HAWT

Is there anything more attractive, more sexy, more Carrie Bradshaw than a girl with seasonal allergies? It’s hard to ignore the stares I get from men as I walk down 5th avenue wiping my nose on my shirt sleeve and doing lines of Claritin. And by stares I mean looks of disgust from everyone around me who freaks out every time I sneeze. You wouldn’t believe how frustrating it is to have to corner pedestrians at the crosswalk until they offer up a meaningful “bless you.”

According to Perez Hilton, allergies are worse than ever this year due to extra pollen in the air or mold in my shower or dust collecting knee-deep on my dresser.  I don’t really understand why Obama isn’t stressing pollen issues and reform more, but that’s probably why I’m writing for CollegeCandy and not C-Span (NSFW). All I really know at this point is that I’ve spent the past few weeks feeling so disgusting that even the Nasonex bee turned me down at the bar this weekend. And when a pretentious bee with a fake accent turns you down, that’s saying something. Read More »

Recently, PETA issued a letter to ice cream moguls Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield suggesting that instead of using cow milk for their creamy deliciousness (mmm..Phish Food), Ben & Jerry should consider switching to human breast milk.

Ew, what?

According to PETA’s executive V.P. Tracy Reiman, breast milk is healthier than cow’s milk since “Dairy products have been linked to juvenile diabetes, allergies, constipation, obesity, and prostate and ovarian cancer.”

Riiiiiiiiiight.

And of course, it’s better for the cows. Cows, like humans, only lactate during and after pregnancy so in order to keep the milk a-comin,’ heifers are periodically impregnated every nine months.

So, ok, I’m 100% against animal cruelty, but really? Don’t humans also only lactate during and after pregnancy? Would it not be cruel to therefore periodically impregnate women to produce enough milk for this venture? And where would Ben and Jerry find enough women willing to have their breasts pumped to feed America’s need for Chunky Monkey?

Milk, that is cow’s milk, has been part of human diet since, forever, and I just don’t think that human breast milk is really going to replace it. And let’s be real, who would actually eat ice cream made from human-teet milk? Besides a few freaks out there who are prolly into that…

(Photo from www.missbehavemag.com)