Question for our dear friend Tuffinski?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and just maybs, just maybs, get a response.

Dear Tuffy Love,

I have a major crush on my RA. I know it’s wrong and the chances of something happening are almost zero, but I can’t seem to get rid of these feelings. He is super hot and funny and sweet and sooo cool. The problem is (other than the fact that he’s my RA) that he’s a senior and I’m only a freshman. I don’t know what to do. I’m torn between acting on my feelings and pretending they don’t exist.

I have a huge fear of rejection and I’m afraid of getting hurt and awkwardness. But it’s come to the point where I want to do something. I want to know if he feels the same way even a little. But I don’t even know how to go about approaching him about it. What if he doesn’t feel the same way? He does seem to give me preferential treatment over the other residents, but that could mean nothing. Help!

-Conflicted Read More »

Email your pressing questions to TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com for the chance to get a pressing answer! You dig?!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

My boyfriend is a racist. Not the kind that’s making racist remarks all the time, but he says things that I think are racist and then he says they’re just a joke. But it makes me really uncomfortable because it makes me feel like I’m a racist too because I’m not stopping him.

Should I keep dating my boyfriend? We’ve been together for a year and otherwise I really love him. He’s a really good guy, but when he says things like that I don’t know what to do.

Carrie

Dear Carrie,

Well, you didn’t give any examples, so it’s hard to say. But here’s what Tuffy thinks:

I know it’s painful, but you gotta sit your guy down and tell him how you feel. Say, “Tommy (can I call your boyfriend Tommy?), Tommy, I don’t like the things you’re saying about [whatever group he's racist in the general direction of]. Where is this coming from?” Read More »

What is he thinking?!

Got a little question for Tuffy Luv? She’s got a little answer for you! Email questions to TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com for a chance to be featured in the Tuffster’s column.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

So, I have a cozy, late-night nookie friend.

We’re not overly compatible in the sobering light of day, and we’re both unusually insecure, so the unspoken rule seems to be every couple of weeks or more. Emails are sporadic and sweet, for reasons that any of you who’ve ever binged on ice cream before or heard the chorus of the Elliott Smith song “Ballad of Big Nothing” will know.

I disappeared this summer, so falling back into a routine feels like navigating the bumpy straits of first acquaintance all over again. We’ve only seen each other three times this fall, but a few weeks ago, maybe moved by birthday drinks or the card that I sent him, he sent me an email telling me to barge in whenever I felt like it. Read More »

Question? Answer: TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com. Dig?!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I cheated on my boyfriend but now I want him back. I realized that the other guy that I was cheating with wasn’t that great so I really want to get back with my guy. He said okay we can get back together but the problem is that while we weren’t together (he broke up with me when he found out I cheated) he was constantly telling me how much he loved me and everything and that he wouldn’t see anyone else because he wanted to get back together.

Well the thing is, Tuffy, I just found out that he was talking to another girl while we weren’t together. He said he wouldn’t do that so now I feel like I can’t trust him. He told me about it because he said he feels bad about it but he says nothing happened, they just went out to dinner. But I’m so mad at him. He keeps apologizing but I feel like I need something bigger. Should I just get back with him like my heart wants or should I make him show he’s sorry first?

Please post this Tuffy; this is the third time I’m emailing you.

Gina

Dear Gina,

The reason I didn’t respond to your question the first two times was to spare you from what I was going to say. But, hey, if you insist:

This is totally effed. Sorry Gina, but you’re completely in the wrong here. I mean, you have got to be kidding me. You cheat on him, but he’s the one who’s supposed to beg your forgiveness?! That’s just messed upp.

So what do I think you should do? Read More »

Question for La Tuff?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and get that it answered proper!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

My boyfriend wants to have sex all the time. At first I was OK with it but now I just want to hang out sometimes. We still go on dates but its like he needs to have sex every single day. I’m stressed out! This is a busy semester for me – sometimes I just don’t feel like it! How can I tell him without hurting his feelings?

Thanks Tuffy!

Tired

Dear Tired,

Repeat after me: Get your goddamn hands off of me.

Okay, sorry kids. Aunt Tuffy is having a busy couple of weeks herself so the idea of some dude forcing his overactive weewee on someone who is too tired to do it right now, goddammit–well, it makes Aunt Tuffy a little tired herself.

But, back to you.

In any case, Tired, I’m sure he’s not doing it on purpose. The fact that he still wants to go on dates and everything is reassuring. If, like, he just wanted to have sex and DIDN’T want to do the whole dating this anymore, well, then I’d say the guy is cheating or just biding his time. But that doesn’t sound like the case here. Read More »

Question for Tuffaleh?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and get that shiz answered!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I have a wonderful, sweet boyfriend who I’ve been with for over a year. We were friends at first, and I always liked him from the moment we met freshman year (I’m a junior now) when we hooked up a few times casually but then seriously got together a year later. Things have been great so far but there’s one big problem: I’m very dependent on him. I try to spend as much time as I can with him, and although I have a close group of friends and get good grades, I put him as my number one priority. He doesn’t do that. He is involved in a lot of stuff outside of me, and even his friends have expressed that they want him to spend less time with me and more with them.

