It’s officially almost August, the month where everyone seems to realize in a collective stress-bomb – that summer is almost puttering to an end. I don’t know what happens to June and July, they get shoved into summer’s trunk like a murder mystery and I always want to make the most of my August once it rolls around.

So while we count down the days to summers end, I figured why not begin a little end-of-summer bucket list (before stores everywhere start sending me coupons for thick knit sweaters and those weird things that zip up your leg…boots…is that what they’re called? Great, I’m ready to put on my flip flops and get started. Take these simple 31 tips (duh, one for each day in August) and make sure you fulfill every single one before summer peaces its way outta dodge.

1. Walk into the CVS Pharmacy just because you’re so hot your inner thighs are stuck together.

2. Get one of those awkward sunburns on your lower back because, while you were trying to be a good person by lathering up, you’re not perfect and your arms aren’t that long. And what kind of freak can reach that portion of your backside?

3. Secretly hate on the chick that can wear those baggy, thin shorts that make it look like you’re wearing a diaper if you ever tried to wear them.

4. Never apologize for accidentally checking out the construction workers on your way to work or class in the morning. What? They’re tan, wearing hard hats and their veins are popping out, how was I suppose to know he’s forty?

5. Go into a movie by yourself. And smuggle whatever you can in the biggest purse you own. You are a frugal, stealthy and independent woman. And it’s cold and dark in the theater. Ideal summer cooling mechanism.

6. Go to a baseball game and blame the fact you don’t know what inning it is on the Summer Shandy.

7. Pop for a Venti iced drink from Starbucks at least three times a week. For two fighting reasons: just trying to hydrate; just trying to save the coffee maker for the cold, winter months.

8. Make out dramatically in a summer rainstorm.

9. Whatever, I’ll say it – take a nice long pee in the lake.

10. Buy a dumb straw hat that doesn’t match any of your outfits, that you will only wear once or never.

11. Roll around with some saucy dude in a tent under the stars (wanted to make this sound semi-classy.)

12. Sign up for a month of yoga classes. Go once.

13. Count treading water in the shallow end of the pool as a legitimate workout regimen.

14. Almost flip your sh*t if you see an ice cream truck, sprint after it.

15. Cook fresh kabobs and burn them to a crisp because you’re freaked out about accidentally eating raw chicken.

16. Play beach volleyball and try to get that sexy “shake n’ bake” look to happen with your sweaty calves and the sand.

17. Buy a stupid, moronic amount of magazines at the grocery store, waste your money on coconut water and sit by the pool until you are sweating out of your eyes and have black ink all over your finger tips from melting magazine syndrome.

18. Find a body of water and sit next to it with a Blue Moon.

19. Have a water balloon fight, even if it hurts when the balloons hit you and don’t break.

20. Make your boyfriend run a cherry popsicle down your chest on a hot day like Cosmo tells you to and realize how awkward it is when he licks it off.

21. Sit on a deck and play the penis game when people walk by.

22. Paint your toenails hot pink with white polka dots.

23. Go to the zoo and eat churros or cotton candy and have staring contests with the gorillas.

24. Hate on the girl that wears the body suit with the pattern of your Grandmother’s couch to the beach, and still looks good. And then go eat an ice cream cone the size of your head.

25. Get caught at a stoplight in your car singing to a passionate and ball-busting song.

26. Get messy. Play in puddles. Stick your toes in wet mud. Let your feet get a little grungy in your flippy floppies. Leave your hair beach blown.

27. Go to an early happy hour on a patio. Shop. Catch the late happy hour on the patio.

28. Vow to never ever wear a grey cotton skirt to a nerve racking work meeting ever again.

29. Watch a sunset. To hell with the sunrise. Sleep in.

30. Eat Cheese-Its on a boat because they taste better that way.

31. Take a nap under a shady oak tree, wake up and have no idea where you are or where you came from.

Moving on. This month’s Cosmo wrapped up the last summer weeks and didn’t waste any time doing it. In a ‘Moves That’ll Make Him Melt’ article, Cosmo asked 100 dudes on the street their favorite weather seduction tricks. 15% of these weirdos claimed their number one seduction move was “Let me hose you down while you’re wearing a white tee shirt.” While I see the sex appeal in this, I also see little kids riding their three-wheels down the street starring at the wet t-shirt contest happening on the driveway. “Daddy, why are her boobies looking at me?”

After grazing past a pointless Facebook status decoder, a brief article on how to tell if he’s married, and a Bieber Beardology article (don’t ask – you don’t want to know) I ran across an interesting statistic. Did you know 36 percent of men say they’re more attracted to a woman if they’re using an iPad? As opposed to using what else, Cosmo? And where was this survey taken? A Genius Bar?

