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	<title>CollegeCandy &#187; attention</title>
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		<title>I Don’t Want a Boyfriend</title>
		<link>http://collegecandy.com/2009/04/05/i-don%e2%80%99t-want-a-boyfriend/</link>
		<comments>http://collegecandy.com/2009/04/05/i-don%e2%80%99t-want-a-boyfriend/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 05 Apr 2009 19:00:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Leah - Ryerson University</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[attention]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[boyfriend]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[date]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Independent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jealousy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[long distance relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[obligation]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[relationship talk]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[single status]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.collegecandy.com/?p=17346</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I try and live by a "don't knock it till you try it" attitude. I've tried the relationship thing, so now I can knock it.<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=collegecandy.com&#038;blog=860993&#038;post=17346&#038;subd=collegecandy&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignright" src="http://static.thefrisky.com/images/uploads/Girl_happy_main.jpg" alt="happy single girl" align="left" />I try and live by a &#8220;don&#8217;t knock it till you try it&#8221; attitude. I&#8217;ve tried the relationship thing, so now I can knock it.</p>
<p>And I find the single life superior.</p>
<p>I know a lot of people that are perfectly content in relationships, and I commend them for that &#8212; but that doesn&#8217;t mean I want one.  I enjoy the single life &#8212; heck, I don&#8217;t even mind the dating stage, but there are so many reasons why I don&#8217;t want a boyfriend.</p>
<p>First off, there&#8217;s the logistics of it.  I spend 8 months of the year on one side of the country, and 4 on the other.  Seeing as I don&#8217;t believe in <a href="http://www.collegecandy.com/reality/10914">long distance relationships</a>, this makes it near impossible to have a boyfriend.  I know, some people would probably say that it wouldn&#8217;t be so bad if I meant the right person, but I don&#8217;t want to!  I have trouble keeping in touch with my friends long distance, and definitely don&#8217;t want to worry about a boy.</p>
<p>Secondly, there&#8217;s the whole title thing.  I hate the word boyfriend.  It feels very possessive to me, and seems to complicate things unnecessarily.  I&#8217;m generally super independent, but when the titles come out, I become this gross clingy person I don&#8217;t like.  But these are just specific to me.  There are lots of other, more general reasons why I don&#8217;t want a boyfriend.  And while you can call me selfish, I&#8217;m sure lots of other single ladies will agree.<span id="more-17346"></span></p>
<p><strong>Obligation </strong>&#8211; who wants to have to shave their legs all the time?  Or attend events that don&#8217;t really matter to them?  And it goes both ways.  I&#8217;d much rather do something with friends that share an interest in it than attempt to drag an unwilling victim err&#8230; date.</p>
<p><strong>Attention</strong> &#8212; I&#8217;m a busy person, and if I dated another equally busy college student, making time for each other would probably be difficult.  Add friends into the mix, and you&#8217;ve got to make a choice. And that blows. I don&#8217;t want to compete with a group of smelly college boys for the attention of a guy.  Likewise, I don&#8217;t want to have to sacrifice time with <a href="http://www.collegecandy.com/reality/8878">my girls</a>.</p>
<p><strong><a href="http://www.collegecandy.com/reality/6039">Jealousy</a> </strong>&#8211; Fact: People in relationships get jealous.  I don&#8217;t want to have to keep tabs on a boyfriend, or have him worry about me with other guys.  I have a large group of guy friends, and I&#8217;ve dated people that are threatened by them.  I don&#8217;t want to have to choose!</p>
<p><strong>Cost</strong> &#8212; I, like most other students, am usually broke.  It&#8217;s hard finding <a href="http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/16837">cheap things</a> to do on dates, especially things you both want to do.  So I&#8217;d rather save my money and spend it on things I want to do.</p>
<p><strong>Titles</strong> &#8212; In order to get to this stage you have to have the dreaded &#8220;<a href="http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/15998">what are we and where are we going</a>&#8221; talk.  YIKES!</p>
<p><strong>Fun</strong> &#8212; Think of all the experiences you&#8217;d miss out if you had a man in your life.  We all have those nights we want to forget, but that doesn&#8217;t mean that we regret them.  There&#8217;s some experiences you can only get away with when you&#8217;re young (<a href="http://www.collegecandy.com/haha/16343">The Morning After Recap</a> &#8212; cute in your 20s, not so cute later on in life) and I&#8217;d personally hate to think I missed out on some quintessential university experiences.</p>
<p><em>I know I&#8217;m not the only one out there that likes the single life.  What are the reasons you don&#8217;t want a boyfriend?</em></p>
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		<slash:comments>54</slash:comments>
	
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			<media:title type="html">Leah - Ryerson University</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">happy single girl</media:title>
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		<title>Hey, I&#8217;ve Seen You Naked&#8230;Nice Weather We&#8217;re Having</title>
		<link>http://collegecandy.com/2008/09/26/lhhey-ive-seen-you-nakednice-weather-were-having/</link>
		<comments>http://collegecandy.com/2008/09/26/lhhey-ive-seen-you-nakednice-weather-were-having/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 26 Sep 2008 13:10:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathryn S</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[approach]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[attention]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[aversion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[awkward]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[boyfriend]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[clingy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[controlling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conversation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cringe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[discussion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ego]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[embarrassing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fatal attraction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[flirt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fool around]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[foreplay]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Forward]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[girlfriend]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[honesty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hook up]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[ignore]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[psycho]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.collegecandy.com/sex/12280</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>Just because you&#8217;ve finally hooked up with someone, doesn&#8217;t mean anything has been solidified or any questions have been answered.  In fact, the love sesh may have raised even more questions: was it good? Was it just a fling, or were there feelings involved? Is it going to happen again? Should you regret it? Does he regret it? Can you go back in time and pretend it never happened?</p>
