When I get back to school after spring break it is the end. In fact many middle aged people have told me (with their usual unsolicited advice) more recently than usual that college was the best four years of their lives and after they graduated it was all downhill from there. Then after dispensing their advice and patting my head, they coughed up a lung, because that’s what old people do.

Now I’ve done some math and considering some of these people are in their 50’s now, the “downhill from there” means the last 30+ years of their lives have been nothing but sorrow, disaster, and failure. The most promising part of their day now is their daily dose of Activia yogurt (people over 40 can’t eat solid foods…clinically proven) and reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond.

So with those thoughts in mind my friends and I created a bucket list with everything we want to do before we graduate. We crossed off the easy stuff first. Anything involving stealing, obscenity, or a combination of the two was completed within the first week. But now we are left with the trickier things.

Number 14: Fall in love. It was so easy to write down and yet it’s so hard to accomplish. Riddle me that.

Number 3: Actually watch The Bucket List and decide who of our friends is Morgan Freeman and who is Jack Nicholson. I’ve been putting that one off since I know I’ll get assigned to be the Jack Nicholson of the bunch.

Number 7: Bring a murdered ghost back through a seance and solve the mystery of their death. This one has so much red tape I don’t even know where to begin. First of all, it’s already been done in Now and Then and they had a better soundtrack to do it. Second, we can’t agree on who to bring back (I voted for Amelia Earhart). Thirdly, no one wants to do it in their own apartment in case the ghost lingers. Read More »