I have never been good at being alone. For me, loneliness = boredom = depression. I like to be surrounded by people, whether they’re friends, family, or my boyfriend. But right now, my boyfriend lives on the other side of the country, my friends are all home for the summer, and my family is hours away. And I’m starting to realize that being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely.

If you’re finding yourself alone a lot lately (maybe you moved to a new city for school/work, just went through a break up, fought with your friends, whatever) here are some tips to fight off the loneliness.

Read
Get lost in a good book. My favorites this summer have been The Time Traveler’s Wife, God-Shaped Hole, and Never Let Me Go. Books can be expensive, so find a library, put in a long list of holds, and make it a goal to read each book before the next one becomes available. Read More »

I will admit it, I know nothing about moving, especially to a city. I’ve lived the last 18 years of my life in a small town in Northern Ontario, where my parents took care of my every need.  I was happy, I was comfortable, and best of all, I knew my way around. The only time I had ever moved was when I was 2 years old, when we moved across the street (really), and I’m pretty sure I slept through most of it.

I grew up in the kind of town where you can’t walk down the street without seeing someone you know, and, of course, everyone knows your business. But as great as that all sounds, the time had come for me to spread my hard-partying, college-going, moving-to-the-city wings.

After being accepted to college just outside of Toronto, I thought “why should I wait until September to move?” So I packed up my things and began my life as an adult. I found a gorgeous 2 bedroom apartment right beside my future school to share with a couple friends – the only catch was that the lease started in July, my friends weren’t moving until September, and I would be on my own for two months. I moved in last week, and not only have I learned the joys of being able to walk around naked, I’ve also learned a thing or two about living on your own for the first time.

1. Save yourself the hassle – pack smartly. I got to my new place and decided to unpack dishes and the things I would need for my kitchen first. While this is a great idea, having zero labels on any boxes has left me completely forkless. Spoons? Knives? The cool egg timer I bought for the “once-in-a-blue-moon” occasions I want hard boiled eggs? Yes. But forks? No clue where they went! And it will take me days to dig through every last box in this mess of an apartment to find them. It may be annoying to organize and label your stuff when you pack, but it is not nearly as annoying as attempting to eat spaghetti with a spoon. Read More »

This past Saturday I did what every 20-something girl does on the weekend: I took myself to see Harry Potter. Alone. I was dying to see the movie and no one would go with me so I took my first step on my path to becoming a cat lady and went to see it by myself.

I spent ten minutes debating whether getting food would make me look like a liberated woman without a care in the world or a pathetic loser who not only sees movies alone but also dines alone. In the end I went with no food because I really can’t justify a ten dollar popcorn, even if it does come with free Raisinets (there’s a reason they have to give these away for free). Also, if I got a drink there would be no one to save my seat while I went to the bathroom. Read More »

There’s nothing like a good old-fashioned American holiday to make you realize how alone you are in this world. Everything’s been going pretty well (according to my new post-college standards of pretty well) and I thought that for the most part I was building up quite the little social network of friends who would make me not feel quite so isolated. We would Gchat at work, grab Pinkberry here and there, perhaps even attend the occasional happy hour.

But apparently that social network of friends was a pure figment of my imagination.

July 4th came out of nowhere and everyone (people I’ve never spoken to) kept asking me what I was planning on doing. On the outside I remained calm and collected and responded with dignity; I’ll figure it out. But on the inside I was panicking like it was Halloween eve and my only available costume was sexy bunny. I would casually bring it up to my “friends” and they all would respond with excitement about boat trips with friends, annual family BBQ’s, and lake houses in states I thought were made-up. Then they would ask me what I was doing and I would mumble something about fireworks and hot dogs and anti-terrorism laws. Read More »

Perusing College Candy’s fancy new cyber-digs this morning, I stumbled on this article, that I somehow missed the first time around. This article and its attendant comments cracked me up, and got me thinking about, of all things, a certain TV show you may have heard of. Ever seen the Sex and the City episode where Carrie admits that when she’s alone, she likes to stand at the kitchen counter eating crackers with jelly on them and reading Vogue, or something like that? And labeled it “secret single behavior’?

