I have been told I’m a team leader. I have been told that I am a social butterfly and a friend maker. I have been told that my glass is always half full. So why, oh why, do I despise the overly enthusiastic so very much?

I’ve noticed this about myself since elementary school. I just can’t be THAT excited ALL of the time. But some people can be.

You know the type…

She shows up to class early on the first day and sits in the front row. She asks irrelevant questions and smiles as if she’s just won Miss America. She screeches when she sees a little dog on the street and most sentences are prefaced by the phrase:

“Ohhhhhhh Myyyyyyyyy Goddddddd!!”.

She’s chipper. And more or less, she’s a good person. I mean, these kinds of people have never really crossed me, per se. They don’t steal, they don’t hit old ladies, nor do they instigate drama. The only thing I suppose they do wrong is….well…drive me f*cking nuts.

I’m not an antisocial creep. I’m not an unhappy person. In fact, I’m pretty happy go lucky! So why do these overly enthusiastic people me make want to kick and scream?

And is anyone else out there with me?

Trust me, I am a girly girl. My makeup drawer is bigger than my sock drawer, I check my reflection in every mirror (or window) I pass, and nothing makes me smile like a brand new pair of shoes. But that doesn’t mean I can’t hate girls…right?

Well, not hate, necessarily. More like find things about them that just make me embarrassed to be a girl and want to be one of the guys. I have most recently realized these feelings of disdain while watching back to back episodes of My Super Sweet 16 and The Hills. And spending the past week hanging out with a big group of frat-tastic boys.

1. Girls are catty – when we are put in a room together we will find anything (and I mean anything) to argue about. Or, a few of us will find a corner and separate ourselves from the rest of the group in order to talk badly about the others. When guys are put in a room they watch tv or play video games. They fart. They laugh. They have a good time.

2. Girls won’t let anyone kiss/date/talk to anyone they have ever kissed/dated/talked to – It doesn’t matter if it was last week or in second grade; if she dated him, you can’t go near him. And if you do? Watch your back, bitch. Guys, on the other hand, really couldn’t care less. In fact, many like when they “share” a girl so they can compare stories.

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It’s official – Paris Hilton is out of jail after a less than 72 hour stint. Also, and quite sadly, it proves that celebrities can get away with ANYTHING if they put their money to it…i mean mind…my bad Dr. Freud.The reason for the early release? Last time I checked, telling everyone “That’s hot!” was not grounds for early release. OH NO, Paris Hilton was released due to over-crowding. Hate to be melodramatic, but not since the freeing of Barabbas has their been such a tragic miscarriage of justice.

Look – I am not saying we hang her, but little primadona trust-fund babies need to learn than the world has consequences. We are not only doing them a disservice, but every American that pays taxes and relies on the justice system has just been fisted by the LA judicial system. I am sure they are excited about the new Hilton Municipal Recreation Center that her Mommy and Daddy will be building for LA in 5 months, but overcrowding??? SHE HAD A PRIVATE CELL FOR F*&^SAKE! Was it too small for her and her liver?

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