Welcome home for Thanksgiving! Where the lines at the bar are ridiculous, the drinks can’t come fast enough, and while you think it’s deja vu you’ve got going on – you actually ARE having the same 3-minute conversation with blasts from your not-so-distant past over and over and over.

And over.

It’s a funny concept this “home for Thanksgiving bar night” we’ve got going. It’s the biggest bar night of the year, but every year brings about the same conversation that leaves me wanting to bang my head into a wall. But even though I don’t, I somehow wake up feeling like I did.

It goes a little something like this:

Your 7th grade frenemy: “Hi! (looks you up and down here) Oh-my-god you look great! What are you doing now? Where do you live? Are you single? Omg so great to see you… Ah! Look who just walked in! Pom-pon Captain Susie! She got fat! Better go say hi!!! We should totally get together for drinks or something! Facebook me! So great to see you! Read More »

Our friends over at The Gloss recently did a post on all the things they don’t miss about being in their twenties.  But as a twenty-something myself, I’ve gotta say – I’m pretty content.  Sure, there are moments I wish I had a little more cash or that my job was a bit cushier.  But some of their points were reminiscent of things I realized in my teens.

Granted, I’ve always been way ahead of the social learning curve but I think most of us would agree.  Forget leaving your twenties behind, I think those awkward early teen years are the ones I’d sooner like to leave in the dust.  Seriously.  Do you remember…

Having not-so-great fashion sense.
I remember being a freshman in high school and wearing an Abercrombie tee for gym class that said “Nighttime Full-Contact Football” across my boobs in sparkly letters.  And I believe I paired that stellar top with some white running shorts and those Adidas sneakers everyone had.  Except mine were gold.  Now tell me, who let me walk out of the locker room looking like such a horrendous mess?

Bad hair.
Maybe you were the brunette who tried Sun-In and ended up looking like Carrot Top.  Maybe you thought pink highlights were a good statement to make. Maybe you didn’t know what a flat iron was. Or were you like me and experimented briefly (but on multiple occasions) with bangs?  And I’m not talking about the cool side-sweepy ones. Read More »

So you’re going to college. You got your GPA up and your admissions essay down, you got in, and now you’re out! Happy times are here. Your final days are characterized by blasting Lil’ Wayne with the sunroof open and going to lunch with the people with whom you’ve spent the last four, eight, or even 12 years of your life in school. You’re pretty sad it’s over, but you know that your life isn’t about to end; in reality, it’s only the beginning.

But before you unpack those Yaffa blocks and stock up on the highlighters, allow me to dispel a few of the myths your older, wiser and drunker friends have told you about your freshman year. Is freshman year awesome? Hell to the yes. But there are some things you just gotta prepare for.

“You’re going to become best friends with your floor.”
Maybe. Or maybe not. Yes, while the people on your floor are going to be the first people you meet and become friendly with, don’t feel pressured to become best friends with them. The only thing you may have in common with these people is that you live on the same floor in the same dorm at the same school. They’re great for trips to the dining hall, party wandering in the first week of school, and swapping hangover stories on Sunday mornings, but don’t feel bad if that’s it. You might find yourself laughing a month or two into school saying, “OMG, I can’t believe I used to go to breakfast with her” if your neighbor becomes “that girl” at parties on campus. Your real friends in college will be eclectic, and while many people find them on their floor, many do not. Friendships are rooted in a sharing of values, not a sharing of a hall. You’re lucky if you find both in the same place.

“Your classes aren’t that hard.”
Kind of a lie. Senior year you don’t do any work at all, and it’s really hard to turn your brain back on and retrain yourself to read and understand 60+ pages of reading a night. This lie depends on the school you go to and the classes you take, but the way I experienced it and the way most of my friends experienced it is that your classes are kind of hard. Especially when you’re trying to decide on a Tuesday night between $1 pitchers of beer and making notecards. You need to do a lot of the learning on your own and if you’re not careful, it’s very easy to fall behind. You might have floated through high school, but college is an entirely different ball game. You’re going to have to retrain your study muscles for those college classes! Read More »

Yesterday was a busy day for me. I worked, I went to the dentist (and discovered I have 2 cavities….awesome), I worked out, and then I came home to settle in and watch a little Bachelor Pad (though, my friends all thought I was working more; I don’t need to hear their judgments about how I spend my evenings).