Then in a ridiculous Cosmo Life Weekend special, Cosmo laid out “His Perfect Weekend” in an upside down pyramid. Yep, like the food pyramid. Clearly, whoever made this was hungry and has completely lost all common sense about the male species. His favorite way to spend the weekend? Apparently, laying low with the GF…maybe renting a movie. I could see that, until I read the activity at the bottom of the pyramid (you know, where the Splenda and Carbs usually fit in); watching the game with his friends. OK Cosmo, in no way am I offended that he would probably rather fart on the couch and watch the NHL with his dudes, so let’s try not to make excuses for it, mmmk?

Now, like usual, I’ve come back to that funny bone tickle I find in Cosmo’s monthly sex article. One, because they usually make me extremely uncomfortable. Two, because when I imagine myself doing anything Cosmo tells me to do – I get a sympathy cramp. And it’s usually in my crotch. Apparently, guys do too. Because this month, “Guys Rate 50 Sex Moves.” Oh goodie, guy tested – penis approved? Is that what they say?

Cosmo Say’s: Asking him to give you a lap dance. Guys say: “Whoa, please skip it.”

Brittany Say’s: There it is, the under layer of reasoning as to why I was really meant to date Channing Tatum. Wasn’t he a stripper before he shook his hips like a salt shaka’ on Step Up? I need me a man that can bump it up against me from time to time.

Cosmo Say’s: Gently biting his penis. Guys say: “Go for it; that’s amazingly hot.”

Brittany Say’s: Ok, the text did read, gently biting your penis. Not treating it like a God and touching it all day while you watch Entourage in the darkness. Last time I checked, biting was for twinkies and tigers. Not under the belt buckle.

Cosmo Say’s: Spanking his butt with a spatula. Guys say: “Whoa, please skip it.”

Brittany Say’s: Oh, so everything I learned on the school bus in 7th grade was a complete lie? Who can I TRUST anymore??

Cosmo Say’s: Putting your finger in his butt. Guys say: “Whoa, please skip it.”

Brittany Say’s: WHAT? They don’t like a little “thumbs up” from behind from time to time for recognition? Blown away by this Cosmo. Blown. Away.

At least Scotland has the Edinburgh Festival; here in the States, August is the month where summer days go to die, and when poor little children have to put down their toys and go back to school.

BUT, I’m here to tell you it doesn’t have to be all bad; we’re just going to make the best of it. And it’s really not hard. There’s lots goin’ on in August.  Like cheese? It’s National Goat Cheese Month. Wanna be like Tiger Woods? National Golf Month. Starting your own business? Home Business Month and National Inventors Month. August doesn’t have to be all bad.

Aug 1- MTV Debuted
On this day in 1981, music videos found their home on the instantly-popular, new music channel: MTV. As you know, they’ve expanded now to not only include music (or, should I say, not include music at all), but reality shows as well. Get your 15 seconds (or an entire season) of fame by being on the Real World, which is casting right now! Or if the 24/7 camera-in-the-face non-stop-drama lifestyle doesn’t appeal to you, then apply for Made or True Life, both of which have considerably less screaming and flashing.

Aug 2 – National Ice Cream Sandwich Day
Ok, these may not be in sandwich form, but custom-made, mix-your-own ice cream?! I SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM.

Aug 12- Middle Children’s Day (who knew it existed? And does this mean us middle kids can finally get the love and attention we deserve?!)
Aug 13- International Left-Handers Day

Aug 15 - International Homeless Animals Day
Observed on the third Saturday of August every year, this day promotes the safety and well-being of animals, which you can be a part of by attending a vigil, or simply lighting a candle. Or, if you’re really feeling charitable, you can head to a local shelter and bring a puppy home! Those are allowed in the dorms, right?

Aug 19- Bill Clinton‘s birthday
Aug 21- Ramadan begins
Aug 22- Be An Angel Day (Do what you will with this one…)
Aug 24- Strange Music Day
Aug 26- National Dog Day
Aug 27- Mother Teresa’s birthday

Aug 28- Dream Day
Martin Luther King Jr. gave the “I Have a Dream” speech in 1963 and inspired the world to follow his example. Dare to dream.

Aug 31- National Trail Mix Day
Just like ice cream- mix your own at YouBar!

Of course, there is also the whole back to school thing, and while studying doesn’t sound like fun, Welcome Week does!

The August issue of Cosmo brings us this year’s annual “Hot Issue” (not to be confused with the “Sexy” issue). Cosmo informs the general female public on how to get and stay hot with helpful tips such as  putting shaving cream in your hair and telling your boyfriend he’s hot—before someone else does. (I especially enjoyed this article because they used John and Elizabeth Edwards as the example couple, Hot Issue indeed!)

