There’s a new plague making its way across college campuses from coast to coast. Take one step into your local incorporated coffee shop, vegan restaurant, Urban Outfitters or American Apparel store and you will be afflicted. (Or blinded by all the neon spandex and overwhelming scent of cigarettes.)

I’m talking, of course, about hipsters.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Don’t worry’ they’ve even got a Wikipedia page.

I don’t truly despise these people. In fact, some are my dear friends. However, the ones that aren’t my friends are becoming an issue – a taking-all-the-tables-at-my-favorite-coffee-shop issue – and here’s my top 10 reasons that they piss me off. Obviously, not all apply. And obviously there are many, many more.

1. OHMYGOD just because I don’t wear weird clothes doesn’t mean I don’t like good music, too.
Hipsters pride themselves on liking the most unique, underground indie music. And if they like something outside that realm? Well, they like it “ironically.” In fact, I’m pretty sure their entire subculture is based on irony. (Editor’s Note: Maybe Alanis Morisette started the hipster movement?!) They automatically assume if someone is in a polo shirt that their music taste only expands as far as Dave Matthews and OAR. WRONG. Not everyone wears their music taste on their American Apparel sleeves. Get. Real. Check my last.fm; I listen to just as much Arcade Fire as you do and my mom was at Pavement concerts when you were in diapers.

2. The corporations you support are just as bad as the ones you hate.
So, you enjoy taking over Urban Outfitters? Well guess what – UO supported Proposition 8, the recently passed proposition that banned same sex marriage. Urban is owned by the most anti-gay bigot ever. Maybe you should think twice before you go heading over there for your next ironic tee and skinny jeans.

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There are some things you shouldn’t fake but you do anyway. We’ve all done it. I did it last night. Heavy breathing, a little writhing, a moan or two, and you’re got yourself a straight up ‘big O.’ Hey I just wanted to get some sleep, I was too damn tired for a marathon sex sesh.

It doesn’t mean that some things aren’t better faked.

Sometimes you just don’t have the time to read the New York Times every morning, or take up sailing to impress the hot preppy guy in your economics class, or even make sure your life isn’t a complete disaster. In this case, sometimes a girl just has to fake it. Hey, you think I actually have time to read the whole Economist every week to fit in with my superstar Ivy peers? Hells no.

How to Fake Knowing About Current Events:

1. Pick up the Economist from the library, read the first 5 pages where they summarize all the major events that happened in the past week in bullet points.

2. Skim the world section of the Times every morning, usually you can pick up the main points in 10 minutes- things in Iraq continue to go to hell, terrorism lives on, etc.

3. Every Sunday the Times summarizes all the major news stories of the previous week. Plus all the stories rock.

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I’m sure all our American readers are counting down the days until they can crack a Miller Lite, light some sparklers and celebrate Independence Day. Me too, except, being a Canadian, I don’t have to wait quite as long to do so…. and I will probably be sipping on something Molson over something Miller.

Up here in Canada we do our celebrating on July 1st. It’s Canada Day – our nation’s big, fat birthday – and it rocks. And being the nice neighbor that I am, I’m inviting you to party with us. If the fact that fabulous CollegeCandy writers Alex from Lakehead and Ness from Sheridan are Canadian isn’t reason enough, then here are 5 more.

1. Calling in sick to work because you’re too hungover from partying it up on the Fourth of July is totally suspicious.  Call in on July 2nd (which happens to be a Friday!) and no one will bat an eyelash.  Celebrating Canada Day means you can party straight through the weekend!

2. For anyone close to the 49th parallel and under 21, Canada is the place to be.  With a drinking age of 19 in most provinces (18 in Alberta and Quebec!) you can enjoy a drink on a sunny patio.  If you can’t make it North for a drink, raise a Caesar in celebration of Canada – this popular (and tasty) drink was created by a bartender in my hometown of Calgary, Alberta! Read More »

Yonge & Dundas Intersection in Toronto after Team Canada Win

This week’s Weekly Ten, Why Canada Deserves Silver, stirred up quite the controversy yesterday. Seriously, I didn’t see this much hate on CollegeCandy since one writer expressed her disdain for Taylor Swift. And rightfully so. Yes it was meant to be a joke, but we in Canada aren’t entirely laughing with you.  While we know for a fact CollegeCandy loves their Canadian readers, and even has a few Canadian writers (myself included), this post pissed a lot of people off.

