I’ve studied abroad.  But not really.  If you are currently studying abroad, or plan to in the future, I can assure you that my overseas experience was a bit different.  I began my college experience in London, rather than waiting until Junior year to try the whole passport-and-a-long-ass-flight routine.  Whenever I say, “I spent a year in London,” (I transferred during sophomore year), people assume I studied abroad.  I did not.

At my school, Americans who were enrolled in degree programs were labelled “Degree Students,” while Americans who were specifically there for a semester or two were labelled “Study Abroads.”  So, while I was an American sewing my wild oats just like you might be, there were some major differences.  I moved to the UK when I was 18, fresh out of high school.  I’d never had a keg party experience, I’d never lived in a dry dorm, and I’d never been to a major college sporting event.  Though I wasn’t always on my best behavior, my best friends were from all over the world, and I could see through their eyes how Americans earned bad raps as being obnoxious, immature, and annoying.  Make the most of your experience. Don’t make these mistakes.

1.  Do Know That Your Accent Says It All.

Have you ever heard an English person swear? I don’t care how “sodding” pissed off they are, it sounds so much nicer than an American politely asking, “Whaat tye-am is etttt?”  Most natives of whatever country you’re in won’t be instantly appalled by your accent, but they will know approximately where you hail from.

2. Don’t Get Wasted and Yell Things That Would Be Funny at Home.

As I just stated, your accent gives you away.  Which can work to your advantage… or not.  Screaming your school’s sports chant– P-I-T-T Let’s Go Pitt!– is not only loud and obnoxious, but do you really think the residents of Queensland, Australia give a f*** about the University of Pittsburgh?  Singing bar songs (American or otherwise) will also make everyone, including fellow Americans, want to punch you in the face.

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It’s rainy. It’s windy. You haven’t seen sunlight in days, you didn’t do so hot on today’s pop quiz, and you really don’t feel like reading about the Enlightenment for history class. What better way to beat the dreariness and procrastinate than by having a comedy movie marathon to boost your spirits and make you laugh?

When fall settles in and it’s not as much fun to walk through campus on a chilly, dismal day, grab a bunch of kids from your hall, pop some warm, buttery popcorn, and veg out in flannel pj’s and sweats. You’ll feel better, you’ll have fun, and best of all, these movies sure as hell beat anything that sprung from the Enlightenment! Read More »

I’ve never been to Amsterdam, but even I know all about the Red Light district there. Drugs! Sex!

It is like Disney World, but for grownups…who like drugs and sex.

Pretty much heaven on earth. But apparently the Netherlands’ government doesn’t agree. Even though it brings in big tourism bucks, Netherlands officials want to put an end to prostitution. (Total buzzkill!) And their plan to end it is an interesting one….

“The city is offering prostitutes ‘credits’ for good behavior that can be used to buy designer clothes or furniture. The vouchers, which the Dutch media has mockingly dubbed “whore miles,” will be awarded for every step sex workers take to get out of the lifestyle.“

I wonder how that works: 50 points for not hanging out in windows? 400 points for throwing away the see-through plastic heels? 1,000 points for not accepting money for a blowjob? Read More »