Let’s all just admit it: bad sexual chemistry makes a bad relationship.

Andy Samberg and Emma Stone are joining 30 Rock.

The newest nail trend is stealing the limelight.

25 facts about exorcism movies. I’m already terrified.

Natalie Portman is super-human and always looks good.

Kelly Rowland got Babyonce, Blue Ivy, a Bob Marley onesie to celebrate her birth.

Apparently, single ladies love Mitt Romney only for his looks.

A celebration of individuality.

Apparently, Emma Watson will be playing Belle from the Beauty and the Beast in an upcoming adaptation by Guillermo del Toro.

Image via Artur Kurjan/Shutterstock. 

Lessons we can learn from our favorite heroines

Who’s the bigger “it” girl: Emma Stone or Olivia Wilde?

Andy Samberg is Chief Shark Officer

Casey Anthony was offered how much to pose nude???

RiRi is back to brunette

Tips for happier, healthier conversations

Great way to get your weekend shopping in

Why is Olivia not showing her nips this time?

Enrique is not packing it

Besides Lindsay Lohan being Lindsay Lohan and a few other tidbits of news, celebrity gossip was pretty slow this week. Maybe all the stars are getting ready for the holidays, or maybe they needed a break after last week’s divorce-a-thon, but either way, I hope they do something more interesting next week. I need more scandal!

Getting The Gift You’ve Been Asking For Christmas Morning

1. Lindsay Lohan got in a fight. Rehab is obviously working for our girl Lindsay – earlier this week, she was in danger of being charged with criminal battery coming back from the bar with some friends. But don’t worry, apparently she was only drinking shirley temples (Suure she was Dina). Allegedly, she got in a little bit of a physical fight with a staffer from the Betty Ford Clinic, who accused her of “hand-to-hand” battery. But don’t worry – Linds has tons of excuses up her sleeve. We’re pretty sure she’ll get out of this one just like everything else.

2. Chris Brown completed his domestic violence class. Chris Brown tweeted a picture of his certificate of completion for the domestic violence class he was forced to go to after the Rihanna incident. I know he probably thought that his fans would be proud of him, but I think all it really did was remind people what happened and made them kind of mad. So, maybe not the best idea to bring up the touchy subject on Twitter…

3. Ozzy Osbourne is tired of Lady Gaga. The Prince of Darkness told Us Weekly exactly how he feels about Lady Gaga: he thinks she’s becoming a little bit too over-exposed. He says she’s over-doing it, and she’s gong to lose the “specialness” that she is – adding that he does think she could be a legend like Madonna one day if she stops acting out so much. So, basically, the man who ate a bat on stage thinks Lady Gaga needs to tone it down. I mean, after she stepped out in Paris wearing no pants and only fishnet stockings this week – I might agree.

4. D.J. Pauly D got his own MTV spin-off! I have never found myself attracted to a guy who uses more hair gel then I could in two years – until the second season of Jersey Shore. Pauly D totally charmed me and almost every other girl watching with his catchy and hysterical phrases and his adorable bromance with Vinny. I can’t help but be totally excited about this inevitably ridiculous show. Supposedly it’s going to be called ‘Pauly’s World’ and will be about his life and him hanging out with his friends. Jersey Shore fans, this is not something that can be missed.

5. Bye, bye Spider-Man on Broadway. The Spider-Man play on Broadway that was not such a big hit was stopped this week to increase safety measures after one of the actors fell over 30 feet from a cable wire that snapped. That’s pretty terrifying – he was rushed to the hospitals and producers promised to make the set more safe.

A Fruitcake for Christmas Breakfast

1. The Lonely Island reminded us of why we love sex. I’m a huge fan of The Lonely Island and didn’t think it could get any funnier or sillier then ‘I’m On a Boat’, ‘Jizz In My Pants’ or ‘Dick In a Box’ – but ‘I Love Sex’ is pretty freaking funny. Andy Samberg and co-star Jorma Taccone sing about why sex is so great (“It felt so good when I did it with my penis”) along with Akon in an annoyingly catchy tune. Blake Lively and Jessica Alba make cameos that make the video that much better. Watch it, and try to tell me you didn’t kind of want to have sex right after…

2. Ross – uh, I mean David Schwimmer – is expecting his first kid. I just have to say this – I know David Schwimmer has been in other things after Friends, but he will always be Ross Geller to me. Anyway. Him and his wife Zoe Buckman are expecting their first baby, so congrats to them! We hope she doesn’t get another weird Hollywood baby name.

3. Megan Fox was photographed in a bikini and the Internet went crazy. Horny male celeb bloggers everywhere freaked out when pictures of Megan Fox in a bikini were taken this week. I just have to say, and I know some of you have to agree, girlfriend got way too skinny! Megan is gorgeous, there’s no denying that, and she already had an amazing body – there was no need for improvement. Please don’t lose anymore weight.

4. Heidi Montag is demanding attention – again. Heidi appeared on the cover of Life & Style this week to show off her plastic surgery scars and to whine about how much she regrets them. Um… does anyone care? She got 10 surgeries in ONE DAY just so she could land a few magazine covers and now she wants us to feel sorry for her? She says she feels like ‘Frankenstein’ now – which is what everyone else has been saying for months. Heidi, I have no sympathy for you.

5. Brett Favre wanted Jenn Sterger to masturbate for him on video. It’s not clear if Jenn Sterger actually MADE the video, but she wants us to know about it anyway.

