A new season of Teen Mom (aka Teen Mom 2) is starting January 11th at 10 p.m. Some of you, who are obviously living under a rock, don’t know what Teen Mom is, and some of you (like me) can’t wait until it pops up on the TV schedule so you can record it!  This season is bringing four new girls in from Sixteen and Pregnant which means: new drama, new plot lines and new adorable babies. And I don’t know about you, but I’m a little tired of Amber and all of her issues.

With shows like The Secret Life of the American Teenager, and movies revolving around a teenage pregnancy pact, it’s sometimes hard to stop and realize that teenage pregnancy is not something to take lightly. Enter MTV, with hit series, Teen Mom. It follows four of the original teenagers from 16 and Pregnant. The series centers around four teens who are dealing with balancing motherhood, a social life, and school.

On this show, we see the girls struggle to adapt their old lifestyles and focus their priorities. It’s an eye opener for the people watching, by deglamorizing teen pregnancy and showing everything they gave up. These four teenagers allow us to see into their lives, and we devour it as if it were a plot line from As The World Turns. All because we feed on the drama that is reality TV. I mean why else would it be so popular? Read More »

Last time, Heather and the exes tore through the house and stupid Megan finally went home.

Morning: The final four + Heather and Destiney’s hat remain and they all depart for Vegas in a learjet. I forgot that they did the Vegas thing during the first cycle of this show. No shock that they are staying at the Hard Rock. Good thing that everyone’s over 21.

Daisy’s neck tattoos are super prominent today. The girls suite has a table full of presents – what, no stripper pole?

Bret-o-gram – Jessica and Destiney have to change into some golf outfits and meet Bret downstairs. What a boring date.

Heather decides that they need to 80s it up. Seriously? Oh, she’s not serious. Ha. Even she knows that the 80s are out. They look re-f*cking-diculous. Read More »

Our fearless Bachelor is dealing with a pretty lean steak filled with women this time around. The most he could do last night was crush little orphan Amber’s dreams of marrying him barefoot, in a seaside ceremony (you just KNOW he’s gonna have one of those weddings).

I felt bad for Amber and the important social welfare issues her story raised (child endangerment, rape of a minor, pedophilia), but where are the crazies this season? I want to see someone go off the wall and start biting. These girls are all wayyyyy too normal.

Wait. No they’re not. They’re looking for “love” on The Bachelor! There MUST be something wrong with them, we just have to look hard and carefully. Fine. I like a challenge. Read More »

Watching The Bachelor makes me really glad I’m not on the show because I would never want to watch myself kiss anyone. People look ridiculous when they kiss. Little Amber looked way constipated. Let it go, girl! The Officer/Gentleman is kissing you in a hot tub! Give him some tongue! Live a little.

My only theory is that Amber, and all the other girls, for that matter, have crushes on one of the cameramen and feels weird kissing Andy in front of him. People never think about the cameramen on these shows, but you gotta hedge a bet that they get around. I mean, if I had the choice between a manicured, chivalrous Brooks Brothers-wearing guy driving around in ABC-rented Lamborghinis and the greasy, schlumpy dude behind the camera (who basically controls how thin I look on T.V.), well, the choice is clear.

That said, what kind of name is Bevin, and since when do 28-year-olds cry about a sprained ankle, let alone wear stilettos with one? Not sexy. Also, skiing? Not sexy. Tessa? Not sexy. I said it. I’m sorry.

Next week on The Bachelor: a comedy of extreme sports and forced altruism. Only the strong survive.