Hey Dude,

I’ve done the Friends With Benefits thing, and, to say the least, I’m not cut out for it.  Now I have this amazing guy in my life who I consider my best friend, but I’m confused over how I’m supposed to know if he likes me as in a relationship sense or if he just wants to sleep with me.

He texts me quite often, even if just to say hi or to see what I’m up to, or make sure I’m feeling better when I’m sick.  We’ve gone out before with mutual friends and had a blast.  We’re both more of homebodies, so he comes over to my place now regularly and we hang out.  We’ve made out, but I end it before it goes any further because I don’t want the Friends With Benefits thing to happen.

So, how do I know?!

Thanks,
Confused Read More »

Hey Dude,
I’m a junior in college and last year I started dating one of the most amazing guys ever. He and I have been together for over 6 months now. Last month I told him that I loved him, because I do. I am absolutely in love with him.  His response? “Thank you. That was very brave of you.”

It’s been a month now, and he still hasn’t told me that he loves me, yet he’ll say it with complete ease to his male housemates, as some sort of parting phrase.  How can he say it so easily to them, and not be able to say it to me? Will he ever say it? Or am I just wasting my time on a man who can’t bring himself to
love me?

All the best,
Waiting Read More »

Dear Dude,

So I met this guy. We hung out for about a week before he kissed me. It escalated from there and I ended up spending the night at his house. I didn’t sleep with him, but I did mess around with him. He was really sweet and in the morning he asked me what I thought we were and where I wanted this to go. I shrugged and asked him what he wanted. He said ” I don’t want to put a title on things yet. I’m going to see hot girls, and you’re going to see hot guys.” I told him that we could just let things figure themselves out.

The thing is, I’ve been the ‘booty call girl’ before and I always seem to get hurt. I don’t want to scare him off because I don’t want to rope him into a relationship at the moment, I just want to know that there is a chance it could turn to something more serious. Am I wasting my time on this, or should I let things play out?

Your advice is greatly appreciated!
–Confused Collegiate Read More »

Hey Dude,

How the heck do you get out of the friend zone? It seems like everyone thinks it is only a problem for guys but girls go through the same problem as well. I have a guy friend for a few years now and I would love for it to be something more. He is a definition of a player and basically can get whoever he wants. He hooks up with so many girls – he even hooked up with my twin sister last week!

The thing is, we have a good friendship – he makes me laugh and I feel like I can tell him anything. We are very flirty, but then again, he flirts with everyone. We have been in situations where we could of hooked up, but he never made a move. He is not friends with many girls. Honestly, I think I am the closest girlfriend he
has. I just really would love to see if I can turn this into something more. Help!!

-Sick of the Friend Zone Read More »

Hey Dude,
Could you clue me into “boy world”? I have been told (thank you He’s Just Not That Into You and pretty much every romance book and movie out there) that the guy needs to do the asking. So we very impatient girls need to give out our numbers and take theirs and then not call them.

This is so, so hard to do. Say you meet a guy and dance, hook up, and talk to him. He seems majorly into you, you exchange numbers and then doesn’t call. Yes, I know that he’s probably just not that into me, but is it really wrong to call or text him? And the three day rule – do guys actually know and abide by it or are all of these things that girls made up?

Thanks so much!
-Danielle Read More »

Got a guy question that’s tearing you up inside? Don’t trust your girl friends to give you honest advice (because they’re afraid if they tell you the truth you will freak out and throw things at them)? Just want to try and understand what a guy is thinking?

We’ve got the dude for you. Send your questions to AskTheDude@CollegeCandy.com and he’ll give it to you straight. Because you can’t throw things at him, no matter what he tells you. Our dude is answering questions every Wednesday, so ask away!

Hey Duuuude,

OK, so here is my situation. I met this guy my freshman year of college (I’m a sophomore now) and we flirted for a while and then we started texting. Then eventually, we started partying together. Well for about two months while we would flirt, text and party all the time (he would text me every day about 3 times a day a lot of times just to see what I was doing), he had a girlfriend. Before I found this out, I had straight up asked him if he had a girlfriend and he said no.

How I found out he had a girlfriend for sure, was one night us two and a group of friends went to a party. At the party (not knowing it was his girlfriend) I went up and talked to her, because I knew who she was aside from the fact that she was his girlfriend. She was short with me, and gave me a lot of attitude and I wanted to know why. So I asked him again what was going on between those two and he simply said “I f**ked her a few times.” Then I found out that she is madly in love with him and considers them to be exclusive. Well that was a while ago and bygones are bygones; I do not trust him in a boyfriend sense, yet I treasure his friendship. He tells me he wants to go out on actual dates that don’t involve other people and black out-drunkenness, and I have heard him say that he wants to be in a serious relationship with me, but I am afraid to trust him because I feel like he is someone that I could really fall for.

