CollegeCandy » avril lavigne

Every week, I provide you with a list. No, not a grocery list, to-do list or even a bucket list like our friends over at “The Buried Life.” It’s simply a list of ten things that are relevant, whether it’s to my life (like living with dudes), your life (packing on the poundage), or something that the media just won’t shut up about (COUGH Tiger Woods COUGH).

Yesterday, after going through the multiple heart attacks during the USA/Canada gold medal hockey game (that the USA took into overtime in the last 24 seconds of the game!!), I began to think of all the ways that America is far superior to our upstairs neighbor. You know, since we proved that hockey wasn’t one of them. And I was bitter. And angry. And inhaling a tube of cookie dough to cool down….

Okay Canada, you may have taken the gold in hockey, have national healthcare, legal drinking at 18 and some pretty awesome ~~strip clubs~~ night clubs. Now let me just give you ten golden reason why America is much, much better than our hat.

10. We have Florida, they have Nova Scotia.
Seriously, is there anywhere warm in Canada? Miami is so much better than any place Canada has to offer.

9. We say “about” properly
Aboot? That’s what I do after I drink too much Cuervo.

8. The American dollar is worth more!
By five cents!

7. None of that “Eh” nonsense.

6. Avril Lavigne.
Way to go Canada, thanks for Sk8er Boi. I really appreciate that.

5. The metric system.
32 degrees is FREEZING, not warm.

4. Their flag is stupid
What the eff is that about? A maple leaf? Seriously? I can’t think of anything more uninspired. Plus, everyone knows the best maple syrup comes Vermont or Aunt Jemima, which are both clearly AMERICAN.

3. Their national anthem is stupid
“O Canada”? Are you kidding me? Change that shiz to “Blame Canada,” like now.

2. Jack Bauer.
America has him. Canada does not.

1. Dammit Canada, I really wanted to hate you. After that hockey game, I really did. But then I remembered all my pre-21 year old days of traveling up north and getting legally wasted at 19, all the French, the healthcare, Jim Carrey, Le Chateau, Quebec, Montreal, Pam Anderson, ketchup chips, Terrence and Phillip and pretty much everything that rules. Sigh. The gold is all yours, you Canuck bastards.

Candy Dish: Avril’s Got a New Boyfriend

CC Staff — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:00:10 +0000

And it’s Lilo’s sloppy seconds. Though, who isn’t?

Tread lightly, Ryan Seacrest.

Will John McCain fight back against Sarah Palin?

Speaking of Sarah, get the rundown of her interview with Oprah.

5 reasons kissing is good for you!

Wrong goal. Adorable video.

Candy Dish: Meet Katherine Heigl’s New Baby

CC Staff — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 22:00:54 +0000

I don’t love Heigl, but I’m lovin’ that child.

Would you ever want to dress like Avril Lavigne?

Lindsay Lohan throws a hissy fit at Fashion Week.

Why doesn’t this gum exist now?!

How to wear florals in the fall.

What does Beyonce have to say about the Kanye sitch?

Candy Dish: Jason Bateman Was a Badboy

CC Staff — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 14:00:41 +0000

And we only love him more for it.

Would you let Avril Lavigne dress your children?

The future of the Jonas Brothers.

Holly Montag – almost as awful as her sis?

OMG, Lady Gaga is getting even weirder.

10 intimate sex tips from a man.

I Love You, Band (But Stop Being So Annoying)

Brithny - Duke University — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 15:00:50 +0000

Dear (See Below) Bands,

I love your music. Love, love, love. But can you maybe try to be a little less annoying? It makes it so hard to defend you when I tell my friends about my favorite artists. Actually, it makes it hard to admit to anyone that you happen to be one of them. And I want to make them like you, really, I do. But like that friend who has a minor character flaw that now pisses you off enough that you really can’t see the good in her anymore, I’m finding it difficult to enjoy your music knowing how annoying you are.

Here are some heart-to-heart tips from your loving (secret) admirer to be a little less annoying and a little more rock and roll.

Fall Out Boy

You always have a spot in my 6-CD player in my car. Sugar, you’ll never go down on the playlist for me if you continue to make some of the sweetest pop punk music out there. But please, Pete Wentz, I’m begging you – cut your hair, lay off the eyeliner and put on a damn shirt when you are on a magazine cover. You need to settle down – you play bass. And, um, you have a kid?

Also, Patrick, can you please enunciate your song lyrics so I can actually sing along and not just randomly open my mouth while humming the tune to look like I know what I’m singing? And what’s up with the weird syntax and bizzare punctuation in the song titles? Thnks Fr Th Confusn. I mean, e.e. Cummings was a legit poet, while you’re just… an antithesis of all semblance of reason. And grammar. My English teacher highly disapproves.

Avril Lavigne

“I’m with you” on how most of your songs are about girl problems to which every teenager can relate. And I love how you have other gigs too, like co-writing “Breakaway” for Kelly Clarkson and even recording The Spongebob Squarepants Movie theme song (my little bro totally agrees). But I’m pretty sure that hot pink hair, combat boots, and thick-enough eyeliner to paint a mural were out of fashion like 10 years ago. You remind me of the wanna-be punk-rocker chicks at my old high school who stood in their corner by the snack machine and talked about how “complicated” their life was and how their parents didn’t understand them. You’re married now, for goodness sakes, so do your husband a favor and stop wearing pink angel wings and acting like a “sk8er boi.” Oh, and learn how to play the guitar for real. You’re kinda getting “under my skin.”