There are only two more nights of Hanukkah. Sad. If you’re one of the lucky girls out there who still gets a sick present for every one of the 8 (crazy) nights, kudos to you. Bitch. If you’re like us here at CollegeCandy, you got a Starbucks gift card from your grandpa for $18 and a “what? I don’t do enough for you all year?” guilt trip from your mom.

For those of you who fall into the latter category, don’t fret; CollegeCandy’s got your back. We’ve still got two Hanukkah hotties to go. Because at the end of the day, as your Hanukkah candles are burning low and dripping wax all over your desk, flipping through pictures of Jake Gyllenhaal’s six-pack, Drake’s tasty mug, Zach Braff’s adorableness, Mark Salling’s general hotness, Jason Segel’s not-so-full frontal and Daniel Radcliffe’s across-the-pond sexiness, is way better than unwrapping a new Michael Kors watch.

Andy Samburg is the kind of Jew that gives us faith. Faith that Jewish guys who are taller than 5’6 exist. Faith that the stereotypical Jew can be hot. Faith that there are Jewish boys who don’t become doctors, lawyers or investment bankers. He’s like a dream come true and our enormous crush on this SNL funny man is borderline inappropriate.

How many guys can pull of that cute side-smile while still rocking that I-just-rolled-out-of-bed-but-I-can-still-wear-a-tie look?  How many guys can share the screen with Justin Timberlake….and steal the show!? The boy can do no wrong. Hell, Andy could give me a d*ck in a box for Hanukkah and I’d write him a thank you note.

Who can forget Andy Samberg’s brilliant music video for Jizz in My Pants? I know that song was stuck in my head for months. Well, two hilarious ladies recently made their own version for the issues that we have to deal with on a daily basis. And it might even be better than the original. Enjoy!

A summary of Cosmo magazine.

Lindsay Lohan is not preggers. Right?

So, who will be at the MTV awards?

SATC sequel secrets revealed!

Sales: a girl’s best frenemy.

Spring fashion hits the high seas.

JT and Andy Samberg love moms.

The secrets of The Biggest Loser!

Have you been to a naked party?

Happy 24th, Audrina Partridge!

You may want to reconsider those Big Macs.

Lohan’s arrest warrent recalled.

Gossip Girl, we miss you!!

Oh lord, I did NOT need to see that, Brooke Hogan!

Pete Wentz drinks his pee pee.

Filing your taxes isn’t so hard.

The most cliche lines for a breakup.

That Lady Gaga is talented.

Things are getting worse for Jessica Simpson.

Do Angie’s lips make her hotter?

Forget the Uggs. These boots have a purpose.

But what would you say if you actually did get to meet the guy in question? Would you collapse in disbelief?  Turn on the charm? Flirt his pants off?  Make a total fool of yourself?

Well, in the case of this week’s lusty lad–Andy Samberg–I actually did get to meet him. On my birthday, no less! It was freshman year and I had gone out to dinner with some friends downtown. We were about to board the subway back to campus when one of my girls started chatting up two guys standing next to us.

Being the super-suave freshman I was, I thought they were Fordham students I hadn’t met yet.  So I walked right up to the cuties and said, “Hey! Wanna come back to my room? It’s my birthday!” As soon as the words left my lips, I realized the guys were none other than Andy Samberg and Akiva Shaffer (2/3 of the comedy trio The Lonely Island, along Jorma Taccone), and they were both looking at me like I had asked them if they wanted to eat liver and onions. Also, they probably thought I was a huge slut.

“Uh, happy birthday, but we’re on our way home from work,” mumbled Andy. He smiled to show his kind (and oh so sexy) benevolence on mere mortals like myself.

“Oh, uhhh, I thought you might have been someone who went to my school. I really love your work on SNL,” I stammered. Luckily, a subway arrived at that moment and I dashed away, blushing madly from embarrassment and attraction.

So, for this week’s column, I would like to formally apologize to Andy, and explain to him what I would have said had I not been a clueless freshman:

Andy, you had me at “Chronic-WHAT-cles of Narnia.” I already bought your new CD, “Incredibad,” and I know all the words to “I’m on a Boat.” You have single-handedly saved SNL from the depths of un-funny with your hilarious and often-times erotic digital shorts – and what could be more effable than that? And how could I possibly resist you when you’re constantly jizzing in your pants, and offering me your dick in a box for Christmas?

It sounds like you’re in need of a serious eff, and there’s nothing I like more than a randy comedian.  How about we hit up Magnolia’s, mack on some cupcakes, and head back to your pad to eff?

Now that’s ka-blamo!

No matter how much money or pink bunny costumes Hef gave her, Holly Madison wants to be with a baby-makin’ machine.

What former A-list rockstar is going blind?

The little boy and the lobster – cuteness that cannot be exaggerated.

Think twice before you post those drunk photos of yourself on Facebook.

Target is making it possible for us to dress like Michelle Obama.

This is possibly the most disgusting-looking cocktail on the planet.

This site makes us want to spend the day watching football on the couch.  Sports are cool!

9 shameless celebrity election videos

Uhhh, these people might have taken their Halloween decorations a little too far.

Ben Kweller has seen dead people.

We love Ashley Tisdale’s new dark hairdo!

Play nice boys! Mark Wahlberg wants to knock out Andy Samberg.