1. The Hottest Frat God Alive (at least he thinks so).

HFGA can usually be found sipping Natty Lite with his bros in his designated spot at everyone’s favorite bar. He charms the ladies with his sparkling smile and 9-year-old, never washed favorite hat. He can (and usually does) hook up with whomever he feels like, making them the lucky lady for the night. This luck expires the morning after as his conquest climbs out of the sketchiest window at his fraternity house so none of his brothers (or her friends) will notice.

Fast forward several days, when he hasn’t called, texted or Facebooked my best friend, who will inevitably see him out at the bars. If she’s lucky she warrants a head nod from him, but in most cases they completely ignore each other, she takes several more shots than necessary, and I tissue off her running mascara while she weeps in the bathroom. HFGA may also brag about his great bedroom skills, which include hilarious Borat impressions during the act. Very Niiice.

2. The Ugly One Who is Still a Douche.

This guy seriously confuses me. Even if he didn’t have dandruff/acne/man boobs, he still has no right to treat girls like s**t! However this particular brand of male feels that he must compensate for his looks with mucho amounts of a-hole like behavior. His douchey-ness includes, but is not limited to: rude comments, lack of tact, neglect to pick up the tab ever, superior attitude, extreme social awkwardness, and most commonly of all the inability to call my awesome friend after a night, several days, or even weeks of spending quality time with her (who was way too good for him anyway!)

3.The Low-Life.

Or, as my girlfriends view them, the fixer-uppers. By far the most depressing romantic scenarios I have witnessed are those involving a low-life a-hole. You know the type — he enjoys smoking Black&Milds, drinks only cognac, wears FUBU and Sean Jean exclusively, possibly dj’s or promotes for a club no one’s ever heard of, and almost always sells something illegal on the side. At first when I am introduced to him, I am skeptical, but avoid judging him because he does seem sweet, sincere, and eager to become an upstanding citizen. All charming qualities aside, he calls my friend “ma” and shouts angrily when she suggests he clean up his act. Or worse, he never answers his phone, but only calls my friend at his own convenience, which usually translates to whenever he isn’t hanging out/hooking up with his — surprise! — babymomma.

4. The Overprotective/ Raging Jealous Type.

Of all the pricky characters my girlfriends sometimes date, this one upsets me the most, mainly because his obnoxious behavior actually affects me. I treasure my friends for many reasons, but one of their most endearing qualities is their collective ability to party like rockstars with me. When Possessive McMacho steps into the picture though, I can kiss my table dancing/Coors Light shotgunning/Journey singing partner in crime goodbye.

This type of a-hole unfortunately has most likely achieved boyfriend status, therefore giving him the “right” to tell his woman what she can and can’t do. When my friends inevitably ask me why I’m so lucky to have a boyfriend who “let’s” me do whatever I want, I mentally scream “BECAUSE HE IS MY BOYFRIEND. MY PARTNER. NOT MY FATHER!” Instead I tell them that I’m finally receiving my karmic pay back for all the a-holes I dated in the past, and that they too will find a nice, normal guy — if they would date him in the first place.

So what do you think? Have you discovered any other species of a-hole? Have you dated any of the aforementioned winners? I know I have, and if my own mistakes have taught me nothing, I sure as hell hope that my friends’ have.

After dinner we kissed quickly and went our separate ways. Ugh.

I went back to our mutual friend for some back-up. “What the hell is going on? I thought Chuck liked me!”

“Do you like him?”

“Um. Of course I do! He is the nicest boy I’ve ever met, and he always treats me so well.”

“Maybe you only like him because he likes you.”

OK, fine, maybe part of the appeal was knowing I wouldn’t be rejected, but when I thought about it long and hard, I really cared about Chuck, and I wanted him to be happy.

“Do you think maybe you kissed him because you knew it meant so much to him?”

Hm. I’ve always been the kind of person who wants to make everyone happy, who is willing to bend over backwards if it meant I could make a friend smile. It seemed so unfair that Chuck was such a nice person, but never got any dates. He totally deserved a fantastic girlfriend…but he didn’t deserve a friend who dated him just because she felt like she should.

I realized our mutual friend was right…I didn’t actually like Chuck as a boyfriend, but since I knew dating him would make him happy, I did it.

I wish I could say that I sat him down, explained the whole situation and ended it before things got even worse. Alas, I was too scared to break his heart so soon after kissing him, so I kept it going, letting it slowly fade as the Summer came to a close. We attended different colleges anyway, so I figured Fall would be a natural ending point. I felt awful the whole time–it was like I was taking advantage of him every time he did something nice for me, or complimented me. It was torturous.

Several months after we had returned to our respective schools, a bit of info popped up on my news feed: Chuck was in a relationship. We usually sent emails back and forth, so in my next message I asked him about the new girl. She was great, he told me. They both loved graphic novels and crazy films. She was, according to those who met her, totally lovely.

It finally dawned on me that, although I felt like shit after kissing Chuck, I might have actually done him a small favor. I think going out with him for a little while helped him to realize that all crushes are not unobtainable, and that those girls you crush on are just normal people looking for love too (I, unlike Chuck, am still single).

