The Hills: Sorry Boo, Justin’s a Turd
Back when JB was doin’ his thang with Audrina, we hated him for many reasons. Obviously, he was treating her like dirt, but he also had long, greasy hair, wore ugly hats and burped at the dinner table. G-to the-ross. When Krisin came into the picture it seemed that, much like his hygiene, Justin Bobby had cleaned up his act.
The Hills: The Plot (and Justin Bobby’s Beard) Thickens
While I have had many moments in my long and tumultuous relationship with The Hills where I found myself angry, disturbed or just plain annoyed with what was happening in these Botoxed/bleached/rich for no reason peoples’ lives, I can count on one hand the times I’ve laughed. One finger, actually.

The Hills: Strike 48 for Justin Bobby
So The Hills was on last night. 22 minutes of bikinis, bitching and Spencer in a cowboy hat. And seriously, that’s about it. While I usually stare at the TV open-mouthed at the absurd drama happening over in Hollywood, last night I just sat there, eyes glazed over with that “Whaaaa?” look you’d expect to find on Caitlin Upton’s face.
The Hills: I Hate Someone More Than Spencer
I wanted to like Kristin – really, I did. She is spunky and blunt (like me) and she has the kind of perfect hair and style that I strive for. Basically, she’s a much better version of me. Or so I thought. After last night’s episode I think I might hate that bitch more than Spencer Pratt. And no, it has nothing to do with her choice to wear white shorts and white Keds after 1995.
Candy Dish: Everyone’s Talking About Audrina Partridge
• Audrina Partridge hates Heidi Montags “music” too.
• What did Chris Brown have to say this time?
• This sorority took hazing a little too seriously.
• Megan Fox has a powerful vagina. Or something.
• Go ahead – wear white after Labor Day.
• These are some misleading signs…
The Hills: Spencer Pratt Makes an Apology
Anyone else forget that it was Monday yesterday? I spent my day BBQing with friends (or eating whatever they BBQed while I sat on the couch watching tv) only to come home, turn on my TV and realize I was halfway through The Hills. I was devastated (“SPENCER IS SUPPOSED TO APOLOGIZE TONIGHT!!”)…
Candy Dish: Lauren Conrad “Writes” A Book
• Pretty sure she had some help with this dribble.
• Are you wasting your time at the gym?
• Nikon is racist.
• Is Audrina Partridge boning the hottie from Star Trek?
• Britney spends a lot of money. Like, a LOT.
• Jazzhands!
• Are women pushovers when it comes to sex?

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• How to bargain shop in your city.
• Audrina Partridge getting a clothing line?
• Freshen up after a hot summer day.
• Another Heidi Montag trainwreck music video.
The Hills: Everyone Gets Kicked to the Curb
After watching some weird 80’s flashback episode of Gossip Girl, I was hoping for something a little more…er… modern entertaining when it came to The Hills last night. And besides that weird sequins headband thingy that Steph wore (and that I also wore in 1994 to a dance recital) MTV came through for me once again.
Candy Dish: Star Trek Rocks the Box Office
• So, Star Trek is cool now?
• Spring fashion hits the high seas.
• JT and Andy Samberg love moms.
• The secrets of The Biggest Loser!
• Have you been to a naked party?
• Happy 24th, Audrina Partridge!
The Hills: Is That Bar Really Called “Big Wangs”?
Tonight was a pretty stellar night. First, I worked out next to a total hottie on the elliptical (but didn’t muster up the courage in my sweaty ‘beater to say anything), then I came home and watched an AMAZING episode of Gossip Girl while eating an ice cream sandwich, and then Spencer and Heidi went to therapy.
The Hills: Justin REALLY Means It This Time
Wow. What a crappy episode of The Hills. Did anything really happen? Did that episode really las…