I know, giving is just as important as receiving. Sex is about all parties involved, and I absolutely believe that no one should feel deprived of pleasure after a hook up. But everyone has their limits, their deal breakers, their things that they’re just not that into. And I think it’s just as important to acknowledge that, and to a) accept it or b) move on to the next.

I have a friend whose boyfriend is into anal. Not in an annoying, begs for it nonstop kind of way (he never even initiates it), but it is something that he enjoys doing. So she consents to it. They use lube and start slow and are generally pretty responsible about it, but it’s not her cup of tea. She finds it pretty excruciating, only derives a nominal amount of pleasure from it, and doesn’t feel great after the fact. But she has made it a resolution to get better and try to enjoy it more, for her boyfriend’s sake. Perhaps I’m more selfish than I like to think I am, but  I cannot jump on board with her resolution because it seems to me she has perfectly valid reasons to not want to engage in anal, and I fail to see the point in coercing herself into enjoying it more than she does. Read More »

I’ve always been very hesitant to try anal sex. After all, that’s where poop comes out! And I always heard that it hurt like hell. So, while I knew I would try it at some point (I believe in trying everything at least once) I had no problem putting it off. I decided to wait until I was with someone I knew would love me even if I pulled a Zack-and-Miri and pooped all over them.

Well, I found him. And I tried it.

Any guide to anal sex (like this one) tells you to start small (i.e. with a finger) and be generous with the lubrication. So we did, and it didn’t hurt like I expected, but it was a really strange feeling, kind of like the feeling you get when you have to go to the bathroom but can’t find a toilet (not that girls poop, of coarse!).  Since the finger didn’t hurt, we decided to move on to the real thing. The real thing, however, did hurt (like HELL), and we barely got anywhere before I called an end to it.

The experience confirmed what I’ve always suspected: anal sex is something boys enjoy much more than girls. I can’t speak for all girls (one of my best friends claims she can orgasm from it), but I just don’t see how it would be pleasurable. Not that I’m swearing off anal forever, but I definitely think I need a lot more prep-time (both physically and mentally) before attempting to go all the way again. I’m sure some day it’s something I’ll be able to tolerate, but can’t expect to ever enjoy it, at least not the way I enjoy sex. I would enjoy the fact that I’m making the man I love happy, but I highly doubt there will ever be an orgasm in it for me. Read More »

I’m just gonna say it, I’m good in bed. I might be a little arrogant about it, but a big part of good sex is confidence, so I think it’s OK to be a bit smug. A lot of girls are insecure about their performance in the bedroom, but there’s really no reason to be. Being good in bed is much simpler then you think. Here are some tips from an expert:

Enjoy Yourself. If it’s good for you, it’ll be good for your partner. Knowing what you like and how to ask for it takes the stress of figuring it out off your partner so you’re both free to relax and enjoy. Don’t know what you like? Start masturbating.

Try New Things. It’s always good to break the routine. Trying new positions, places, toys, etc. might help you both discover a new favorite.

Be Dirty. Don’t hold back and don’t worry about your manners. Read More »

Got a question for the Tuffster? Email her at tuffyluv@collegecandy.com to be featured in her weekly column! ASK ASK ASK!!!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Continuing your theme of lists from last week– what are the different kinds of sex toys?

Thanks!!

BunnyRabbit Read More »

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