. And honestly, that damn Yankee has slept with every female in NYC. Plus, if the rumors are true and he and Kate Hudson are through, well he is just an idiot and I don’t mess with idiots.

Robert Pattinson:
I’d be seated on a throne of lies if I told you I wouldn’t happily fall into bed with Edward Cullen. But Robert Pattinson, on the other hand, just doesn’t do it for me. His greasy locks are always standing at great heights, which leads me to believe he showers less than twice a week. And I’d like to take him to a tanning bed, just once or twice, to give him a little glow. Or skin pigment at all. He’s nearly translucent at this point and pasty isn’t a good look on him.

Chris Brown:
R.I.P. Chris Brown’s sex life. Assault pretty much put the nail in the coffin of that guy’s life. It’s too bad, too. I used to imagine what our wedding would be like. He was going to sing “With You” to me at the reception, now I just want to punch him in the genitals.

Justin Bieber:
My best guess says that this 15-year-old pop star is still holding on to his precious V-card. And as awesome as it would to take a celebrity’s virginity, I’m not into statutory rape. I’m not that fame-hungry.

The top five greatest American Idol finale moments.

These people should not have children.

Lisa Rinna’s lips aren’t real?!

Kate Hudson is A-Rod’s latest conquest.

5 jobs for easy money.

I am a Cosmo devotee. Have been since I started stealing my mom’s when I was twelve. I am amazed monthly by the hair, the witty captions, and their never ending innovation of synonyms for the word penis. Many of my friends, acquaintances, relatives and sisters swear by Cosmo as their Bible (and for the most part I do too). But there are some times (well…many times) when Cosmo’s take on real world situations is – in a word – whack.

I will still accept their declarations of lip gloss superiority like they were handed down from the divine, but when it comes to their interpretation of all things men (or at least all things greatly generalized and stereotyped), I think I’ll be reading with a grain of salt handy.

And I’ll pass that grain onto you. With every passing month and, in turn, every new “Secret Sex Fantasy Guys Won’t Tell You!” revealed, I will be here to break it all down for you. I will find the truth buried deep between the unsafe sex positions and “things he secretly loves you for,” so you don’t end up with a stiff neck, an angry boyfriend or some seriously embarrassing sexcapades.]

In this March’s “The New Attitude That Drives Men Wild,” Molly Fahner attempts to dissect the fine art of playing hard to get. Oh, you didn’t see that coming from the title? Don’t worry, me either. I like to reflect on the hidden meanings of the cover story articles, because they are so very often not what you think they’ll be (aside from the “596 Sex Tips We Publish Every Month”).

I imagined that Cosmo had discovered a rare personality trait that those girls who’ve consistently been in serious relationships their whole lives possess. Perhaps the Cosmo labs had created a mutated DNA strain that lured smart, funny and successful hotties from miles away. I at least hoped that the article would not use Madonna as an example of who to emulate when browsing for a guy.

But alas I was wrong. Instead, I was treated to a one page enigma trying to draw a distinct line between playing it cool and being aloof. If generations of stitch-n-bitching hasn’t nailed this down, Cosmo, I highly doubt that you’ve suddenly discovered the perfect way to play “the game.” But I’m getting ahead of myself. Before we get to the mind bottling (yes I am one of the 5 people who saw Blades of Glory) conclusion, let’s explore Cosmo’s genius reasoning as to why “Today, it’s not a woman’s money, prestige or beauty that is so enticing, but more a cocktail of personality traits and, yes, a certain bitchiness,” that win over men.

Cosmo Says: “We noticed in December…how baseball play Alex Rodriguez shamelessly followed Madonna around like a little poodle…Clearly, as Madonna proves, being ballsy and comfortable with oneself is a big turn-on.”

Kari Says: Ok, I’ll buy it. I’m down with female empowerment and self confidence. The only problem with Madonna’s “Ballsiness” is that the average guy might find it a little too literal. I mean, most guys in my dating range aren’t major league baseball players desperate for someone to dominate them. Actually, the idea of a 50 year old body builder in a top hat and sequined spandex bossing them around just doesn’t sound too appealing (or so I’m told). So perhaps Madonna isn’t exactly the best role model for this “fierce type of female allure.”

Cosmo Says: “Another part of the mix is appearing as anything but needy…Simply put, showing a bit of ‘I like you, but I could live without you’ attitude is intriguing to men.”

Kari Says: Wait—so it’s bad if I tell him that will die without his love after the second drink he buys me? What if I just explain to him that I’m totally available at any given time that he wants to hang out, just so he knows that he won’t have to worry about rejection? Oh, those are both bad? Well, thank goodness you finally published this article, Cosmo, I don’t know how you didn’t discover this groundbreaking attitude decades earlier.

Cosmo Says: “A third component of this woman’s draw is that she turns herself into a prize worth seeking.”