But instead of get angry and insult the intelligence of the writer, editor or Americans in general, I decided to take the high road and just show why Canada deserves more than just a gold medal in Olympic hockey. So here is my condensed version (there are way too many reasons for one post!) of all the reasons Canada rocks that they forgot to teach you in high school. Read More »

There’s a new plague making its way across college campuses from coast to coast. Take one step into your local incorporated coffee shop, vegan restaurant, Urban Outfitters or American Apparel store and you will be afflicted. (Or blinded by all the neon spandex and overwhelming scent of cigarettes.)

I’m talking, of course, about hipsters.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Don’t worry’ they’ve even got a Wikipedia page.

I don’t truly despise these people. In fact, some are my dear friends. However, the ones that aren’t my friends are becoming an issue – a taking-all-the-tables-at-my-favorite-coffee-shop issue – and here’s my top 10 reasons that they piss me off. Obviously, not all apply. And obviously there are many, many more.

1. OHMYGOD just because I don’t wear weird clothes doesn’t mean I don’t like good music, too.
Hipsters pride themselves on liking the most unique, underground indie music. And if they like something outside that realm? Well, they like it “ironically.” In fact, I’m pretty sure their entire subculture is based on irony. (Editor’s Note: Maybe Alanis Morisette started the hipster movement?!) They automatically assume if someone is in a polo shirt that their music taste only expands as far as Dave Matthews and OAR. WRONG. Not everyone wears their music taste on their American Apparel sleeves. Get. Real. Check my last.fm; I listen to just as much Arcade Fire as you do and my mom was at Pavement concerts when you were in diapers. Read More »

Have you ever wanted to just grab your friends, a tent, some brews, and head to the desert for some good ass music and partying? I have. And apparently I’m not the only one.

A bunch of artists back in 1999 put this little festival together known as Coachella. And every year, friends of mine are attending it, playing it, working it, or doing SOMETHING for or to it. So I believe it’s time for a CollegeCandy style expose on this powwow.

The three day festival takes place every year. I like to say it’s a cross between Warped Tour and Bonnaroo. It’s not quite as punk/rock/retarded as Warped Tour, but it’s also not as artsy fartsy hippietastic as Bonnaroo. Boasting acts like Rage Against the Machine, Beck, Radiohead, Pixies, Arcade Fire, The Cure, Bjork, Amy Winehouse, The Black Keys, and Peaches (as well as about 100,000,000,000 other musicians), I’m confident that you can see what I mean here. Read More »

Not everyone is a gym freak. As a matter of fact, to some, the gym is like the plague. Working out takes serious motivation, time and dedication, and lifting weights in silence is even more painful, especially when the only noises are grunting meatheads. Yeah, no thank you.

Here are some tunes to block out those awkward noises and kick your ass into gear!

1. Headlights Look Like Diamonds– Arcade Fire

2. This Modern Love– Bloc Party

3. Freakum Dress– Beyonce (girl knows how to work it and you’ll wanna pull out your best drag queen moves after this song. Platforms are essential)

4. Bullet and a Target– Citizen Cope (the whole album is work out worthy)

5. Baby Makin’ Hips– Fantasia (please ignore the title, the song is all about the BEAT)

6. Hate On Me– Jill Scott (this is a good redemption tune)

7. Anything’s Possible– Johnny Lang (a young dude with the soul of an old man, this song will make you feel like you could move mountains, literally)

8. When Your Heart Stops Beating– Plus 44

9. Breakin’ Dishes– Rihanna (also a GREAT song to release any ‘boyfriend rage”)

10. I am Your Man– Ryan Shaw (it’s a good follow up so you don’t become a complete man-hater on the Elliptical)

11. In Love With A Girl– Gavin Degraw (glad you’re back Gavin! Grab his album on May 6th, it’s going to be SUPERB)

12. Drivin’ Me Wild– Common Ft. Lily Allen (great duet on so many levels)

And Cool Down with…

13. Everytime It Rains– Charlotte Martin (this song makes me smile like an idiot)

14. Silver Lining– Rilo Kiley

These tunes should be enough motivation for ya, now GO!

What tunes are on your “Work Out Playlist”?

Yes, it’s true, I don’t have an mp3 player. This is not really by choice, I must admit—my iPod broke a couple months ago and the so-called “Geniuses” at my local Apple store told me that the cost of fixing it would be (shockingly) the same as buying a new one. It really bothers me that Apple’s products (and most gadgets these days) are basically designed to break after about a year, thus forcing you to buy a new one, so I simply refused. I went iPod-less.

I love reading, so I figured my morning commutes would be fine. Think of all the books I could get through! I might finally plow through that stack of New Yorkers under my bed! As for walking around, I’d be better off—less likely to get hit by a bus while crossing the street and not paying attention, less likely to get targeted for mugging, less likely to run into a glass door (yes, this has actually happened to me).

Who am I kidding? Read More »