Dear “That Guy”,

Your ability to drink in excess and ruin 95% of pictures taken at parties gets me hot and bothered. I think it’s uhh… adorable that you maintain your appearance to the point where I question your sexual orientation. I guess I respect the fact that you tweeze, bleach and pluck more than me. The fact that you care about your “fresh kicks getting smudged” more than your future or GPA is super sexy…?

Babe, what happened to you? Before you became “that guy” you were once “just one of the guys.” You were playing Madden instead of photoshopping your Facebook pictures. You couldn’t tell Armani from Target. Your cellphone lived in your pocket instead of clipped to your ribbon belt, and for the love of God, why are you orange-r than an Oompa Loompa?! I liked you without your bromosexuality. I’m not interested in the Brody Jenners or the Gotti wannabes!

Why does your tee shirt have more sparkles on it than Limited Too’s entire Spring Collection circa 1998? These glittery numbers are worsened by being “slim fit” to show off your “killer pecs.” Maybe they work for Hulk Hogan, but they don’t work for you and they definitely don’t work in public. Do society a favor and wear clothes that fit. And if your shirt has a collar? I don’t care if you’ve been popping it ever since you can remember. Old Yeller that nonsense. Put. It. Down.

Take out your Bluetooth headset. Kudos if you use it in your car – safety first. But, that blinking blue light glued to the side of your head while you’re out and about, especially waiting in line at stores (most likely Armani Exchange or Abercrombie and Fitch), makes you look like an ultra douchebag. I am laughing at you. The store clerks are laughing at you. Humanity as a whole is laughing at you. Leave the damn thing in the glove compartment of your car.

What the hell is on your head? First, turn your hat frontwards. Backwards hats were cool for Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit. Ten years ago. Secondly, what kind of hat is it? Baseball hat? Fine. Trucker hat? Toss it out. Ashton Kutcher threw out his, and he was like the Dane Cook of the ’90s. Douche of the decade. Plus, enough with the pre-frayed brim! How do brims even get frayed in the first place? What did you do with yourself to even get a frayed brim? Walk head-on into a concrete wall multiple times? Drop it on a belt sander in shop class in high school? Jesus Christ!

Which brings me to your hair. If it’s longer than your chin, you probably need a haircut. If it’s gelled to the point where you look more like your front lawn than a dude, lose the L’Oreal. Shaggy is cute, spiky not so much. Also, quit it with the weird chin pubes. They’re itchy and freaky and especially way gross if they’re flesh colored a la Spencer Pratt.

Darling, I like you for you. Not your ill-fitting clothes and designer flip flops. Hell, I’ll let you continue to tell your stories about your drinking glory days once in a while, but please consider at least some of the previous advice, chill out, and leave the metrosexuality and manscaping where it belongs. On Bravo.

Lots of love,
Melanie

[This story was originally posted by Melanie - Northeastern.]

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[Do you ever feel like you can’t pull something off? Have trendy pieces in your closet that you would never have the courage to actually wear out? Well take those pieces out, shake off the dust, and continue reading!

In this series, I will choose a different piece that can be difficult to incorporate into an outfit and give you ideas on how to wear it. If there’s anything you would like to read about in the future, please leave a comment!]

Bubble shaped skirts are a big trend this fall from the runways of designer brands like (see above) Dior, Armani, and Erin Fetherston. Like the ruffles we’ve seen all season, this silhouette is really flattering; the volume of the skirt makes your legs and waist appear tiny in comparison. It’s also a fresh look for any holiday parties you will be attending this season (you social butterfly, you).

Before you zip into a bubble skirt, there are a few tips you must remember.

First, this type of skirt is definitely OK to go mini with, but if you think you’re showing a little too much leg put on a pair of opaque black tights. You don’t wanna look trampy! Also, when shopping for a bubble skirt, you must try it on! This is not the type of thing that will always fit you the same, so head to the nearest dressing room and make sure that the fabric stays upright and bubbly and doesn’t droop into a saggy mess. Finally, to maximize the slimming effect make sure you wear a tight fitted top (so as not to appear voluminous all over!) and heels to lengthen your legs.

Here are some cute options for skirts. Just click the picture to learn more:

If you a skirt isn’t your think, you can achieve the bubbly silhouette with a dress! There are a ton of cute options for party/semi-formal bubble dresses out there to choose from. Here are just a few to get you started:

Your ability to drink in excess and ruin 95% of pictures taken at parties gets me hot and bothered. I think it’s uhh… adorable that you maintain your appearance to the point where I question your sexual orientation. I guess I respect the fact that you tweeze, bleach and pluck more than me. The fact that you care about your “fresh kicks getting smudged” more than your future or GPA is super sexy…?

Babe, what happened to you? Before you became “that guy” you were once “just one of the guys.” You were playing Madden instead of photoshopping your Facebook pictures. You couldn’t tell Armani from Target. Your cellphone lived in your pocket instead of clipped to your ribbon belt, and for the love of God, why are you orange-r than an Oompa Loompa?! I liked you without your bromosexuality. I’m not interested in the Brody Jenners or the Gotti wannabes!

