I'm not listening! I can't hear you!

I’m a huge fan of lists. Not to-do lists or grocery lists or my “list” (you know which one I’m talking about), but lists of things with bold faced sections that I can read through quickly and have a little chuckle. Or lists where I can vent my pent up frustration that I have been holding onto for years in hopes that the people at the root of that frustration will see the list, change their ways and make my life a whole lot more pleasant.

And that is what’s happening here. There are some people out there – lots of them – who say some pretty annoying stuff, so this week I’m gonna lay out the 10 most annoying phrases of all time. If you say any of these things, please stop. If you constantly say them all, please never come near me. Especially if I’m holding anything sharp.

10. “Just Sayin’”
End every sentence with this, really. Like I didn’t know you were saying something.

9. “On the real”
No. No. Not on the real. It’s been real, “on the real”. For real

8. “What the hey”
So cheesy, Chester Cheeto can’t even deal.

7. “Catch ya on the flip flop”
What does this even mean? Other than the obvious: don’t be my friend. Read More »

Want your question answered by La Tuff?! Email her your question at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com to be featured in her weekly column!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I have this friend who will NOT STOP BOTHERING ME! She’s really nice and I mean I know she means well but it’s like every time I look at my phone I have a text message or a voicemail from her. I’m so sick of it. And the most annoying part of it is I’ll call her back and she doesn’t have anything to say! She just “wanted to say hi” and then it’s like well I’m busy I have a life so can we talk when we see each other?! But now it’s to the point where I don’t even want to hang out with her.

It sucks because we’ve been friends since junior high (I just finished my freshman year of college), but I don’t know if it’s her or me but she’s really gotten annoying. I was away at State so I don’t know maybe I changed and she didn’t?

Anyway, help, please. I don’t want to lose her as a friend, but I don’t know how much more I can take.

Thanks, Tuffy!

Annoyed Read More »

Big effing deal, you have a boyfriend. The rest of the world really doesn’t need to know how much you love each other, how much it hurts to wait five minutes between tonsil-hockey sessions, or… well, how much you’ve got him whipped. Sure, I’ve been in love before, but in a watch-the-sunrise-over-bong-rips kinda way, not a need-to-keep-my-hand-on-your-ass-to-claim-my-territory kinda way. Here are some of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to coupling up.

1. Making out in totally non-romantic places.

If I see the two of you pawing each other at the Trevi Fountain in Italy, I’ll forgive you. Now THAT is romantic. But seriously – to the couple who gets on the dirty, overcrowded subway and feels the need to look into each other’s eyes, whisper sweet nothings, and make out for all of three stops – save it. Same for the couple who starts going at it in the checkout line at Rite-Aid. Unless you’re buying condoms, why are you so worked up already? And if you are buying condoms, then save it for the bedroom.

2. Sharing a calendar.

Just because you’re a couple doesn’t mean you can’t be individuals. I hate the girl who’s there for you every time… as long as she’s single. Once the “relationship” label gets slapped on some people, they have to synchronize their scheds, and like, can’t even go to the bathroom without making sure it won’t disrupt Date Night (the third one this week). It’s great when a girl can bring her boyfriend out with her friends, and vice versa, but if it’s a “Girls’ Night” and Henry’s trailing behind… it’s effing annoying. Read More »

[It doesn’t matter what school you go to, what state it is in, how big it is, whether it is public or private, all girls or coed…there are experiences that all college students share.No matter how crazy you think your personal situation is, it is not just you. So, let’s bring it all out in the open. Right here. Because you are not alone - we’ve all been there before.]

After finishing another long day of classes (a whole 3 hours!), you head home to grab a quick snack and go to the gym. You don’t even let yourself sit down or get comfortable, knowing that getting near that couch – even for a moment – means you would never get up again. You have a ton of reading to do, but you must squeeze in that daily workout.

You throw on a pair of workout pants, squeeze into a sports bra, grab your iPod and a bottle of water and make your way to the gym.

You play your workout mix as you walk, pumping you up for the big workout ahead. It’s gonna be a long run, or maybe 45 minutes on the elliptical.

When you get to the gym you realize that everyone and their mother had the same idea as you; the gym is packed. You make your way to the cardio room and notice a short line has already formed for both the treadmills and the ellipticals.

So you wait.

As you stand there, losing any motivation you may have had for a long, sweaty workout, you look over at the machines to see if anyone is close to finishing. That is when you spot her.

She’s wearing crisp, tight yoga pants and a sports bra. Not under a shirt, but as a shirt. Her hair is perfectly straight and her face is made up for a night at the bars. And she is on the phone. Her feet are barely moving – god forbid she should break a sweat and ruin her eyeliner – as she discusses her evening plans (quite loudly) with whoever is on the other end of the call. Read More »

People tell me all the time that I have a short fuse. There is a very small window between Happy Me and So-Angry-I-Slam-Doors-And-Throw-Things Me. And those who know me know exactly the things that set me off. Like people who drive slowly in the left lane on a highway. Or people who respond to a text with “K,” thus costing me $.10.

Or, my all time favorite, the kid in class who always asks all those questions so you never get to leave early.

And while most people don’t keep stress balls or Dammit Dolls in their purse, school bag, car and bedroom (or have people run away when they see you getting angry) I know that everyone out there has that one pet peeve that puts them over the edge.

This week, the CollegeCandy team shared their biggest pet peeves. So. much. anger.

What are yours? Read More »

Everybody makes friends in college. Sometimes it’s through a group, sometimes it’s by a chance encounter, sometimes it’s just because you were too hungover for class last Monday and you need the notes to catch up. When you’re scanning the lecture hall for help, there is one person you need to be aware of.

