[Yes, I realize this month's Cosmo breakdown is a little bit late. Sorry 'bout that. But better late than never, right? Especially with the poop Cosmo was throwing at the wall this month.]

This month, Cosmo’s Guy Report includes some of the usual brilliant suggestions from staffers, as well as expert opinion (read: random dudes interns found on the street) on everything from tatted up ladies to the little signals he’s allegedly sending us.

3 Things He Says That Seem Innocent But Aren’t…

Cosmo Says: “I still love you” translates into “I love you a lot less now that we just had this fight.” “Whatever” is no longer a fun word to abbreviate, but rather a sign that your guy is about to tune you out, and “Oh, Great” is not a demonstration of his sarcastic side, but an omen that your relationship will end.

Kari  Says: I guess my boyfriend should have broken up with me years ago, because these non-innocent quips pop up from time to time. Maybe it’s just me, but if I screw up royally and we get into a shouting match, I want nothing more than reassurance that my boyfriend still loves me. And as for “whatever”-ing, it’s usually more of a response to my daily “What should I make for dinner?” text. And the sarcasm? I def would prefer sincerity but I don’t think a few eye rolls are grounds for an impending break up…

Guypinion: Chicks With Lots of Tats

Cosmo(‘s poll guys) says: Back tattoos would screw up Jon’s “rhythm” during doggie style.  Chris, 35, would prefer no ink—however “great boobs and a great butt” might make up for it, and Matt, 27, thinks all tattoos are stupid unless they are an exact replica of your dog’s paw print.

Kari Says: Ink-free is the way to be for me, but I personally think that all my girls with body art are bangin’. They all put a lot of thought and time planning out their tattoos, and none of the guys they’ve hooked up with had ever had a problem with…distractions (sorry, Jon). Where are all the guys who think tattoos are sexy? They had to be out there somewhere, Cosmo; more diversity on the polls please! Read More »