The time has come for someone to stand up and scream at the top of their lungs, “America, stop being disgusting and sexualizing 15-year-old girls!!” and I’m not afraid to be that someone. Because the media can longer be counted on to have a brain, because adult celebrity bloggers see it fit to go after girls who can’t even drive yet, and because we as a nation are still. fixated. with. high. school, the cloud of obsession seems to have blinded everyone to the fact that there is something inherently wrong with stalking little girls.

Because these ARE little girls we’re talking about. Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Taylor Momsen. When we’re not urging them to slather on the eyeliner and hike up their skirts, we’re glamorizing their world, turning high school into a multi-million dollar soap opera where everyone is scheming or talking like 30 Somethings or having sex with anything that purses it’s lips. For those of us who remember high school without the Hollywood Glasses, you’ll recall that no matter where you went, it was decidedly unglamorous. It was boring, sometimes lonely, a lot awkward, and stuffed to the brim with tests, feeble attempts to fit in, and college application essays.

Ask any mother today who isn’t on crack if she’d be happy with her 15-year-old having sex, and she’d blurt the word no faster than you could think it. When Ms. Cyrus’s cellphone is hacked into and her frighteningly-too-old half naked poses are stuffed onto the world wide web, we’re “horrified”. But when she walks around with a full face of makeup, hair extensions, high heels, and revealing clothing, she’s just being a “teen star”. The Lolita posing is too overtly sexual; while the “Disney Vamp” is just subtle enough to keep us from feeling guilty. Read More »

I spend about 10 hours a day online at work. When I finally dislodge my ass from the chair and head home for the evening, I check my email on my phone while stuck in traffic, or sitting at red lights. When I get home, I power up my laptop and settle in for an evening with my trusty friend, Mr. Internet.

I talk to my friends online. I shop online. I work online. I date online. I stalk online.

My life revolves around the computer and it’s starting to show.

Since I started using AOL in second grade, my social life has moved from the actual world into the World Wide Web. The internet makes it all so easy! Like talking to my friends in other countries or, more central to my life, confronting people and bitching them out when they piss me off.

You know you’ve been there; you have so many things you want to say to someone (like, I don’t know…an ex?) but pussy out when you try to talk to them in person. So, you bring it all up on AIM. And the shit starts flying. You lay it all on the table, turn away from the screen as you click “send” and wait for AIM to tell you if they are typing a response. (Bonus points if you also tune into some really awesome angry/tear jerker songs to set the mood.) Read More »

A lot of people have told me that they are eternally grateful to be on my good side. It seems that I can be quite a biatch if I don’t like you, someone you hang out with, or something you said or did in the past. Or if you are wearing something ugly and unflattering. Or if you mess with one of my friends. Or if I’m drunk and feeling rather confrontational. Or…well, the possibilities are endless.

The weird thing is that while I have absolutely no problem standing my ground and being a total bitch in certain situations, I am actually petrified of confrontation. Even in the most minor of cases. Like when I was at American Apparel the other day; I tried on fifteen things and decided I didn’t want any of them. But instead of telling the hipster sales dude that, I told him I would have to run to my car to grab my wallet. And I never returned.

If I can’t even give the dude at American Apparel “bad news,” imagine how bad I am with things that really matter. Like breaking things off with people.

If I hookup/go on a date with someone and don’t really feel anything (like, I don’t know…an orgasm?) I ignore their calls and emails until they get the point. If I’m feeling guilty or the guy is just not getting the hints, I will break the news in a text or email. Read More »

I’m totally for love conquering all and knowing no bounds and all that fluffy good stuff, but honestly, does anyone really believe this story??

An 82-year-old Argentinean woman married a 24-year-old man last week, making those of us who aren’t naive idiots shake our heads. Apparently, the two had been “engaged for several years” and found love after the guy’s mother died and left him with his elderly caretaker/new wife at the age of 15.

When reporters asked the woman if the marriage would be more “than just spiritual” (he should have just straight up asked if they were going to bone) she replied that it would be, making most of the media laugh on the outside and most definitely retch on the inside. Read More »

MySpace has brought many an artist to the musical forefront, and Colbie Calliat is no exception. However, unlike many artists today, Calliat (like ballet) writes her own music.

The 22 year-old hails from sunny California and grew up in a musical family. Her father co-produced a few Fleetwood Mac albums and by age 11 Colbie began singing. It wasn’t until she was 19 that she took guitar lessons and really started to take her music seriously.

After the song “Bubbly” garnered interest on her MySpace page, Colbie’s music career took off. She shopped around for a record label and found a home with Universal Republic.

Aside from dropping her first album CoCo this past July, Calliat has been named a finalist in the AOL Breakers contest, a VH1 artist You Oughtta Know and is scheduled to appear at GIRLFRENZY! alongside the likes of Sheryl and Fiona in 2008. Read More »

I understand that school systems all over the country are trying to fight back, but this could be a little overboard.

There used to be a point where teachers were a source of knowledge and wisdom that transcended their role of disciplinarian. Now, teachers are more sex crazed and mentally unbalanced than half the students out there!

In case you haven’t heard, in Murfreesboro, TN, a group of teachers turned an elementary school class trip into an episode of 24. These models for academia, yelled out to the scared 6th grade children, that this was not a test, and that they need to hide under anything they could find. Furthermore, these teachers never even informed any parents or chaperones of their planned festivities. To add the realistic allure of the shake-down, 2 teachers branded real unloaded handguns. Luckily, the Assistant Principal was in on it and thought it would be a learning experience.

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As I was browsing the internet on a snowy Sunday, I came across something that really made me wonder if AIM usage has reached a new level. Each Sunday newspapers such as The New York Times and The New York Post publish a section on weddings and highlight different couples. And I’ll admit it, I’m a devout reader of the NY Times wedding section. Not because I plan on getting married ANYtime soon, but because it’s more of a fantasy aspect in college to read about couples that found each other while both working on PhD’s at Ivy League schools or met while searching for a cure to cancer, yada yada yada. I mean, a girl can dream right?

Carrie Bradshaw once said the wedding announcements in the Times are “the straight woman’s sports pages,” and I would have to agree.

But, the Post has also started a wedding section that features more, ahem, “normal people.” The couple highlighted this week met on the internet (okay, thats fine and becoming more acceptable recently). So, for some reason, the husband thought it would be okay to propose over the internet! On AIM! Read More »