Why does your tee shirt have more sparkles on it than Limited Too’s entire Spring Collection circa 1998? These glittery numbers are worsened by being “slim fit” to show off your “killer pecs.” Maybe they work for Hulk Hogan, but they don’t work for you and they definitely don’t work in public. Do society a favor and wear clothes that fit. And if your shirt has a collar? I don’t care if you’ve been popping it ever since you can remember. Old Yeller that nonsense. Put. It. Down.

Take out your Bluetooth headset. Kudos if you use it in your car – safety first. But, that blinking blue light glued to the side of your head while you’re out and about, especially waiting in line at stores (most likely Armani Exchange or Abercrombie and Fitch), makes you look like an ultra douchebag. I am laughing at you. The store clerks are laughing at you. Humanity as a whole is laughing at you. Leave the damn thing in the glove compartment of your car.

What the hell is on your head? First, turn your hat frontwards. Backwards hats were cool for Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit. Ten years ago. Secondly, what kind of hat is it? Baseball hat? Fine. Trucker hat? Toss it out. Ashton Kutcher threw out his, and he was like the Dane Cook of the 90′s. Douche of the decade. Plus, enough with the pre-frayed brim! How do brims even get frayed in the first place? What did you do with yourself to even get a frayed brim? Walk head-on into a concrete wall multiple times? Drop it on a belt sander in shop class in high school? Jesus Christ!

Which brings me to your hair. If it’s longer than your chin, you probably need a haircut. If it’s gelled to the point where you look more like your front lawn than a dude, lose the Loreal. Shaggy is cute, spiky not so much. Also, quit it with the weird chin pubes. They’re itchy and freaky and especially way gross if they’re flesh colored a la Spencer Pratt.

Darling, I like you for you. Not your ill-fitting clothes and designer flip flops. Hell, I’ll let you continue to tell your stories about your drinking glory days once in a while, but please consider at least some of the previous advice, chill out, and leave the metrosexuality and manscaping where it belongs. On Bravo.

Lots of love,

Melanie

Purple is in right now. I first caught wind of this when my friend was bemoaning the fact that eggplant purple is trendy and that every girl who wears it looks like Barney. However, when we went shopping the next day she tried on a purple top and looked made her look more like Barbie than Barney. She broke down and fell for the color like a supermodel on a slippery runway.

I started seeing it more, especially when I went shopping with my boyfriend. “Shopping” as in we walked around looking at things we couldn’t afford. Purple everywhere! Purple Dior shoes, Armani dresses, Louis bags. Stupid college budget.

Purple is super trendy right now, and though it may be pink’s retarded cousin, it does looks pretty damn hot. So, here are some of the cutest purple finds for the fall, to be worn with feistiness.

I’m obsessed with this grandpa-sweater look. Cardigans are so classic and amping them up with bright plum coloring and cashmere is a definite win.

Not ready for the neon purple? Orchid is a softer purple and jersey dresses are flattering on any body type. Subtle for the office and breathable for bar dancing!

Must. Have. Now. Chloe’s Daytripper bag in purple. Droooool. Seriously I would wear this with anything, all day, everyday. Santa, are you listening?

On the more affordable end, Forever 21 has a cute fuchsia crochet number. So feisty! Perfect for a beach dress or throw a black cardigan on (preferably a grandpa sweater) and dress it up for class or work.

Empire waist is my fave, hides that summer ice cream tummy. Love, love, love the deep purple, it’s like a sexy eggplant!

Madeline gone fashionista! Alright, this is may be a little too much for most, but if you’re daring and can pull it off, snaps!

What do you chicas think about the purple trend? Barneylicious or fabulous?

The short bob, the platinum – almost white – hair, is too much like the twiggy era for me to think Ms. Deyn is breaking a new fashion mold, when really, she’s just playing copy cat to some of fashions oldest trendsetters. If it wasn’t for Henry Holland who discovered Ms. Deyn, this wanna-be may not have been the face of Armani in ’07 or won the 2007 British model of the year award.

I used to love the way models looked; tall, slender (note I said slender, not emaciated or malnourished) and elegant, gliding down the runway with confidence I wished to exude, but never could master. Now, when I watch fashion shows, look at magazine spreads or stare up at billboards, I can’t help but feel the Agyness Deyn’s of this era are seriously lacking in the sheek-ness that once was what fashion stood for.

Their frail frames, gaunt cheek bones, androgynous look and blank, lifeless stares pale in comparison to the Cindy Crawford’s or Christy Brinkley’s of an older generation. My only fear is that if Agyness Deyn is blowing up on PerezHilton.com as a fierce competitor in the model industry, what does this mean for the future of America’s fashion image?

How do you feel about Ms. Deyn?

Oops! Heidi Montag can’t vote after all–sorry McCain (but thank you, God!)

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Posh Spice’s new adss for Marc Jacobs–WTF?

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Why wouldn’t you buy Armani roller skates?

RIP Charleton Heston.