In this ep, Dina and Ali struggle with the dilemma of getting older (Ali feels the need to express maturity by exposing as mush flesh as possible, and Dina attempts to avoid the process all together). There is a scramble to finish Ali’s album after she strikes Jeremy’s involvement in the project. E-man comes back (who I, inexpicably and until now, thought was this guy ) resurrect Ali’s now incomplete LP. His new song is pretty damn good, and Ali sounds quite decent singing it.

Regardless of voice quality though, her clothing (and I state the following with the full knowledge that I sound like my Nana) is highly indecent. If Ali’s sole purpose this half hour was to expose as much flesh as possible, she beyond succeeded. I’m talking more copious amounts of mid-driff than usual people. In one scene she actually wears what I believe to be a short, Lycra unitard. After I stopped laughing at my use of the word unitard, I pondered how she manages not to suffocate her vagina.

All thoughts of Ali Lohan’s vajay aside, I snapped back to reality (television, that is) to see a Chris Crocker look alike stalking Dina at the gym. Turns out he’s a choreographer. After checking out his myspace page, DiLo calls him and for some reason feels the urge to say “Yes it’s really me,” and agrees to check out his moves at the Pearl. This is the beginning of what I believe to be a beautiful and staged relationship between a gay man and hetero woman. Read More »

While settling in for an evening of the shameless self promotion that is Denise Richards: It’s Complicated, I grew more and more excited for the return of Jeremy to Living Lohan (coincidentally, I got a double dose of the self promo). As I anticipated seeing his sunken, stubbly cheeks, I wondered if Ali and Dina would remain blinded by the reflection of Jeremy’s aviators, causing them to overlook (again) his shadiness. Finally, Ali calls Jeremy out on his attempts to ride her (very short) coattails.

When he arrives at the Palms, in all his hoodie rocking glory, Jeremy storms into the studio like he owns it (in his delusional post-coke bender world, he probably does.) He wastes no time in bragging to anyone who will listen (the people Dina pays to sit around the studio) about how sick of a producer he is. This is the first of many examples of unprofessional behavior that Jeremy chooses to demonstrate. Big surprise, Jeremy’s shamelessly plugging his shiz on Ali & Dina’s pay. Ali–realizing good ol’ Jer isn’t even in the studio with her, but in another room playing his Garage Band mixes for studio execs rolling their eyes at him– gets an inkling that Jeremy be more concerned with his career than hers. GASP! Read More »