Before he left, The Hoff made this prediction/menacing threat:

“He is going to steal the hearts of every American watching the show.”

That prophecy came to fruition during last night’s two-hour Vegas episode. The judges whittled the 113 acts down to 60, and on Thursday they’ll cut 20 more before the pool of contestants is set for the live episodes.

David upped his game and with two minor additions that made it impossible for the judges to send him packing; a little tuxedo, and an alliance with the youngest contestant in the competition, Kaitlyn Maher. Separate they are just two cute little kids, but put them together (holding hands no less!) and the viewing public is powerless. The two little ones beat out individuals three times their age (in their own age bracket no less) and both moved on to the semi-final round. But were we surprised? Voting them off would be like putting Milo & Otis to sleep.

So David is safe for another day. My guess is that his next performance will be a duet with a basket of yellow-lab puppies or newborn babies. Can he be stopped?

[Photo: CBSNews.com]

We watched a ticker in the top right-hand corner of the screen, creeping closer and closer to the moment when our minds would explode on impact after viewing the MOST SHOCKING AUDITION EVER. See that people? I used caps lock.

My heart is currently pounding with nervous anticipation. Here goes nothing!

Heeeeeeeeey! Wait a minute. I’ve been duped. The only thing truly shocking about that exchange was French Stewart’s date-rape joke. This just in: sexual assault is still not a laughing matter. Poor taste buddy. It’s clear now why he slipped into irrelevancy shortly after 3rd Rock went off the air.

I was too distracted to focus on the rest of the program. But here’s what else happened …in haiku form

Acts from two countries

Funnier than in the past

Judges picked wisely

Add a haiku or two in the comments. Two points for rhymes!

Photo: NBC.com

Wannabe’s of all different ages and music genres will compete in a battle of the bands week after week. Ten semi-finalists will perform in front of a live audience and much to the tune of American Idol, each week will feature a new musical theme. Garage bands will have to scat some jazz, while jazz bands will have to rock-out. The show will end in a head-to-head finale of the top three bands. A competition of bands seems much more exciting to me. More drama between the bands and let us not forget, more sexy guys playing guitars.

So this is your chance to put down your hairbrush and air guitars and try out for the real thing. For more info on how to audition click here.

And hey, if you aren’t musically talented (ahem, it took me a few years after I realized I can’t sing to let go of my wannabe pop star dream) but still want to try out, you can always end up as the next William Hung. Fame is fame right?

For some reason, I was surprised by this mainly because of the popularity and success of the show. I figured that any schmuck who could sew a button onto a jacket would fight for a chance to be Tim Gunn’s next prodigy.

So, what I’m trying to say is that if you have an ounce of designing talent in you…Go to the next audition! If they’re running low and trying to scrounge up people, you have that much better of a chance. I did a little research into when and where the next open call auditions are taking place…

Miami: April 5

New York City: April 7-9

Check out bravotv.com for more information

Sound like a long shot? In my opinion, if Santino was able to make it onto the last season, then I think it’s possible for just about anyone!