Yet, for Halloween, “grow up” doesn’t have to always involve wearing see-through lingerie and animal ears and calling yourself a “Sexy Kitten.”  There’s a difference between “Sexy Kitten” and “Naked Kitten,” something that many girls don’t want to understand.  I’m all for celebrating the one night a year when you can dress seductively in public and nobody can say a word, but I’m also all for those girls who realize they don’t have to look like a total hooker to get into the Halloween spirit.

So if you’re stumped for ideas this year that don’t involve thongs, ass-less chaps, or stripper shoes, here are a few ideas that are sexy but don’t make guys stop and question if you’ll be charging for sex later on:

Hipster: But, let’s be real, Hipsters are not sexy.

Wayne & Garth (Wayne’s World): Ingredients: a brunette and blonde, black t-shirt, trucker hats, glasses, plaid shirt, ripped jeans (all things easily found in a dorm). Imagine how much warmer you’ll be instead of freezing your culo off. Speaking of culo…

Chola: To some, that brown lip liner and drawn-in eyebrows look may be sexy, but since it’s more likely to scare the crap out of people, it’s even more perfect for Halloween.

Risky business broad: Oversize white button-down, socks, wayfarer sunglasses, some booty shorts (or, if you’re willing, tighty-whiteys) and if you want to add a hint of seduction, add a red bra.  A little sexiness won’t kill you…

Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, or that OxyClean Guy: Or anyone else who really stood out in 2009. Octomom? Jon Gosselin? Swine Flu? Lady Gaga? (Though I would avoid her costume with the fireworks boobs…that might get dangerous.)

Something actually SCARY: You can never fail with the classics: Witch, Vampire, Ghost, Zombie, Mummy, or just go as a dead version of yourself (always attractive).

Those creepy Guitar Hero characters: Everyone who is anyone (or everyone who will do anything not to study) has spent a long time looking at those band-members rocking out while you jam on the drums. If those don’t work, what about Mario Kart people? Or that crazy DDR dancer?

If you have the metaphorical balls and artistic capability: Then start tallying up how many people that will want a picture with you.

Decades: The 20th century had a pretty unique style in every decade, from the  flapper, to the beatnik, to the grunge girl and beyond.  With so many options to play around with, you must feel so conflicted.

After all those techno remixes to Monster Mash, pounding Courvoisier shotsk’s every time they say “Shots” in the song “Shots“, and the possibility of spending the night in someone else’s bed, you’ll be glad you skipped out doing the walk o’ shame in a bumblebee outfit.  Just hide under your Wayne’s World hat and plaid shirt and vow to never drink again until next Halloween.

And bonus points if you get laid while dressed as Garth…I would shake your hand right now.

Then, she got her own talk show and decided it was time to push her “I’ll say and do anything for ratings” image. Now, she’s a complete nut bag, she’s all over the television no matter what time of day it is, no matter what channel you turn to, and it’s like – okay. You’re crazy, Tyra. You’re out of your mind. We get it. Now shut up.

They say three strikes and you’re out. Well, here are just three of Tyra’s many recent strikes that have sent her from fierce to f*cking crazy:

1. This clip of Tyra going bat-shit crazy for Vaseline. Hey, I like petroleum jelly just as much as the next girl – it’s great for make-up remover and whatever else your dirty minds can cook up. But do I love it as much as she does? Should anyone love it as much as she does? Ummm, no.

2. Her dress at the Daytime Emmy Awards. WTF is this? Not only is it an ugly dress, but I hate it when you can tell a celebrity is only wearing an outfit for attention, and not because he or she actually likes it. I don’t care who designed this or how expensive it is; this is almost as bad as Brooke Hogan’s denim, assless chaps….almost.

3. Tyra demonstrating on her talk show, in front of her live audience and millions of confused viewers how to pee without sitting on the toilet seat. “You gotta pull your panties forward, and then pee.” Wow. Thanks, Tyra. I had no idea. Is anyone else kind of insulted by her need to actually pop a squat for us?

I think Ms. Banks should take a nice, long vacation, get some rest and come back to us when she’s good, rested and not quite as insane.

Nothing a little Vaseline can’t cure, right?!?