Coldplay

The first time I heard “Clocks,” it changed my life. And continued to do so for the 100 times I listened to it on repeat afterward. You should even see my wall – there’s a giant banner that shouts, “viva la vida,” my adopted mantra para mi vida. But enough with the same gloomy, sad looks while you play haunting, heart-wrenching melodies on the piano, Chris Martin. I’m wondering if you’re able to play some different chord progressions as well, since you only seem to stick to one particular one on every. single. bloody. song. Can we maybe change it up a bit, with chords and tempos and basically not have the same harmonic patterns last throughout the whole album? Or four? Keep the accent though, please. Oh, and tell Gwyneth to lose the GOOP.

Simple Plan

My friend saw you in concert in Japan, and just like her, I must say: I’m “addicted” to your music. In a “perfect world,” I would hang out with you guys all day and do crazy stuff like dye the neighbor’s pool yellow or something, because, let’s face it, “I’m just a kid.” You seem like a bunch of cool, fun kids just making music because you can, and I love that about you. But unfortunately, you kinda remind me of blink182. But not in a middle-school-memories, emo-phase, dress-like-a-punk, nostalgic sort of way. More like a trying-a-little-too-hard, bad-album-titles, life-is-so-unfair-let’s-cry-about-it sort of way. Skateboarding is a sport, not a prop, and yelling at your parents on a rooftop in the pouring rain? Effective, but kinda cheesy I must say. Maybe there’s a reason you’re “still not getting any”…

Miley Cyrus

My guilty pleasure of all things guilt-full and pleasurable is “See You Again.” It’s on my workout playlist, my clubbing/dance-party playlist, and my blasting-in-the-car playlist. To the point where I’m headbanging and screaming out the lyrics with my girlfriends, and looking like a mad woman to the car next to us. But oh mah gah. There is so much advice and wisdom I wish to impart upon you that’s long enough to last a whole Oprah episode. You’re obviously not as big as a band, but your ego is big enough compete with one. Can you please act your age and stop dating older men that are probably not into you and more into your…assets? And stop taking those trashy MySpace pictures that even my 12 year old cousin knows not to take? You’re probably one of the reasons sexting is such a problem these days among teens. Or maybe just why television shows are going down the drain. Whatever happened to old Disney classics like Even Stevens and Sister, Sister? Dump the TV show and the drama queen act and just behave more like the role model you’re supposed to be for young girls. Then I won’t be so embarrassed when someone sees you on (every single one of) my iPod playlists.

Love,

Your (Not-So-Secret-Anymore) Admirer

Candy Dish: Happy National Puppy Day!

CC Staff — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 22:00:13 +0000

Puppies! Enjoy.

Mmmm March Madness.

Robin Williams is doin’ A-OK.

Myth or fact: you can repair split ends.

Make a 25 before 25 list!

Zac Efron out of Footloose?

Obama to speak at Notre Dame commencement!

Cure for the dreaded bikini wax?!

LC’s love life heats up.

Would you wanna smell like Avril?

Flava Flav is 50?!

The Worst Female Role Models: The Start of a Long List

Elizabeth-Baruch College — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 18:00:41 +0000

FORGET THESE TRASHY LADIES! CHECK OUT 6 REALITY STARS THAT DESERVE TIME IN THE SPOTLIGHT!

Not that I have a real say in the matter, but I’m not a fan of females who take advantage of their positions of power, influence, and/or fame. Too many young girls are watching. Too many women trust in the media for a sound representation of what they should be doing, wearing, feeling, and looking like.

On the topic of molding minds, Hollywood women have masses of ‘regular’ women at their fingertips, which is gross and unnecessary, but true. I’m not saying women in the limelight need to change their behavior. But those “masses of ‘regular’ women” should be aware of some of the worst role models out there right now. In no particular order:

1. Heidi Montag

It’s really not just Heidi Montag. There’s a group of reality-tv/nothing stars out there who all belong on this list, but she irks me the most, therefore she gets to be the title name. The problem with these girls is this: all of their emphasis is put on looks, fame, and fortune and none of it (as far as I can tell) is put on authentic talent, merit, or ambition with a good-conscious. I’m not impressed by status-whores and I don’t think you should be, either. These kinds of girls teach other girls how to be catty, using, manipulative, and overall drama queens.

2. Katy Perry

Once upon a time, I thought Katy Perry was cool. I thought she was a girl speaking her mind and telling off that emo ex-boyfriend of hers. After hearing more of her music and watching more of her interviews, my mind has changed. This isn’t just about her. This is about every ‘shock-rock’ type female celebrity out there. Avril Lavigne, Britney Spears, Pink, etc. If you’re wondering why I’m picking a bone with girls like these, well, it’s easy: Girls shouldn’t be taught that ‘acting out’ is ‘cool’. I’m not saying it’s always bad, but c’mon. Katy Perry has got to be sick of dressing up like a pin-up girl for every freaking thing she does by now, but she still romps around in barely nothing, repeating lyrics that were clearly written more for attention than anything else.

3. Lindsay Lohan

I’m not even, generally speaking, a Lohan hater. But on the topic of role models we should be ignoring, she makes the cut. From drug binges to starving herself to a scary-thin frame to always making headlines with drama, actresses like these aren’t the kinds we should be putting much stock in when it comes to examining our own lives.

I’m not saying these girls are terrible and I’m certainly not trying to exclude other bad female role models from this list. This is just a beginning to a long list of people we shouldn’t be comparing ourselves to. Some women, (cough cough, Michelle Obama), really have their act together. All I’m saying is that we need to do a whole lot more of looking up to those kinds of women and a whole lot less of looking up to the kinds of women listed above.

[Photo courtesy of Photo Bucket.]