I am no devotee of SATC, but I thought that phrase was pretty genius, and started to think about the things I do when I’m totally, gloriously alone.

Now that we’re in the phase of life where living with roommates and/or significant others is par for the course, I find myself missing the weirdest things from time to time. Singing is a big one for me. Singing along to entire musical soundtracks or pop albums or whatever suits my fancy – and I mean headphones-in, top-of-my-lungs singing – while I re-organize my closet for the zillionth time and leave the rest of my room a mess.

Oooooh, or eating a plateful of random, unrelated finger/snack foods for dinner, like cheese with crackers and olives and slices of avocado and frozen spring rolls and Oreo cookies and probably an enormous bottle of coke zero (or wine, depending on the day). Eaten while sitting on the floor and watching Veronica Mars on DVD.  The list goes on. Read More »

We heard him say…he’s the voice of our generation?

New ladies are taking the reigns tonight on SNL.

Mariah wears holiday lingerie on her own.

Lindsay still likes dudes, and wants Sam to be okay with that.

Angelina giving up acting?

So hot right now: zipper booties!l

Will Spencer please STFU?!

Un-effable names for dudes.

All around me, my friends are dropping like flies into the pool of relationships. I suppose when you’re perpetually single, it seems like this is always the case, but trust me; it’s even more the case now. Maybe it’s because we’re all getting older and the time for settling down is dawning on many a resigned party goer in my social circle. Maybe it’s because biological clocks are ticking (I keep hearing from guys that we women have these clocks – I don’t buy it – but maybe some women do?). But whatever it is that is happening to everyone around me…I’m immune to it.

I’m so good at being single that it actually scares me a little bit. I had steady boyfriends until I was 20 and then – suddenly – I just wasn’t interested in it anymore. I didn’t wanna be vulnerable anymore, I didn’t want to be the center of anyone’s life. I didn’t want to have to report back to anyone about what time I’ll be getting in. I didn’t want to have to share my bed anymore. I didn’t care if anyone loved me; I knew my friends and family loved me. I just didn’t…care. Everyone said it would pass, but it didn’t. I’m 24 now and the only boyfriend I’ve had in the last 4 years was a very short-lived long distance relationship, which I think I could only handle because of the distance.

I genuinely like being single. I like living for me. I like not mixing up my goals and plans with someone else’s. I like waking up alone. I like getting up and traveling to whatever city I want, at any time, without even thinking to discuss it with someone else. I love single life. Doesn’t anyone else?

(photo from: morningside8.com)

Dear Tuffy,

So lets see if you can answer this one. I’m pretty much a smart girl, so i know what my problem is. The only thing is i am not quite sure if i can ever get rid of it.

I am 22 years old and I have no escape in college. I have decent grades and all…but I think thats it. I have no real friends, so I find myself utterly alone. I’m introverted so theres no chance to just act out in public. Activities by myself are just not appealing (eg.hobbies). Guys are also lost cause, I cannot seem to find one & when I do find one to be friends with, all they want is to get with me.

I find myself accepting this but im not sure i want to. How would i change this? It hurts to be alone.

~Andrea

Dear Andrea,

Girl, I’m gonna be straight with you: That sucks.

Like you said, you already know what the problem is. So, look, that’s a definite step closer.

Let’s deal with this one part at a time, okay? Read More »

I have said before that I have no problem with my single status, but that doesn’t mean that I am ready to spend the rest of my life that way. I love the companionship and comfort that comes with a relationship, the warm fuzzy feelings, the knowledge that someone out there finds you completely perfect.

Recently, as I lay on my couch watching yet another What Not To Wear rerun, I realized that I am finally ready for something more than weeknights alone in my apartment and weekends spent catching up on my sleep. I don’t know if I necessarily want to find the man I am going to marry, but I have had enough time to figure out who I am as a single woman (boring) and want to get out and meet some new people.

So, I began hitting the dating scene (internet and all). I approached people, emailed people and began talking with some really great guys. I was all over it. And then, as things began to move forward and the guys showed interest back, I started to freak out. Read More »

Rivers Cuomo: ‘Blast Off’

‘Blast Off’ is the first single from the Weezer frontman’s solo debut Alone. Download it now.