What should I do???
— Can’t Think of a Fun Name, So Just Call Me Confused Read More »

Gonna switch it up a little bit today… I have a couple of questions to answer, but afterwards, I’m going to pose a question to ya’ll, to see if I can’t get to the bottom of something that I’ve recently found particularly vexing.

Today, we’re going to deal with the world of wonders that is the internet. Yahoo! (C’mon, that was a funny pun, right?)

Laura S. asks, “Is partaking in an online sex chat with someone other than my boyfriend considered cheating?”

Well, first things first… do people still partake in online sex chats? I remember back when I was like 12, and the chat rooms on AOL were still a novelty, we’d all get a kick out of pretending we were a young girl and chatting up 50 year old pedophiles (We were easily entertained. Back off).

But even with the rise of internet dating, I guess I’ve missed out on the attraction of a sex chat. I mean, if it’s a video chat, that’d be one thing. But plain old chatting? Meh.

Anyway, back to the question at hand… as a guy that’s cheated on more than a few occasions, I’d hate to think that having internet sex with someone that you’ll probably never meet is tantamount to screwing your boyfriend’s best friend’s brains out. I’m not sure why you’d do it, or what pleasure you’re getting out of an online conversation that your boyfriend can’t provide in person, but as long as it’s relatively innocent, I don’t think it could be considered cheating. Read More »

I hope everyone had a nice holiday last week, and that ya’ll are keeping cool as this heatwave tortures the entire country. It looks like today’s questions are more focused on relationships and less focused on sex; maybe a sign that we’re all maturing together? Eh… probably not. But relationships are just as much fun to dissect, so let’s get right to the first question, which I’d imagine is on the minds of a great number of girls who are entrenched in long-term relationships…

Amber’s wonders, “In a long term relationship, what does a girl need to do to keep her man interested?”

Can’t wait to see how I answer this one, as keeping myself interested was probably the biggest problem I had in my major relationship, and more often than not, my lack of interest manifested itself in random trysts and affairs.

The short answer is, you shouldn’t NEED to do anything, especially when you are as young as most of us are. If you’re early 20-something boyfriend is having trouble staying interested in you after only a year or so, that’s an awful harbinger of things to come. Instead of trying to keep this guy interested, maybe you should think about cutting your losses and finding a guy that doesn’t need prodding to remain interested in his girlfriend. Read More »

Questions abound… woohoo! With five questions today there’s no sense in beating around the bush, so let’s get right into it…

Sara asks, “Does deep throating really feel that good for a guy or is it just the idea of it that gets him excited?”

Nothing like a good oral sex question to start this segment off the right way! The answer, Sara, is that it’s a little bit of both. For your typical guy, the mere thought of being deep throated is often enough to send him into a tizzy. There’s no real deep (no pun intended), inner meaning to it. Plain and simple, the idea of a girl swallowing a guy’s entire manhood is just a hot fantasy that we all share.

And when it actually happens, well, it’s everything we dreamed in that fantasy that it would be. It really is an indescribable feeling. It’s obviously not a big deal if you can’t do it, because the majority of girls can’t. But if you can, more power to ya!

Camille tells us, “I really like this guy, and I KNOW he likes me – we talked one-on-one for hours at a party last weekend. But I had to leave and I was too shy to get his number, so I didn’t say goodbye. I told my friend to get his number for me, which she did, but now he’s totally into her instead of me! Have I lost my chance with him? Is he confused, or is he a jerk?”

Unfortunately, he’s probably a jerk. While you’re probably right that he was into you, it doesn’t sound like he was too broken up about you leaving the party. Rather, it sounds like he’s one of those guys that was looking to have a good time at this party, and showed interest in whomever he deemed was his best shot at getting some ass for the night. Read More »

Yes, it’s time yet again for another installment of “Ask a Guy…”, the place where a girl can ask a guy… anything she wants. Really, anything at all… just try me.

(all you have to do is leave a question in the comment section at the end of the blog… you don’t even have to use your real name. It’s that easy.)

So, without further ado:

Jennifer would like to know, “whats with guys immediately losing interest when a girl gives it up on the first night? I get the whole ‘make him wait for it’ thing, but will a guy really not consider you for a girlfriend if you give it up right away?”

This question touches on a phenomenon that has boggled my mind as much as it boggles the minds of a lot of girls, because I’m as guilty of this as anyone. There have been far too many times in the last year where I’ve dated girls up to and until the point that we’ve had sex (which almost never has taken more than three dates), and then I immediately raise anchor, get the hell out of dodge, and disappear at sea, never to be heard from again. But I think I’m starting to figure this out.

The answer to this question really stems from how well you know the guy that you’re getting it on with so quickly. If you and the guy have known each other for a while and are friends, this scenario probably isn’t likely to play out. The guy obviously likes you, or else he wouldn’t have been interested in even being friends. Therefore, he probably already knows about your propensity to give it up early on, but wouldn’t be deterred by this, because if its taken a while for you two to finally hook up, you probably both really do like each other. Read More »