<p>Depending on the relationship you had with the guy before the &#8230;</p><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=collegecandy.com&#038;blog=860993&#038;post=12280&#038;subd=collegecandy&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://collegecandy.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/18/worried-girl.jpg?w=287&h=429" alt="worried-girl.jpg" align="left" height="429" width="287" />Just because you&#8217;ve finally hooked up with someone, doesn&#8217;t mean anything has been solidified or any questions have been answered.  In fact, the love sesh may have raised even more questions: was it good? Was it just a fling, or were there feelings involved? Is it going to happen again? Should you regret it? Does he regret it? Can you go back in time and pretend it never happened?</p>
<p>Depending on the relationship you had with the guy before the hook-up; the scenarios in which you&#8217;ll interact after the hook-up; and how much discussion you had before, during, and after the hook-up, the first &#8220;reunion&#8221; can be totally smooth, or completely cringe-worthy.  And, for the record, the first reunion does not include your first words the morning after when both of you are still in bed&#8230;naked&#8230;and possiby still drunk.</p>
<p>How do you deal?  If your first meeting with your last fling falls into one of the following categories, you need to work on your post-play approach.</p>
<p>1.  <strong>The Awkward Aversion</strong></p>
<p>You don&#8217;t know how he feels, and if it means avoiding rejection, you&#8217;re fine not knowing.  You may respond to his presence by interrupting someone else&#8217;s conversation to avoid having to talk to him, fumbling with your phone to appear busy, or simply leaving the room.  This will come off as either immature or disinterested.  If he does like you and you blatantly ignore him, he&#8217;ll think you regret it.  Unlike girls who want what they can&#8217;t have, guys are more likely to give up if you&#8217;ve bruised their ego.  If you do like him, I suggest developing a different method.<span id="more-12280"></span></p>
<p>2.  <strong>The &#8220;Sex? What Sex? We Never Had Sex&#8221; Approach</strong></p>
<p>You&#8217;re trying to play it cool.  Too cool.  You smile at him -great!- and follow it with a punch to the shoulder and a &#8220;Hey, buddy! Did you catch Monday Night Football last night?&#8221;  You probably won&#8217;t catch his eye for more than a nanosecond, and rapidly come up with small-talk conversation starters because you&#8217;re afraid of a lull in the conversation, which may or may not lead to the line, &#8220;Should we talk about last Saturday?&#8221;  You may use this approach if you were comfortable with him before, and afraid that you&#8217;ve ruined the friendship (or acquaintanceship) you used to share with the guy.  This could be taken two ways: like the aversion approach, your guy could assume that you want to forget about it; on the other hand, you could come off as being too casual in the wake of the hook-up.  Perhaps you&#8217;ve done this before, and often.</p>
<p>3.  <strong>The Shameless Strut</strong></p>
<p>You want him to remember what he had, and want it again.  Even if you aren&#8217;t looking for a relationship, you want the satisfaction of knowing he&#8217;s still attracted to the cow after he&#8217;s gotten the milk for free.  If you anticipate the reunion, you dress up for the occasion.  Even if it&#8217;s unexpected, you immediately try to be the center of attention and the life of the party, so he can see that along with your hot looks you&#8217;ve got a great personality.  Perhaps you&#8217;ll even place yourself in the middle of a passionate conversation with another guy, just so the recent fling will see what a hot commodity you are.  But this isn&#8217;t the best idea; like the &#8220;We never had sex&#8221; approach, this can make you look like you bedhop more often than a European backpacker.</p>
<p>4.  <strong>The Far-Too-Forward Front</strong></p>
<p>He obviously wanted you on Saturday, so why should he feel differently on Monday?  As soon as he enters the room, you&#8217;re glued to his side, cracking inside jokes that you shared last weekend (well, inside jokes to you, but neurotically minimal details to him).  You find flirty ways to touch him, and don&#8217;t let him get a word in edgewise with any other girl in the room.  This move immediately raises a red flag, because even if he was interested in moving into a relationship, he&#8217;s now seeing the next few months flash before his eyes, and it involves a clingy, controlling girlfriend.  It&#8217;s the moment when you brush his hair out of his eyes and call him a brand new nickname that he realizes how much he loves being single.</p>
<p>5.  <strong>The Fatal Attraction Fiasco</strong></p>
<p>Your first meeting with him since -<em> you know</em> &#8211; is an encounter with him and at least one other girl.  It could be as harmless as him tutoring a girl from his English class, or talking to a few old female friends around a keg.  Maybe he&#8217;s simply holding a door for a stranger who happens to possess two X-chromosomes.  No matter how innocent, it triggers some sort of jealous rage that prompts you to bitch him out, call him a player, and basically look like a complete psycho.  Do I need to explain why this is going to put him off?</p>
<p>It can be difficult to play your cards right the first time you bump into a former fling, especially if you have your own doubts about the way you left things when you said goodbye.  The best thing to do is be yourself, and try to read his own body language.  If you want to talk about what happened, approach the subject honestly, and at the right moment.  You don&#8217;t want to call him out in front of your friends, but you also don&#8217;t want to corner him and put him on the spot to evaluate all of his feelings for you.</p>
<p>If you play it cool, you have a far better chance of getting what you what (if it&#8217;s him that you want), and if things don&#8217;t work out, good news: you&#8217;re young, you&#8217;re single, and you&#8217;re on a college campus with thousands of other cuties to choose from.</p>
<p align="center"><em>Join CollegeCandy&#8217;s <a href="http://www.new.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=2209826068">Facebook group</a> for more relationship (or not so much) stories and advice! </em></p>
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			<media:title type="html">Kathryn S</media:title>
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