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We’ve reached the mid-way mark of October, and that means that we at CollegeCandy are really psyched for Halloween. We’re definitely still pondering what to wear on the 31st, but when it comes to children’s costumes, there are a few get-ups we’d rather not see prowling the streets.

The following is a list of Halloween costumes for children to avoid, containing several funny, inappropriate, and unsafe outfits we’d rather not see on our younger siblings and babysitting charges.

1. Pinocchio with Strings

A Pinocchio costume is all well and good, but the strings on this thing look really unsafe. Can you imagine this kid running around all hopped up on chocolate in the dark? That sh*t is gonna get tangled. And based on this photo, I don’t know what these strings are suspended from–maybe the kid’s chaperone is supposed to hold them? Putting your kid on a leash for Halloween. Nice.

2. Corpse Bride

This costume sort of looks like Lindsay Lohan’s “ex-wife” costume from Mean Girls. But what’s truly frightening here is dressing up your little sis as a sexualized, virginal corpse. Not so hot.

3. Austin Powers

I’ll definitely admit, when I first saw this costume I laughed my ass off. You can almost hear this kid snarling, “Yeeeah, baby!” But in order for him to pull off The Spy Who Shagged Me with charm, he’d have to know a thing or two about mojo. Maybe it’s best if we let boys be boys for now, since we all know the guys will start pimpin’ sooner or later…but hopefully not before they outgrow their Huggies.

4. Tween Pink Leopard Dress Costume

Ugh. There are SO many things wrong with this outfit. I wouldn’t wear it as a 20-year-old woman, much less a preteen girl. If you take off those ears, this poor child looks nothing less than a prostitute. Let’s see… ho collar? Check. Cheezy pink leopard print? Check. Lingerie gauze? Check. Slutty pleather miniskirt? Check. Revealed navel? Check. Hooker heels? CHECK. How did that old Ludacris song go? Oh yeah: YOU’S A HO.

5. Native American

Maybe this is just me, but I think this costume is really racist. It’s one thing if you want to dress up like Pocahontas, but it’s entirely another if you’re just a Native American. Would it be funny if a Native American child dressed up as a Colonial? My mother grew up just down the road from a Native American reservation, and I know costumes like this wouldn’t fly back in her hometown.

6. A Toilet

Seriously, you are asking for your kid to get a few swirlies with his Starbursts if you dress him in this. Flush this idea, people. Flush it down.

[Seen any other horrifying children's costumes this year? Let us know!!]

The movie has a ridiculous cast, including Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake and Mini Me!, and is sure to be an instant hit. We have been playing on the site/watching the trailer all week at the CC office and we can’t get enough. There is something about Mike Myers with an Indian accent that is just too good to be true.

Because we are so completely excited for Friday night (and may or may not have already purchased tickets…don’t tell), we thought we would kick off the celebration early and award one lucky CollegeCandy reader with a Love Guru prize pack.

It includes:

- The Love Guru soundtrack (which you can listen to here. Heeeelarious)

- A Love Guru t-shirt

- A Love Guru poster autographed by Mike Myers

This movie is guaranteed to be a mega-hit and how awesome would you look with that poster hanging over your bed? (Bonus: that boy you bring with you would l-o-v-e it.)

It is easy to enter and easy to win. Simply enter your favorite Mike Myers quote/dialogue in the comments section below and we – self-proclaimed Mike Myers experts – will choose our favorite as the winner! Yes, your fate is in our hands. Mwa hahahaah (that is our evil laugh).

You have until Friday at noon to get your entries in before we start picking and choosing, so get on it. The winner will be chosen next week. Unfortunately for us, we can’t win. Which is too bad; Lauren has been compiling her quotes all day. She really wants that poster.

Seriously.

According to Oliver Curry of the London School of Economics, by the year 3000, “the human race [will] peak”, and people will start to become much choosier about their partners, “causing humanity to divide into sub-species”.

“The descendants of the genetic upper class would be tall, slim, healthy, attractive, intelligent, and creative” Curry insists, while the “underclass” will have “evolved into dim-witted, ugly, squat goblin-like creatures.”

Curry goes on to explain how women will look in the distant future, and while I’m sure his description is based in science, I can’t help but wonder if he’s not letting just a little bit of male fantasy slip into this description.

“Women…will develop lighter, smooth, hairless skin, large clear eyes, pert breasts, glossy hair, and even features”.

So basically, we’ll look like a combination of a hot robot and an Anime character. I suppose in 1,000 years it’s going to be hot to be a character with no character? What distinguishing features will we have besides smooth legs and bugged-out eyes?

Will it be like this?

Could be worse, I guess.

Our futuristic hotness (or notness) won’t come without a price, however. Curry warns that what we gain in physical beauty, we may lose in emotional inclinations, leaving us unable to feel things such as “love, sympathy, trust and respect”. We also may become so “dependent on technology” that we resemble “domesticated animals.”

Hmm. Hot, heartless, and stupid. Sounds like an ex-boyfriend of mine.

…Maybe he was from the future?