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The top 10 aphrodisiacs.

Maintaining a healthy diet and working out obviously has beneficial effects for our body and well-being. But need another reason to trade in the fries for some fruits and vegetables? Need extra motivation to get yourself to the gym?

Well, here you go:  These things may also have an effect on our sex life.

And not in a “eating carrots means a hotter bod” sorta way. There are tons of  healthy foods out there that actually pump up that libido of yours.  And although most of us probably are at that age where we don’t exactly need an extra boost, we might as well take one anyways! Can’t have too much of a good thing, right?

Asparagus: Sure this stuff makes your pee smell, but as long as you’re not partaking in a golden shower, this veg is wonderful for your sex life. This long green stringy aphrodisiac happens to be very high in Vitamin E, which is also known as ‘the sex vitamin.’ Who knew there was such a thing? And why doesn’t it come in pill form? Anyways, just munch on this veggie for an instant libido booster.

Yoga: Yoga helps you become stronger and more flexible, meaning you can bend yourself into more fun positions and use that newfound strength to stay there a little longer.

Basil: Basil increases circulation, stimulating the sex drive. In fact, it was once used by Mediterranean prostitutes as a perfume to attract costumers. Put down the perfume and start working basil into your diet.

Bananas: Despite the suggestive shape of these fruits, the real libido boosting aspect is the fact that they are rich in potassium and B vitamins, which are vital for sex-hormone production.

Cardio: Cardio exercise releases endorphins, those feel-good neuro-chemicals that make you all warm, tingly and ready for a romp. It also builds your endurance, meaning you are good to go for a long time when the “opportunity” arises.

Garlic: This one is tricky, because although it does contain high levels of allicin, a compound that improves blood flow to the sexual organs, your partner may want to gag every time you breathe. I’d save this one if all else fails.

The sun: Spend more time outdoors! Natural sunlight suppresses the production of melatonin, which produces hormones that stop your body’s natural appetite for sex.  No wonder everyone’s more frisky in the summertime.

Maca: This cruciferous vegetable has been used in Peru for thousands of years. In fact, during the height of the Incan empire, legend has it that Incan soldiers were forbidden from using Maca….to protect the conquered women from their powerful sexual impulses. It contains a high level of minerals, enzymes and essential amino acids, all of which are essential for libido. Looks like we can thank the Incas for this one.

Pilates: Strengthening exercises that work your core and the deep lying pelvic floor muscles are well-known to be related to better orgasms.

Ew. Perez has a boyfriend and I don’t?!

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Hermione is done with acting.

Helloooooo, Johnny Depp!

Ultimate aphrodisiac: your brain!

We’ve all heard about aphrodisiacs and the supposed boost they can give to our sex lives. I hate to burst your bubble, but most sources say that there is no such thing as an aphrodisiac. Regardless, I decided to go through some of the most notorious aphrodisiacs and anaphrodisiacs to let you decide for yourself. Hey, it couldn’t hurt…

Oysters – Most sources deem this one as pure myth, but there are a few that find some truth in the claim. According to MSN Health and Fitness, an American and Italian study found a compound in oysters that may increase testosterone and estrogen production. A professor from Harvard, however, denounced this as complete poppycock. And we all know, what Harvard says, goes.

Chocolate – Every source I have looked at have attributed the chocolate/love connection to the Aztecs, so I thought I would give them the credit as well. Chocolate increases levels of serotonin and phenylethylamine, neurotransmitters in the brain that are known for their feel-good properties. Many liken this effect to the feeling of being in love, which I can say with confidence, is entirely true. Like most women, I love chocolate and transfer that love to anybody who will supply me with my daily (okay, hourly) dose.

Alcohol – This is the only one that has been attributed to being an aphrodisiac and an anaphrodisiac at the exact same time. Let’s break it down.
Pros: Reduces inhibition and increases confidence, making it feel like a boost in sex drive. Add that to the beer goggle effect and you’re ready to go.
Cons: Alcohol actually makes it harder for you and your partner to achieve orgasm. Plus, you run the risk of being a victim of the I-think-I’m-sexy-but-I-actually-look-terribly-sloshed look.

Vanilla: This is my favorite scent ever. And, according to a visitor on the Tyra Banks Show (an extremely credible source), men also go crazy for the sweet aroma as well.Vanilla.com (which I daresay, may be a tad biased) goes so far to say that the scent increases penile blood flow. I don’t know how accurate that is, but I do know that this scent is definitely yummy.

And now the rumored anaphrodisiacs, AKA the sex drive killers:

Licorice: A study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that some ingredients in licorice actually suppress libido by reducing testosterone production. According to the article, “It’s about as effective as smoking a marijuana joint,” whatever that means. If you need to prevent weekend “mistakes,” however, don’t turn to the disgusting black candy for the same effect. Black licorice uses anise oil for flavoring instead of licorice oil, so you gotta go straight to the source if you want to see results.

Graham crackers – According to Slashfood.com, graham crackers were developed to lower sex drive. The inventor, Sylvester Graham, believed that food sitting in the stomach for a long time could increase sexual desire (apparently a bad thing to Sylvester). Thus, he decided to make graham crackers, a healthy snack that contains minimal fat and therefore, does not linger in the stomach for too long. In fact, the same idea inspired Kellogg to make his Corn Flakes cereal.Hey, I’ll take any excuse to eat more fatty foods.

Nicotine: This highly addictive substance can decrease sexual desire and even result in impotence, according to The Book of Aphrodisiacs by Raymond Stark. Smoking cigarettes makes you smell gross anyways, so put down the cancer stick and get busy.

Although these aren’t really proved in science, I think I’ll add beans, onions, and garlic to that list. What are your personal (an)aphrodisiacs?

Cooking with Balls: The Testicle Cookbook

If I were a man, I probably would have just grabbed my crotch and made that sympathy moan that happens when a dude sees another dude get blasted in the nads. And then I would make a joke to my girlfriend about eating balls. Unless you are my boyfriend, who made a joke about the washing instructions (soak 30-40 minutes), because he ‘only likes dirty nuts.’

Since I am a woman, I am just going to take a breath, try and keep my Baked Ruffles down, and then ask, very reasonably, WTF?!?

First of all, the photos involved are just foul, so much so that I am not even going to joke about downloading the e-book (the only form in which this is available, thank God) and watching the VIDEOS that come with it, one of which shows the author ‘peeling testicles and cutting them into bite-sized chunks.” VOM.

He also organizes an annual World Testicle Cooking Championship, at which a metric ton of testicles are cooked. DOUBLE VOM.

The author, Ljubomir Erovic, is Serbian. Testicles are a delicacy in that particular culture, and touted as an aphrodisiac, which they are in China as well (they supposedly boost the sex drive like WHOA). I’m aware that eating testicles, be they sheep, stallion, bull, ostrich – pretty much anything but human – is not unheard of. Hell, we’ve got Rocky Mountain Oysters right here in the good old U.S. of A. But a whole cookbook? Testicle pie? Testicle PIZZA? I mean, I know times are tough, but I don’t think any amount of penny-pinching would make me see that as a viable pepperoni alternative. I don’t even like touching raw chicken. You’ve seen the pictures. You know what I mean.

If you are braver than me, or looking to expand your culinary habits, the e-book is available for download on YuDu. A sample version is available here

Ladies, a nice piping hot testicle pie on a cold day? Men, some barbecued testicles to boost your libido? Seriously, is there anyone out there who would actually eat this??

Photo courtesy of blog.lib.umn.edu