Lots of people in the USA like to complain about the drinking age. And by lots of people, I mainly mean those who are under the legal drinking age of 21.

This included me when I was underage. I used to rant continually to any listening ear around me about how hard it was for me to get into bars. I despised the injustice of the photo ID and the fact that I had to constantly verse myself in the full name, birthday, and address of the older friend I was always pretending to be while out on the town.

I had a boyfriend in London and HE was allowed to drink already. It drove me, as he would say, mad. However, now that I’m a few years past the drinking age and a few years wiser, I have come to understand how detrimental a legal drinking age of 18, for instance, could have been to my life.

If I had been drinking (legally) when I was 18, things would be different for me now, I reckon: Read More »

College is so liberating. We don’t need to ask for hall passes to use the bathroom. We don’t necessarily have to explain absences. We can leave super-crowded lectures early because the professor won’t even notice. Hell, some of us can even go to bars with our professors!

The student-teacher relationship gets completely morphed once college hits. Lecturers can be more laid back– the “hip” teachers wear jeans to class and drop curse words to express their points. In many cases, students and teachers can work closely, whether it be during office hours or on a collaborative research project. But, when it comes to student-teacher relationships, how close is too close?

Most of the “hot” teachers in college are probably shrouded in urban legends revolving around steamy love affairs in class. The profs who really connect with the students and relate to us on our level are targets for schoolgirl crushes. And once in a while, a professor comes along who takes full advantage of that. There are obvious taboos regarding student-teacher interaction in high school, thanks to some of the pedophilic educators who have made headlines over the past ten years, but in college, there are many shades of gray.

First of all, college students are of legal age to give consent. And the age gap is much smaller, especially when you throw TA’s into the picture, some of whom may still even be undergrads themselves. Still, can a romance between a professor and a student really blossom in college? Here are some factors to consider: Read More »

Recently, a friend told me that I’m one of the only people in his life with a positive attitude. At first, I was surprised. I mean, really; why is everyone so angry? But, to be fair, just 2 years ago, I was angry too. In fact, I was one of the angriest people I knew…even on the verge of suicide at one particular time.

I have completely remodeled my life and my perspective since that dark point and my friend was probably onto something when asking me about my life, because I truly am really happy these days. And this happiness isn’t just something that came over night; it is something I grew to know. Some basic principles I learned to incorporate into my thinking and perspective have made all of the difference. Read More »

Why does breaking up suck so much? No, I don’t mean the broken hearts, the swapping of past birthday / anniversary / Valentine’s gifts, or the empty void on his half of the bed. I mean, why does the actual act of breaking up suck so much?

You’re in a relationship. Obviously, there’s something compatible between you and your partner. But once the break-up hits, BAM! Everything changes. It’s very difficult to get back to the friendship level, if possible at all.

Breaking up doesn’t just mean you’ve lost a mate, but a really good friend as well. In fact, you’ve probably lost several friends, because now it’s taboo for either of your own friends to associate with the other’s ex. It could also mean you’ve lost a confidante, a study pal, a Guitar Hero partner (or the entire game, if it was his!), a personal chef, or whatever your now-ex used to do that made the relationship special.

It also means a definite disturbance in many, most, or all of your daily routines. Whether you called each other every day to talk through your commutes to school, or you were living together, suddenly, there’s something missing. And even if the break-up was necessary or inevitable, that void is a gaping hole in your life. That keeps getting bigger. And just won’t go away. Read More »

I want to return to the issues of studies and irksome classmates I raised earlier, but first, a reader brought up two important factors that can lead to depression: (a) going to the wrong school and (b) dealing with wacko roommates. (I wanna thank one of my readers for adding these dimensions to the present discussion about depression in college).

These two things – knowing that you’re going to the wrong school and dealing with wacko roomies – shouldn’t be taken lightly either. A few years ago, I had a friend who became deeply depressed after she moved into a dorm room with her then best friend. After a few months in college, her best friend became sullen, withdrawn, and passive aggressive.

To make matters worse, her roomie acted out in petty, cruel ways. At the time, my friend felt trapped, because of her contractual agreement with the school and had to wait it out. Things were so tough, she sought counseling, and was able to use that as a channel to relieve stress and anxiety about the situation. When you’re in a living situation that’s gone bad, and you’re either (a) stuck in some contractual deal with your university or (b) bound to a lease, those feelings of being totally out of control can become very overwhelming. I won’t even venture into the realm of “unsolicited invitations” in which you’re exposed to your roommate’s sexual indiscretions. (We’ll deal with that later). Read More »

If you’re single, perhaps you can agree with me on this one. Why is it that immediately after a sexual encounter, the entire world resonates with discussion of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases?

Without fail, no matter who my last partner was, how perfect I have been about taking my birth control or how sure I am that I used a backup method too, until I get my next period I am quite convinced that I am probably both pregnant and dying of full-blown AIDS. There are no symptoms that prompt my overreaction, it just comes to me in sharp pangs of anxiety.

Once I’m satisfied that I’m not actually pregnant, however, the panic truly sets in. Sure, you’ve been tested in previous gynecological exams, but have you actually been tested for HIV? And isn’t there a lot of discussion about HIV these days? There was that program in the park, and Philadelphia has been on TV lately, and… Read More »

College overall is a great time and once you’re done (take it from me), you will miss it terribly. The fact that you have all of your friends around you at all times, endless social opportunities, and things like paying rent or worrying about health insurance are not even on your radar yet add to the carefree fun.

That being said, life still just plain sucks sometimes. Whether you’re totally stressed about an upcoming presentation, feel like you haven’t slept in weeks cramming for finals, or are going through a painful breakup with the boy who lives down the hall, it’s inevitable that the blues will creep up on you at some point.

And according to a recent wave of scientists, you should not treat sadness like a horrible disease that needs to be taken care of immediately.

Eric Wilson, author of the new book, Against Happiness, argues that our culture has a fixation on happiness, and fosters “a craven disregard for the value of sadness” and “its integral place in the great rhythm of the cosmos.”

Okay, so the whole “rhythm of the cosmos” thing sounds a little odd, but hear me out.

Read More »

Okay, I was aware that I would have to worry about a midlife crisis somewhere down the road. But not for at least another 20 years when I would suddenly feel the need to date much younger men and buy a bright red convertible.

Apparently, I will have a life crisis sooner than I previously thought: the “Quarterlife Crisis.”

It’s a relatively recent phenomenon that is now recognized by many therapists and professionals in the mental health field, and refers to the years out of college when reality sets in. Technically, it is “a period of anxiety, uncertainty and inner turmoil that often accompanies the transition to adulthood.”

Awesome, can’t wait. Basically, young, twentysomethings realize that their entry level jobs suck and that a successful career isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Ahhh, please don’t make me graduate on Sunday! I don’t want to deal with life, especially this new crisis that I will apparently go through. Read More »