Well, I found him. And I tried it.

Any guide to anal sex (like this one) tells you to start small (i.e. with a finger) and be generous with the lubrication. So we did, and it didn’t hurt like I expected, but it was a really strange feeling, kind of like the feeling you get when you have to go to the bathroom but can’t find a toilet (not that girls poop, of coarse!).  Since the finger didn’t hurt, we decided to move on to the real thing. The real thing, however, did hurt (like HELL), and we barely got anywhere before I called an end to it.

The experience confirmed what I’ve always suspected: anal sex is something boys enjoy much more than girls. I can’t speak for all girls (one of my best friends claims she can orgasm from it), but I just don’t see how it would be pleasurable. Not that I’m swearing off anal forever, but I definitely think I need a lot more prep-time (both physically and mentally) before attempting to go all the way again. I’m sure some day it’s something I’ll be able to tolerate, but can’t expect to ever enjoy it, at least not the way I enjoy sex. I would enjoy the fact that I’m making the man I love happy, but I highly doubt there will ever be an orgasm in it for me.

This doesn’t mean I would ever discourage anyone from trying it. After all, how do you know if you like something before you try it for yourself? Everyone has different preferences, and some women may really enjoy anal, at least this article on AskMen.com claims they do. They say: Women love anal sex because it can feel absolutely incredible. It’s different in sensation and it doesn’t feel like anything else she may have felt before — it’s deep inside, it’s not her clitoris and is not in her vagina, but feels strangely like both in a sort of mixed-up combination in another part of her body.

Now, I’m not fully convinced the guys at AskMen aren’t pushing an agenda of their own (“Come on honey, this article says you’ll love it!”), but hey, if there is a possibility anal sex could feel like they’re describing, maybe it is worth pushing past the initial discomfort to find out.

Even you don’t orgasm from it, I’m sure it’ll make your partner happy. Guys’ obsession with anal seems to keep growing. It provides a different, tighter sensation and has the lure of a forbidden fruit – how can you expect them not to want to try it? So, as long as it’s not painful for you, why not give it a go once or twice for your man’s sake? Maybe you’ll get something special in return…

Have you ever had anal sex? What was your experience like?

Many women see their backdoor as a one-way street, so to speak. To them, anal sex is more laughable than sexy and it’s understandable that they should feel that way–after all, what has popular culture told us about anal sex? That it’s funny, disgusting, painful, or the dangerous means of a deviant lifestyle.

I will concede that anal sex is funny at times, but only so much as sex as a whole is funny (which it really should be). Also, we as a society seem to need to make light of the things that make us uncomfortable, and anal sex is still very taboo culturally because of widespread misinformation and closed minds.

For instance, many people still associate anal sex with homosexuality and the AIDS epidemic, and let their ignorance about the lifestyle inform their ideas about the nature of the act. Granted, some studies have shown that sexually transmitted diseases are more easily spread through anal sex, but they are even more easily preventable if the sex is practiced safely.

For all its perceived perversion, anal sex seems to be growing in popularity. In a 2005 study by the Center for Disease Control, they found that 34% of men and 32% of women between the ages of 22-24 have anal sex with the opposite sex, up from 20% in 1990. The Guide to Getting it On also reports that 30-40% of all heterosexual couples in this country have tried anal intercourse, with up to half of these continuing to do it on an occasional basis.

If you do decide to partake in anal sex, make sure you are living in a state that allows you to do so. Despite a 2003 decision by the US Supreme Court that sodomy laws were unconstitutional, 12 states (including my own state of Florida…yeah, all this information I’m offering in part two is totally anecdotal…) have laws banning outright or regulating who can have anal sex and with whom.

In fact, although the so-called sodomy law is mostly associated with anal sex, it’s implied that what is really outlawed is sexual activity that cannot lead to procreation. So, get your hands out of your pants, because that means no masturbation and, that’s right, no oral sex.

When put in those terms, I’m betting that not even the senators who voted in these laws would be able to follow them. It’s another sad example of the government or people in power trying to govern our sexuality and subvert the rights inherent to us as American citizens.

Although America isn’t the only country to have highly flawed ideas about sexuality: in 70 of 195 countries in the world consensual homosexual sex is illegal. The good news, however, is that the number of these laws are on the decline.

One adult having consensual anal sex with another only hurts other people so far as it may offend their delicate sensibilities. And they have just as much right to be offended as I have a right to have sex however I damn well please.

But I live in Florida, which means my options are somewhat limited.