After running home to watch The Hills last week and finding it was a rerun, I had a personal moment of silence to mark the end of yet another amazing season.

I also had a little internal hissy fit at MTV for leaving me hanging with the Brody and LC dramatic kiss.

So, imagine my excitement when I get home from hanging out with some peeps this evening, flip through the stations and find an all new episode of The Hills starting right at that moment! Someone was definitely watching over me and I will be thanking him/her the next time I am near a synagogue.

Tonight’s episode was full of a bunch of random tid bits, but it all boils down to one thing for me: who do we trust?

Who is telling the truth about the LC sex tape/giant labia situation? There are so many players in this one that I decided to break it down so together we could try and blow this mystery wiiiiide open.

Jen Bunny: After months of not talking (probably due to Jen Bunny’s plastic surgery recovery time), JB texts Lauren and wants to grab lunch. Upon sitting down and ordering their bowls of lettuce with a side of lemon juice, Jen Bunny comes right down to it and tells Lauren that Brody spread the rumors. Then says that she doesn’t want to get involved. Iiiinteresting. Read More »

I don’t know about anyone else out there, but I for one am quite excited about the return of Lo to The Hills this season.

And how could you not? She coined “Justin-Bobby”!

She also happens to be the only normal person to ever appear on this damn network. And every episode makes me love her more, especially when she gets drunk and shows her biz-ness to the world.

But Lo’s va-jay is not the (only) reason I loved The Hills last night. It was the ever so glamorous trip to Vegas with a hint of Heidi/Spencer dramaa that really did me in. Oh, and by “drama” I mean yet another trip to that damn Mexican restaurant.

Oh and let me just say that watching Spencer sporting the beard makes me constantly wonder if I’m watching The Hills or watching that new show Cavemen.

But enough about that thing – let us focus ourselves back on the good stuff: Vegas. Read More »

Sorry for the tardiness of my post. I would like to say that I was out doing something fabulous Monday night that kept me away from both MTV and my computer, but I can’t lie.

In all reality, 3 days of drinking and 3 days of tanning really wreaked havoc on my body and left me completely passed out in my bed at 9PM last night.

Thankfully, I have DVR.

Which is amazing because, otherwise, I would have missed out on some really big things happening with our friends on The Hills.

Like the new beard Spencer is sporting, causing him to look like some new species of preppy mountain man. I really didn’t know anyone could grow facial hair that fluffy and scary looking.

Perhaps it is a cover for his homosexual feelings for Brody? I mean, after all, he was acting like a total bitch during the big break up convo. Which, by the way, reminded me of high school math.

If A = B and B= C, then A = C, right?

Well, in Spencer’s world it goes a little something like this: Read More »

Okay, Justin-Bobby, if that is even your real name, let’s talk. You don’t like me because I don’t like you. But, I can’t help it; when you wear swim shorts and a pair of army boots, what choice do I have?

When you ignore the obvious plight of your hair, what do you expect me to do? Sit back and let you believe girls like those greasy locks?

Maybe I could have let it go if you weren’t such an asshole. Maybe if you didn’t just say all those nice-ish (in your own special way) things to Audrina and then leave her at the party.

No goodbye. No explanation. Just a helmet. On a couch.

Fuck you.

But enough about you. There are much bigger things to discuss this week.

Namely: Spencer’s visit to Colorado and Brody’s Beach Partayy.

Visiting Mount Butt: Am I alone in this? Did everyone but me know that Heidi comes from a farm? Like a real farm! Not just a small town; there were ANIMALS at her house. How could a family that raises horses produce that bleached blonde, fake boobed bimbo? I just don’t understand it. Read More »

It is sad when the most exciting thing to happen on an episode of The Hills is watching Heidi do some manual labor. But, seriously, watching Heidi paint that wall was totally the pinnacle of the show. Especially how she used the whole wall situation to discuss a larger relationship issue with Spencer: making decisions together.

Oh, wait. No.

Heidi isn’t that deep! Her issue wasn’t with sharing and making decisions as one; she basically painted the wall because she was pissed that he bought all that boy stuff for the apartment. As much as I hate Spencer, though, even I understand the beauty of an 80’s video game.

But the wall was hideous.

Anyways, since there isn’t much to really discuss from the episode I like to call “30 Minutes of Nothing” I will take what little time I have to discuss the creature they call, Justin-Bobby. Read More »

It finally happened.

After months of waiting – and an amazingly saucy lesbian version of Engaged and Underage – season three of The Hills finally premiered. I had no doubts that the show was going to be top notch, but after watching such a ridiculous ep of Engaged and Underage (full of lesbian fights, make out scenes and a whole lotta white dresses), I really didn’t know if my show could live up to all of my original expectations.

Well, my friends, did it ever!

Let the recap begin! And there is no better place to star than at the beginning.

Like with Whitney (shockingly!!!) getting a full time job at Teen Vogue. Oh, and LC returning for her third consecutive year as an intern…because everyone gets a three year internship! I mean, one semester isn’t standard or anything. All huge fashion mags invite their not-famous-at-all interns back for a few more years. Read More »