But Tuffy, I get anxious when he leaves me. We sleep together every night and I have gotten upset to the point of crying when I have to say goodbye to him in the morning. If he goes on vacation with his family or is away for long periods of time, I miss him terribly. I’m seriously attached, and I know it’s unhealthy. Help!

Separation Anxiety Girl Read More »

Question for La Tuff?! Email your questions to AskTuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and get an answerino.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’ve known this guy C for a little over a year now. He used to live across the hall from me – we were study buddies, and we hung out a couple of times. All my friends thought he liked me but he never asked me out or anything. Over the summer, one of my close friends interned with him, so I know what he was doing and he knows everything that happened to me. But we only talked, like, a couple of times over the phone.

Even though this semester we live in different areas, we still have one class together and we’ve been seeing each other over the weekends… and we made out multiple times. I haven’t told any of my girlfriends yet, because they would just tease us nonstop. One thing made me nervous is that he only comes to see me on weekends after he is slightly drunk. I don’t know if I should ask him where he thinks we are going or not. I don’t want to sound desperate, but I really don’t think this is a healthy relationship. Do you think he just wants to be FWB? What should I do?

Thanks.
Juli Read More »

Question for Tuffaleh?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com for the answers of your dreams. Or, perhaps, public humiliation. It depends.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I moved to the US from Africa in Spring 2006 for college. I had a boyfriend when I moved and we had been dating for over a year by then.We stayed in contact everyday via email, phone, facebook, video messaging and I always went back at least twice every year and spent about 2 weeks with him each time. Everything was fine until summer ‘07 came around and I started to have friends and go out more. I met this guy that reminded me so much of my boyfriend (talk,act and even smelt alike). We started getting pretty close until he found out I had a boyfriend. We kinda drifted apart after that but every time we saw each other (like at a party) sparks start to fly again.

I finally got intimate with him 1 year after we met, but stopped seeing him after my boyfriend found out 2 weeks later (we are continents apart and he still found out). My boyfriend broke up with me and it took months of begging him over the phone and a $2,000 airplane ticket to get him back. I was genuinely sorry and I stopped all contact with the other guy. But then I go home this summer and we start to run into each other again. It started off with us locking eyes across the room to little flirts until I found myself in his bed again. Read More »

"I swear, I wasn't cheating on you."

Need some advice? Ask nicely and I’ll hook you up. Email me at tuffyluv@collegecandy.com and I’ll get back to you on the fly.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Please respond! I’m in a rough spot.

Also, this is a very long story.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 1/2 years. We love each other very much and he is my best friend, but we have had a lot of trust issues. It all started close to a year into our relationship. I went over to his apartment one evening to hang out and he was watching football so I sat down at his computer to entertain myself with the internet. I wasn’t snooping but something in an open AIM window caught my eye. The last line of the conversation read “Wait don’t you have a girlfriend?” So being curious I read the rest of the convo. To sum the whole thing up, this chick (who he had been trying to set his good friend up with) was flirting with him and he said ” If I were to go there, or you were to come here, we would hook up. Don’t pretend like it wouldn’t happen.” And she pretty much agreed.

So after reading this I confronted him. He said that in the process of trying to hook his friend up with her, the girl developed feelings for my boyfriend and he just didn’t want to hurt her feelings. I told him  that he needed to be honest with her and tell her that he has a girlfriend and nothing was going to happen between them. I made him show me the AIM conversation in which he said this to her.

Understandably, after this incident I became intensely paranoid. So, I stole his Myspace password. Not only his Myspace password but Facebook, Yahoo, and Gmail. I know that that’s really horrible but I didn’t know what else to do because I really didn’t want to break up with him but I didn’t feel I could trust him. Everything had been fine until twice in the past month or two the girl that originally set this whole thing into motion has sent naked pictures to his Gmail. Read More »

Wanna be featured in Tuffy Luv’s weekly advice column?! Send your questions to TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

One of my friends is in love with me and I’m having a hard time thinking if I should give him a chance. We tried dating for a month, but I don’t know if I can do it again. The reason why I’m not with him is because he has B.O. He is a wonderful guy but I really can’t see myself being in a relationship with him.  His B.O is really bad that the last time we kiss I wanted to barf. I turned him down once because he can be so conceited and it annoys me, but also because of the B.O. I have told him about how he smells but he just didn’t say anything. I am just so confused whether I should give a chance because I know that he loves me.

Help?
Shadow Read More »