Besides a semi-interesting interview with Katy Perry and a tabloid-esque dissection of R-Patz and K-Stew’s body language, Cosmo introduced me to my new favorite mascara and taught me how to rub fruit all over my face and hair to look hotter. These were all great tips, but it wouldn’t be Cosmo without a ridiculous article, and this month’s “He’s Perfect But…” had me LOL-ing from my first glimpse.

Basically, Cosmo helps girls who’ve managed to find a decent, normal boyfriend nitpick until they find flaws, and then assists said ladies to “fix” their boyfriends. Here are a few gems of helpful advice if he’s perfect but…:

He wears fugly man jewelry.

Cosmo Says: “Next time he wears his flair, enlist a girlfriend to poke fun at him.” If that doesn’t work, have another friend tease him, because he’s more likely to take fashion advice from women besides you. “Plus, you get the point across without having to be the bad guy.”

Kari Says: Cosmo, how would you feel if your “perfect” boyfriend asked all of his friends to make fun of you? I thought so. Intentionally trying to demean someone you love just because of some over-zealous accessorizing seems pretty immature, not to mention sneaky and lame. If you’re the one who doesn’t like his hideous jewelry, then you should be the one to tell him, not your besties.

He calls everyone buddy.

Cosmo Says: Tell him that his term of endearment reminds you of your senile grandpa. “Now that you’ve planted the idea that he sounds dated, he’ll feel self-conscious about his buddy habit and it’ll fade.’

Kari Says: Again with the purposeful cruelty! My boyfriend pisses me off sometimes but I mostly try to avoid making him feel “self-conscious.” And the comparison to Pop Pop? It’s more likely to cause negative repercussions on your sex life than a positive change in his vocab.

He chews with his mouth open.

Cosmo Says: “Whip out your cell and claim you just want to make a cute video of dinner. Record several seconds of his chewing, then show him the clip, with his face in close up mode.”

Kari Says: First of all, if my man thought it was perfectly normal behavior for me to film him eating “just to make a cute video,” we’d have bigger issues than his nasty dining habits. Second of all, if you think using your cell (let alone video mode) during dinner is acceptable, your boyfriend isn’t the only one who needs to brush up on his manners. A better suggestion? Buy an etiquette book and read it together.

He’s always late.

Cosmo Says: The next time he’s late, ditch him. “When he calls to see where you are, nonchalantly explain that you took off. The shock of you not being there will help him reform his ways.”

Kari Says: Or, instead of taking the underhanded and passive aggressive route, I could explain to my chronically tardy sweetheart that the fashionably late rule does not apply when it comes to date night. A simple explanation of why it bothers me would probably earn an apology and some punctuality, instead of a stood-up and pissed off boyfriend. Plus, I’d get to actually enjoy the date instead of sulking alone while he figures out why I really pulled a no show.

What do you think? Are any of these flaws dealbreakers? Would you use Cosmo’s tips for how to deal with a not-so-perfect Mr. Right?

Except, I do imagine it. I catch myself worrying about non-existent assignments and responsibilities that won’t resume until September. But even more, I constantly find myself spacing out at work, reminiscing about all the good stuff that comes along with college. Mostly the whole not-bored-at-work-9-to-5 thing.

And I miss it!

Meal Plans: While I’m lucky enough not to be taking classes this summer, I do have to work — which means I’m stuck in a college town all summer long without the benefit of visiting home, and therefore the benefit of home cookin’. My freshman year, I ate dining hall food. My sophomore year, my sorority dues included a meal plan. This summer, with my sorority house closed and the dining halls freshmen-infested, I’m armed only with my apartment’s kitchen and whatever the hell I find when I Google “easy, cheap, healthy recipes” and pudding. Do I enjoy learning to cook? Absolutely. Would I prefer a cook to prepare my meals? Uh, hell yes. Plus, there’s no clean up if you’re not the one using all the dishes…

The Gym: As any lady knows, summer is either the best time to flaunt your hard earned bikini-bod, or to berate yourself for spending more of Spring watching The Office than a yoga instructor. So naturally, gym time is a necessary evil (unless you enjoy working out, which I sadly do not). Imagine my disappointment when I arrived at my campus gym early for kickboxing, only to have my student I.D. DENIED at the turnstile. It was almost as embarrassing as having a credit card declined, weirdly enough. Apparently, if you don’t take summer classes at FSU, you can’t use the gym (I guess the tuition I pay during fall and spring doesn’t cut it). Every day as I run outside (instead of on a treadmill with AC and Daisy of Love repeats) I count the days until I’ll be back at the student gym.

