Got a question for Tuffarella? Email her at tuffyluv@collegecandy.com to be featured in her weekly column!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

After watching a super scary PETA video, I can’t look in my closet anymore without picturing dead animal carcasses. I need places to buy vegan clothes. And shoes if you can. And fast. I can’t handle getting nauseous when I get dressed anymore.

Colleen Read More »

So you’ve got the Boyfriend Blues. He doesn’t call when you want him to. He doesn’t respond to your texts. You go out of your way to cook him dinner, or help him study for his calc exam, and he barely mumbles a “thanks.” What a jerk, right?

Well, be glad he’s not this guy.

This past Wednesday, a Bronx man sunk to the lowest of douchebaggery lows when he stabbed his newlywed wife’s dog to death after an argument. Brian McCafferty, 28, had only been married to Jeanine Tulimero for a month when they broke out in an argument over McCafferty’s drinking early Wednesday morning. Tulimero became so upset, she left the apartment, only to return 45 minutes later to find her precious beagle, Jerry, stabbed to death.

Neighbors who heard the argument said they heard the puppy yelping and squealing shortly after the door slammed behind Tulimero. After police found a bloody knife inside the apartment, they arrested McCafferty on charges of criminal possession of a weapon, criminal mischief, animal cruelty and reckless endangerment.

There is absolutely no excuse for hurting a defenseless, harmless puppy. And the maliciousness with which this jerkoff maimed poor Jerry is despicable. While not all fellas are winners, Brian McCafferty is a grade-A LOSER with a capital L.

So here’s the sitch: John “I’m not dead yet” McCain likened Barack “Too Sexy for this presidency” Obama to Paris Hilton in one of his feeble attempts to get attention, or you know, “campaign,” which is pretty funny considering that McCain is married to a character who is very similar to Hilton. You know, blonde, looks like a leather handbag, is an heiress to a shit-ton of money but doesn’t really contribute other than being “umm, kinda good looking?”

I digress.

Anyway, the democrats got all pissy and whiney about the ad and made some comments that didn’t do anything to help the situation, but I’m sure they’re still whining about it, not being productive, you know, the usual. I didn’t really see the problem with the ad, mainly because I was psyched about Paris Hilton being president.

I’m not really wild about either candidate, so I’m going to have to say we all write-in Paris Hilton for president for 2008. Mostly, because who couldn’t do a better job than what’s his name? Also, because she would hopefully implement some great policies that would bring this country out of it’s depressing state.

She’s a perfect representative for America. She has tons of super sweet connections with people, even if the majority of her network is people she’s given blow jobs to. She’s concerned with appearances and does not approve of anything “not hot,” like terrorism, hate crimes, animal cruelty and flannel. She doesn’t seem to care about either the Democrat or Republican party, but she does party, thus making her the perfect middle ground this country needs. Read More »

I love animals. I always have. I had dogs, rabbits, birds, and fish growing up. Never for one moment have I ever thought that animals aren’t ‘alive’. Never for one moment have I thought that they can’t feel. And I still eat meat.

I have absolutely nothing against vegetarians. Many of my friends are vegetarians and, in fact, I was a vegetarian myself for a couple of years in high school. However, I H-A-T-E being talked down to by the occasional vegetarian/vegan who comes my way and feels it’s his or her duty to “inform” me of anything related to the subject matter. I hate it almost as much as I hate religious people who feel the need to damn me to Hell via conversation. I almost hate it as much as the smell of burnt hair. I hate it almost as much as I hate Daisy from Rock of Love 2.

Why all of the hate?

Because it’s not anyone’s place to tell me what to eat. Read More »