That would be the completely anal, extremely irritating, absolutely crazy Overachiever.

This one is easy to recognize. Watch for it on the first day of class. They’re right there, in the front row (no matter what kind of class it is). They might wear glasses. Though they’ll be dressed neatly (no pjs for them!), it probably won’t be stylish; look for business attire, like suit jackets and pencil skirts. Unlike the rest of the class fighting to stay awake, they will sit up straight.

Their desk will have an open, blank notebook on it, ready to go. There may also be a tape recorder, a neat row of pencils, pens, and highlighters, and a planner opened to the current date. They’re totally prepared….for a shortage of school supplies. If their desk doesn’t have these implements, there’s a laptop already open to some note taking program with a title and date at the top. The textbook will be on their desk, even if the rest of the class doesn’t even know what it looks like yet.

Once class begins they will highlight important dates on the class syllabus. They will write everything down. They will ask questions about everything pertaining to the class. Five page research paper? They will ask if it’s okay to go over. Need four sources? They want to know if eight is too many. This is the kid who did the extra credit in high school for “the learning thrill,” not because he needed it. Read More »

There are two types of drinkers. The kind that can handle their liquor, and the kind that can’t. The kind of drunk who is the life of the party, and the kind the party wants to punch in the face. What kind of person are you? Ask yourself which of the following qualities apply to you:

Annoying drunk people…

1. Feel the need to scream, “Omigod! I’m soooo drunk!” It’s not an Olympic sport. You don’t get a medal if you blow a .20 at the end of the night.

2. Feel the need to deny their drunkenness. They fall into walls and slur “I’m totally fine!” and then reach for a bottle of Bud Lite, Jager, Windex, anything, to prove that they can handle even more.

Avoid being an annoying drunk by going with the flow and hanging out. No need to announce your current level of inxotication, or how sober you think you are.

Annoying drunk people…

3. Need to be the center of attention by screaming, dancing on tables, and giving other partygoers a general headache. “We’re going streaking!” is only funny when it’s Will Ferrell.

4. Can’t help but be the center of attention by getting over-emotional and crying. Extra annoying points when they lock themselves in bathrooms and demand consolation from their best friend for hours, thereby ruining the non-annoying best friend’s night. Read More »

[It doesn’t matter what school you go to, what state it is in, how big it is, whether it is public or private, all girls or coed…there are experiences that all college students share. No matter how crazy you think your personal situation is, it is not just you. So, let’s bring it all out in the open. Right here. Because you are not alone - we’ve all been there before.]

So, you’re home for the holidays. God it feels good! No more exams, no more papers – just pure bliss for the next few weeks. Just you, the couch, your home friends and a fridge stocked with all your favorite foods.

The first few days are great: you sleep late, lay around all day and don’t change out of your pajamas until it’s time to meet an old friend for dinner, or run out to get your hair cut (because you would NEVER trust one of those people on campus to do it).

But by day three, the novelty of being home starts to wear off. Your mom starts yelling at you to make your bed or hang up your jacket. She starts waking you up at 10 am with the familiar, “you already wasted half the day!” She starts pestering you about your grades, about when you are going to maybe get a part-time job, and about your love life. Read More »

You have enough things to worry about during your first few lectures; you need to size-up the professor, skim the syllabus to see which books to avoid buying, and ogle the TAs. One thing that shouldn’t give you grief is finding a good seat. If you want to start the semester on the right foot, here are a few folks you should steer clear of.

- Tweedledee & Tweedledum: They signed up for the class together, the live together, they went out to the bars over the weekend together, and they probably hooked up with the same skeezy dude. Now they want to recount the entire experience for everyone in class in the loudest whisper ever recorded…from right behind you.

If you can’t switch seats: Give them the old GASP treatment. It’s a 4-step process, Glare, Ahem, Say Something, and the last ditch effort — punch them in the face.

-Kitchen Sink Guy: He brings a traveling coffee mug, a laptop, two coats, all of the textbooks for the class, and a sack lunch. Worst of all, he tries to squueze it all onto his little desk, or worse, yours.

If you can’t switch seats: Grin and bear it but draw the line at your desk, or at least make him share some of the sack lunch in trade.

-Ms. Magoo: She can’t see the board, she can’t hear the professor and she can’t stop asking you to repeat and or clarify everything that’s going on. Essentially you’re playing Annie Sullivan to a second-rate Helen Keller; an annoying girl who listens to her iPod on high and thinks her glasses give her a case of fat face. Read More »

Ah, 90210. I remember sitting on my couch in middle school, my legging-clad legs propped up on the coffee table and my boys size extra small plaid shirt tied to one side around my waist, watching every episode religiously. I mean, these kids were so cool and had such dramatic lives and how awesome was it that they got to go to school by the beach?! I loved everyone, except Donna — who was whiny and had horrible fashion sense — and often dreamed that my high school experience would be full of ex-boyfriends, accidental drug overdoses, trips to Paris, and constant sexual tension.

Sadly, reality isn’t half as fun as fiction. But happily, 90210 is coming BACK to prime time TV later on this year! The promos and whispers have finally begun to surface, and one interesting (but I mean, how are the two related?) tie-in with the 90210 resurgence is OPI nail polish. Apparently, OPI is bringing out a “90210 inspired collection” of polish colors with names inspired by either the new cast or the old one — we’re not sure which.

It’ll be interesting to see how a company ties in nail polish to a series, but I’m sure today’s consumer culture will not disappoint. If, however, they try to make a color that has to do with Donna — stay the eff away. It will look ugly, and quite possibly make people suddenly decide you’re too annoying to live.

[Editor's Note: check out the Mom Jeans on every single cast member in the above pic. PRICELESS]