The Bar Scene: Never in my life did I think I’d find myself wishing for the bar to be more crowded. There are no lines for the bathroom, the bartenders are almost overly attentive, and I have enough room to extend my arms. All of these are seemingly good things, but when there are no people to watch, no strangers to mingle with, and no one standing between me and unlimited mojitos, things at the bar just don’t end well. When it takes me 20 minutes to fight my way through the crowd to the bar in Fall, I will look back at this time lovingly, but for now, the bar scene just seems kinda boring.

“Academic Expenses”: As I mentioned before, I’m a working woman. But when my parents offer to help out with any school related costs, I definitely don’t turn it down. The beauty of this is that there is always some way to explain a purchase as necessary to my academic career. “Supplies” at Walmart, “Business attire” for those in-class presentations, and my personal favorite “Whatever they sell at the bookstore” because Mom’s credit card is on file there. A random charge on her statement is easily explained during the semester, but trying to convince her that I need money for “road trip supplies” doesn’t go as smoothly.

Overall, I’m not complaining about a long, hot and relaxing summer—but there are definitely a few things I miss about Fall and Spring. What about you guys?

As we approach August, we may have started to take summer vacay for granted. In the dog days of summer, it’s easy to sleep until 2 p.m., get caught up on Maury, and not realize we still have our PJs on until it’s time to go back to bed. But with the countdown to Fall Semester ticking fast, it’s important to make the most of every spare minute. Whether you’re working your ass off or dedicated to being a lazy bum until a full courseload kicks back in, it’s time to get in gear and create some glorious summer memories.

1. Take a roadtrip. Sure, gas prices are skyrocketing, but you’re only young once, right? And once you’re shackled into a nine-to-five, you’re going to crave the spontaneity that’s currently yours for the taking. I’m a self-professed workaholic, but even I’ve been known to squeeze in a few quality roadtrips between May and August each year. One summer, I took a fourteen-hour drive to Ohio with two girls from work I barely knew, for the birthday party of one of my brother’s grad school friends. And no, my brother didn’t go. So, three random girls showed up at a party in the boondocks (aka Wooster), and promptly put on our party shoes. Liquor flowed, regrettable hook-ups were had, and the girls and I totally bonded over the experience. Even if you can only spare one day, find a town you’ve never been to before, and head out to explore. You never know what adventures might arise.

2. Go multimedia. Have a photo or videoshoot with your friends. No, you don’t need to be drunk, you just need to be creative. Use the summer foliage as a backdrop. Pretend you’re on America’s Next Top Model and work the runway. Yes, it’s childish, but nobody will know if you seal all the evidence in the vault. I have countless “Dress-Up” portraits, in which I’m dressed as anything from a Spice Girl to a Showgirl, as well as some priceless dance routines caught on tape to Tupac’s “California Love,” in which we substituted rolled-up toilet paper for Pac’s signature bandanna headband. It makes for a quick pick-me-up on future bad days. I didn’t make this stuff myself– go watch Cameron Diaz and Christina Applegates’ “Movie Montage” scene from The Sweetest Thing.

3. Get off your ass. There’s a variety of activities that can fall into this category. Take a bike ride, go rollerblading, go hiking. Hell, go to the local playground and play on the jungle gym. We all know exercise boosts your endorphins, but it’s a also a great way to maintain your tan and your bikini bod. Side note: some of my most romantic summer kisses have occurred on the docks of the local lake or underneath the monkey bars once the sun sets on a sultry summer’s eve.

4. Enjoy the local festivities. Whether it’s a local fair or a weekly farmer’s market, a tour of a historic landmark or a downtown block party… what do you have better to do? Besides, even the smallest towns have kooky summer activities. I know a guy who runs in a citywide roadrace every year, donning nothing but a loincloth. You can also check out the local downhome watering hole that reeks of flannel and flasks. Who knows what goes down when the townies come out to play?

5. Have a midday drinking festival. Seriously, this is the time in our lives when we can do it without being labeled an alcoholic. During every spring semester of my college career, I wouldn’t skip a single class until the first nice day of spring. Then, my friends and I would cut every single class to sit out on the quad and booze it up from inconspicuous Nalgene bottles. Sure, school’s been out for weeks, but you can still have a good old daylight drinking binge on a random Tuesday. The good news? You’ll probably pass out early enough to get a head start on tomorrow. The better news? If you follow this step, you can move on to the local festivities or the multimedia extravaganza.

Just don’t attempt a summer roadtrip if you’ve already been hitting the bottle in 90-degree weather.