Besides feeling a whole lot dumber after 2 hours of those shenanigans (not sure if it’s Tenley’s shrieks or Wes’s confusion between math and science that did it…), I felt horribly uncomfortable for the entire episode. Like watching Michael Scott try to make a sale uncomfortable. Or watching an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Or watching my brother try to scam on chicks.

There were so many awkward moments, I broke out in a sweat. It was so bad that while I normally fast forward through commercials, I welcomed the breaks from sloppy kisses and boob flashing with open arms.

Allow me to take you on a trip down Cringe-worthy Lane: Read More »

This past Halloween my friends and I decided to put on our costumes early and head over to a bar to watch some college football. Fast forward to 3pm: I’m drunk, dressed up as Rainbow Bright and smoking cigarettes on the street while my male friend jokingly shoved his hand up my skirt. Nothing too out of the ordinary…until a business associate – someone I had just had a very important meeting with on Friday and was planning on a follow-up on Monday – happened to walk by. And recognize me.

Yeah, Monday was a little uncomfortable.

It’s not uncommon for awkward situations to come up at work. There are so many rules, regulations and requirements, that it’s no surprise when something goes awry and things get very uncomfortable very fast. This week I reached out to CollegeCandy writers, friends and fans to find out their most awkward or embarrassing work story. And what I heard is enough to make you want to quit working all together.

Rachael – University of Miami: My first two years of college, I spent my summers as a “beauty consultant” at CVS (I sold makeup). Because the Beauty girls all dressed in black, not everyone realized we worked there, but for some reason the people who did figured we knew everything about the store and its products. One man spent a good five minutes telling me about his rectal bleeding problem before he paused long enough to let me explain that I only worked in cosmetics. I’m honestly not sure who was more embarrassed as I directed him to Pharmacy.

Nina – Michigan State University: At one of my internships, I swear one of the interns sitting near me had “bodily functions” going on ALL THE TIME. And when my boss walked past, he’d wrinkle his nose and look at me strangely. I couldn’t tell him it was HER… sooo awkward! Read More »

Everyone’s got a vice, a bad habit, something they know they need to change. Unfortunately, everyone also has a million excuses why they just can’t do it. Not anymore. Every month we will be following a different CollegeCandy writer as she takes on a personal challenge. Last month we followed Lauren from University of Michigan as she successfully went 100% sober. This month we’re following Norah on her quest to bring exercise into her life.

I am quite possibly the least athletic person you will ever meet.

When I was 12, my mother asked me not to run in public. “It’s embarrassing,” she said. “There’s something about the way you run that’s just…weird.”

Once I started college, my friends quickly diagnosed my problem: I run like a dinosaur.

Here’s why: When I was 4, I started taking Irish dancing lessons. Yes, like Riverdance. And in Irish dancing, you’re not allowed to move your arms—they have to stay straight at your sides. So when it came time to run, I didn’t know what to do with my arms. With no better ideas, I just pulled them up by my armpits and “took flight.”

Add in some exercise-induced asthma and a fear of flying sports equipment and it’s clear that I was never meant to be an athlete.

I’ve been accused of being lazy, of not really trying, of not being committed enough to get in shape. But I know that’s not it. In elementary school, when the rest of the class couldn’t play on the playground until the last person was done running the mile, I remember trying so hard to finish so my classmates wouldn’t hate me (fourth graders are fickle, fickle creatures). If the anger of my peers wasn’t enough to push me to physical fitness, I don’t know what is.

Read More »

Breathtaking.

Like most people, the years I spent with little metal boxes cemented to my teeth weren’t exactly my best. Not only did those years coincide with my awkward phase (no coincidence there), but my braces also hurt like crazy. And I’m pretty sure I spent 50% of my time in the bathroom picking food shrapnel out of my teeth.

The other 50% of my time was spent smiling for pictures with my lips closed and being thrown into the back of my mom’s minivan for those monthly adjustment appointments (ouch).