That being said, I’m not advocating dating someone you don’t really have feelings for, but maybe give that shy guy friend of yours an ego boost. Tell him he looks good in his glasses. Introduce him to friends with similar interests. Most importantly, don’t treat him like just another friend! He’s a guy, he has feelings (maybe feelings for you!), and you need to respect that. Dumping all your dating problems on him is only going to make things worse–save that stuff for the girls.

And if you do wake up one day and realize you really truly have feelings for him, by all means, go for it. You can watch Win A Date With Tad Hamilton on your first date.

I finally felt like there was a television show that understood me. That was, until this week. Neil, Ryan, and Amy – those fat bastards – turned the only pure television experience I have as an overweight, uninspired young woman into Survivor for fatties. Those f**kers “played the game,” which is code for turning into cowardly assholes, and gained weight on purpose thereby throwing off the whole comeradery of the show and its audience.

I am horrified, as a fan and as a person struggling with my own weight, that this show has turned into people sling-shotting their own weight to “play the game.” If that is the game, then I don’t want to watch anymore. Short of having them eat animal entrails, this show has turned into a farce. I watched because I needed to be inspired. Being foolishly inpired by these people, I have worked my way to losing 6.5 lbs. Not a big deal by any stretch, but you know what? It is time to inspire myself.

Losing weight at college, borders on f**king impossible. Between the drinking, cafeteria food and late night studying, it is NOT easy. Add to that, tomorrow is Halloween and now I have to watch all these skinny sorority ho-bags dress like french maids, or cats or whatever the hell the whore outfit is this year. All I am saying, is that I can’t look to TV shows to be inspired.

I have been writing for CollegeCandy for a while now, and all the time I have been trying to figure out where this is going. For me, it is an outlet – an outlet to try and find a way for us all to relate. Tonight, I learned it is ok to not be happy with my weight, but it is not a game. I need to take my life in my hands. Not through watching TV looking for inspiration, but rather inspiring myself at the expense of idiots who parade themselves as fools for all the world to see.

Thank you.

At the gym this morning I caught a segment on some talk show about cheating. Basically, the show was about agencies that helped people find out if their mate was cheating on them, and if such spy agencies were even ethical.

One of the panelists on the show was “relationship expert” and author Steve Santagati, a “former model and bad boy” who penned The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date, and Mate–and What Women Can Do to Come Out on Top.

I’ve caught Santagati’s TV appearances before, and each time I see his smug face on camera I can’t help but throw up a little and shake my head at all the women who actually buy anything written by such an obvious egoist.

My distaste aside, Santagati never actually said anything revolting during those appearances, so I had nothing to confirm my gut reaction—until this morning.

When it came time for Mr. “Manual” to weigh in on the cheating issue, Santagati had a whole bunch of things on his “Not Cheating” list.

Flirting with a girl who’s not your girlfriend? Not cheating. Sending flirty text messages to a girl who’s not your girlfriend? Not cheating. Getting the number of a girl who’s not your girlfriend? Not cheating. Walking into a hotel with a girl who’s not your girlfriend with the intent of sleeping with her but not actually doing it because the girl backs out? Not cheating.

After watching video footage of a guy who was married for 15 years walk into a hotel with a spy agency “decoy” (a woman who pretends to want a suspected cheater), Santagati maintained that because the decoy pulled out before intercourse took place, the deadbeat husband was totally not cheating!

The women on the panel obviously went after Santagati, and after a few minutes of trying to defend himself, the “relationship expert” reverted back to the idiot I always knew he was by shouting something very close to “oh please, if I put my hand in your hair you’re coming home with me tonight!”

Santagati’s caveman speak (aka: I could totally make you cheat simply by being my douchebaggy self) hurt his already stupid cheating argument by illustrating the fact that only straight-up assholes think intending to cheat doesn’t count as cheating itself.

“Doing anything you wouldn’t do in front of the person you love” is how one panelist on the show described cheating, and I completely agree with her. Nobody needs a “relationship expert” (or “manwhore”) to define the complexities of the act.

Cheating is simple; those who make it complicated and open-ended are people like Santagati—self-servers who most likely think of doing it themselves.

In my dating experience, I have gone back and forth. After getting my heart broken by the asshole frat guy, I opted for a more conservative wholesome dude. The only problem was that I had to force myself to be attracted to the latter and eventually gave up on that after a few months. I have now settled somewhere in the middle with my current bf. Or at least I’ll keep telling myself that.

Regardless, I do think that nice guys tend to get the short end of the deal; I stumbled upon a website recently with many entertaining reasons why women tend to prefer bad guys, from a woman’s point of view.

Here are a few of my personal favorites from the list that I found funny and actually somewhat true:

“Nice guys feel so undeserving of ‘awesome you’ that they make you feel that you have, most assuredly, picked a real loser.”

“Nice guys sit there like passive puppies, waiting for their girl to make all the moves. This is because woman love to feel undesirable.”

“Nice Guys really don’t like themselves. Insecurity is not sexy, it is suffocating, clinging and obsessive. Issues with nice men are unbearable. Issues with jerks are workable.”

Okay, okay, maybe some of these are a bit harsh. But check out the list and see for yourself who you side with.