Kari Says: Hm, where to begin. I guess I’ll start where Cosmo completely devalues women as people and suggests that we objectify ourselves to obtain suitable partners. So much for feminism, the trick to being a worthwhile human being is to be a really great potential girlfriend! And the only way to do so is to make myself into a “prize worth seeking.” Did the scene on Jasmine’s balcony in Aladdin mean nothing to you, Cosmo? And I quote: “ I am not a prize to be won!” Christ, if Disney could get it right…

Cosmo Says: “What isn’t as important as you think? Appearance. Also, don’t employ aloofness—it’s too old school.”

Kari Says: Alright, inner beauty. Nice recovery Cosmo, after the whole trophy GF thing. I’m just a bit confused considering that your advice to let him know that I could “live without him.” Would that be considered aloof? See, there’s the problem with trying to specifically label aloofness and intrigue. Whatevs, I have faith that your final paragraph will lead me unerringly to man-magnetism.

Cosmo Says: “Finally, be aware that while guys like a chase, they ultimately want a reward. By maintaining a you-can’t-touch-this vibe for even a bit too long, you just might drive him away.”

Kari Says: WHAT?!?! That was completely inconclusive! You just cancelled out everything else you told me to do! And moreover, that is totally not a “new attitude.” It’s just some incredibly vague advice. So basically what I have to do to find a decent guy is act like a bitch, then act like Madonna, then be aloof, then sacrifice my worth as a woman, then DON’T be aloof, and most importantly, don’t wait too long to put out or he’ll get bored. Thank you, Cosmo, for once again reaffirming that you know all concerning love, lust and womanhood.

What did you think of “The Bitchy Little Move Men Love?” I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that it bamboozled me. Any other complaints? I personally found it hard to believe that all Marissa Miller does to maintain her Victoria’s Secret bod are those cute little stretches on pg 159. Are you scared to orgasm thanks to pg 140? Let’s hear it.

Seems like these days everything in the news is depressing: Chris Brown’s arrest, the crappy economy, thousands of layoffs (GM just cut 10,000 jobs), the Octuplets mom lying about her financial situation, the A-Rod/Steroid scandal, just to name a few. It’s like all you want to do is down an antire Duncan Heinz cake and cry into your pillow.

But it’s not all bad.  The Westminster Kennel Club 2009 Dog Show (AKA: happiness on a leash) is happening right now. OMFG! Puppies! Yay!!

And if puppies don’t brighten your Tuesday (monster!), I don’t know what will. Get your dose of sunshine, rainbows, and doggy faces right here.

A-Rod and Madonna: just friends?

Europe: The new Ivy League.

Boy George is a FREAK.

Gwen Stefani is just like us! She changes diapers…in public.

Is Neve Campbell coming back?!

Tips for improving your self-control.

E-love is the way to go.

Danger: FACEBOOK VIRUS!!

This made us chuckle.

The economy is, er…um…Go to grad school!

It seems like every hour either Madonna or Guy are coming out with a vicious and, oftentimes, scarring statement about the other.

Guy Ritchie, obviously hurt by his ex wife’s indescretions with A-Rod, has said that Madonna looks like a “granny on stage,” and that having sex with her was like, “hugging a piece of gristle.”

Madonna fired back by calling him “emotionally retarded,” and claiming Guy was “just after my money.”

Just another typical case of post breakup he said/she said.

It doesn’t matter if you are a celebrity or just a college girl scorned by her cheating boyfriend, breakups always cause the gloves to come off and the truth to come out. Especially the most embarassing and hurtful truths. Anyone who knows me knows all about my ex’s issues (“Yeah, cuz sex for 1.5 minutes is GREAT!”), and after my BFF’s particularly painful breakup, the entire campus knows about her ex’s farting issues during sex. Ew.

Anyways, breakups cause pain and pain causes people to resort to just about anything to make themselves feel better. Like talking sh*t. Which Guy and Madonna have mastered.

So I want to know: what are some of the crazier things that have come out after your big breakups? Leave your responses in the comments section below; we wanna know all the juicy deets.

Forget the girl with her heart on her sleeve; wear your uterus on your undies?

Some men are really, really desperate.

Katie Perry eats it on national TV.

Now everyone can look like Heidi Klum. Well, sorta.

Joe the Plumber and Joe Six Pack chat it up.

The greatest college pranks…ever.

Columbia gets erotic.

Travis Barker is out of the hospital!

The most delicious iPhone.

Professor trading cards? It’s real!

“They can’t bear to live with the pretense any longer,” claims “a friend” of the couple to The Sun newspaper. “[Madonna and Guy] can now barely bring themselves to say two words to each other.”

Besides the fact that if a “friend” of mine ever spilled my break-up rumors to a national paper I’d personally make sure they suffered, most of us saw this divorce coming. Sometimes opposites attract, sure, but it seemed pretty clear that Guy Richie just wanted to make Snatch remakes and stay chill while Madonna wanted to work out until she was strong enough to become cyborg-like and finish taking over the world.

I’m sure we’ll hear a song set to a techno beat that details all the tribulations, and see a movie about a sad-sack English bloke who lost his high-powered girl, later on this year.