And I wasn’t allowed to chew gum or eat popcorn.
Yeah, it’s really not a time I want to relive.

Unless it has to do with other people.

Behold, one of my greatest Internet finds since TFLN:

When I had braces…

This website won’t help you become a better cook or organize your fashion wish lists, but it will make you laugh and that’s all you really need on a Wednesday morning, right? The premise is simple: readers submit their favorite (OK, most awkward) picture of themselves in braces along with a small anecdote about their experience with the little devils. For example, the photo above, which is pretty awesome in its own right but truly magnificent with this little ditty:  “When I had braces straightening irons weren’t yet perfected.” Read More »

Back when Matt and I were first dating freshman year, it came time for us to register for our next semester’s classes. He and I both wanted to take Japanese as our foreign language, but agreed that it’d be better off if we took it at different times. He thought I’d be a distraction, and I didn’t want to compete with him over grades.

This past semester however, for our third semester of Japanese (seriously, why FOUR semesters of a foreign language? excessive, no?), we both had such weird and limiting schedules that we ended up in the same class. I was prepared for the worst, since less than a year before Matt said he hated the idea of us with a class together. To my surprise, he was actually looking forward to it. We did survive, but now, for our final semester, we are back to different professors at different time. Like most relationship happenings, having class with my significant other was full of ups and downs:

Up:
The convenience factor. We only had to buy one book (which, let’s be honest, saves a giant chunk of change). We also got to ride the bus to school together and if I was home sick (thanks, flu season ’09), Matt could turn in my work for me.

Down:
Distraction. You try not talking to your boyfriend when you’re sitting next to him in class three days a week. Read More »

Drink up, little lady. It's gonna be a long and awkward night.

Thanksgiving is a-comin’, ladies! Time for some turkey, stuffing (my absolute favorite treat on earth) and reuniting with all your old home friends. Oh, and hopefully a major shopping spree with mom. Is there any other reason to come home?

For those of you lucky ladies who are finally 21 (or those of you with a really good fake), Thanksgiving also means taking part in the biggest bar night of the year! I remember my first Wednesday-Before-Thanksgiving bar experience…at least until I blacked out due to the extreme levels of awkwardness and puked in my parents’ house.

Try explaining that one to dad when he finds you passed out next to the toilet the following morning.

Anyways, being that it is the biggest bar night of the year, there are so many things to know! And, being that I have been doing it for a little while now, I feel I am the perfect person to enlighten you on what to expect and how to deal.

What to Expect: Running into people you never liked and still don’t like.

How to Deal: I tend to hightail it to the bar, but if you don’t want to end up looking up at your dad from the tile floor the next morning, perhaps playing nice is a good idea. You know; pretend to care what they have to say, tell them how good they look and politely bow out when you (pretend to) see a friend across the ro Read More »

As I said last week, when I’m with my friends I tend to feel like the mom of the group; the one without the fun stories, the exciting crushes and the long drunken nights with friends. Well, I’ve recently discovered that there are some perks to being the momma of the group and the only girl in my group in a long term relationship.

I’ve become the one that everyone else comes to for advice or when they have an awkward relationship/sex questions.

Case in point: Last week I was at the gym with my friend who is one of the sweetest, most innocent girls you could meet. We were jogging around the track just doin’ our thing when she asked me if she could ask a bit of an embarrassing question. “Of course,” I huffed, not knowing what to expect. Especially knowing what came next.

“What’s giving a blow job like?”

I couldn’t believe one of my best friends, especially her, was asking me such a blunt question! On the track! But I realized that it took a lot for her to ask me that and that she must really value my opinion (considering I’ve never even heard her use that term before!), so I gave her the best description I could and answered all of her related questions. Quietly, of course, there were other people running around us.

Having a serious relationship has turned me into the go-to girl for my friends with relationship questions. They have told me that they know I’ve been through a lot and they value my advice. And I have to admit, giving out relationship advice is kind of fun! I like being the all-knowing sage and helping people who may not be where I am with Matt. It’s my unique way of contributing to the group when they’re all sharing stories and that I can no longer relate to. It makes me feel wanted and connected to a group that I sometimes worry I’m growing apart from. Read More »