Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m almost 21 and have never had a boyfriend! I went to an all-girls high school and never socialized with guys. My circle of friends consisted of girls and this carried on as I entered university.

It’s not that I’ve never been approached before. I just think I have never met a guy I’ve genuinely been interested in. Of course there have been the occasional crushes, but those never went beyond physical appearances. I think I have high standards and easily pin point flaws in guys that immediately turn me off from the idea of being with them (eg: they lack manners or smoke), but it’s because I’m not interested in anything casual. If I am going to commit to a relationship, I have to be convinced we can make it last. Is it too much to ask for a guy who is kind and makes me laugh? (And who accepts me and my quirks?)

I don’t think I lack confidence and I don’t think I’m hideous looking. I think my problem is I don’t know how to act and talk to guys. I can be myself, but sometimes I can be blunt and lack empathy. My friends find my deadpan humor funny, but I think others don’t get it and it turns them away. To give you a better idea, I believe I may have Asperger’s Syndrome. I haven’t been diagnosed, but when I read about it, I can relate to, 95% of the signs and symptoms! I find whenever I talk to guys and people I don’t know very well, I have a difficult time holding my end of the conversation. I either don’t know how to engage the person or don’t know the appropriateness of the topics I can share.

I guess what I’m trying say in all of this is that I have issues with how to act like a normal and appealing young lady while still trying to be myself. I need some advice, pointers, and conversation topics that will get things rolling. Anything! Your opinion, stories you may have, etc.

Sorry for the long email. I’m sure I could have written this in five sentences, but I felt it was probably important to give you a sense of my history and personality to avoid the vague and typical answers.

Thanks,
Ass Burgers

Dear Ass Burgers,

Well, okay, first of all, let’s not diagnose you on an advice column.

[Lead image via CREATISTA/Shutterstock]

For those of you not in the know, Mayo Clinic sez: “Asperger’s Syndrome is a developmental disorder that affects a person’s ability to socialize and communicate effectively with others.” It’s sort of like really high functioning autism, in Aunt Tuffy’s understanding of it.

That being said, Aunt Tuffy ain’t Doctor Tuffy. And you ain’t Doctor Ass Burgers. Soooooo…

If you really think you have Asperger’s, get thee to a doctor, honey!! Said doc can help you understand your symptoms and give you various therapies to make life so much easier. In the meantime, while you’re still undiagnosed, let’s assume you’re just, like, a little socially awkward. With that being the case, there are so many ways you can help yourself.

Numero uno, of course, is developing those listening skills. This is a talent our society seems to shoop upon, but listening to other people–like, truly, actually LISTENING to other people–makes them *GASP* like you.

So when you meet guys, if you find yourself blabbering on, let them get in on the action. A conversation should generally be 50/50: you talk half the time, they talk half the time. Be engaged in what you’re saying AND in what the other person is saying.

And be more sensitive. If they tell you something that’s important to them, don’t make a joke about it. This, my dear, is just common decency. Yes??

As for your high standards–yes, of course you should have them!!! And, yes, absolutely, you deserve to be with someone who is kind and who makes you laugh–as long as YOU are kind to THEM and YOU make THEM laugh. You get what I’m saying here?! It’s give and take. 50/50.

And sometimes you don’t know if a guy is going to be good until you get to know him better. So a first date here and there is in order. I think your idea that you’re “not interested in anything casual” is just an excuse to opt out of dating. How the floop do you know what someone’s like before you’ve hung out with them?! Seriously. A dinner here and there is not a big deal. That is really not worth whining about how you don’t want to “commit.” You can’t “commit” to salad AND an entree?! Just have coffee, then. It’s really not so much to ask to give the guy a half hour. GEEZ.

Okay, and so, on to topics. Let’s get back to this 50/50 idea, right? Ask him questions about himself. That is 100% guaranteed to get the conversation going. Hopefully you’ll find out something you have in common. If not, hopefully he’ll have something interesting to say about stuff he likes. So, questions you can ask:
-What kind of music do you like?
-Have you seen any good movies?
-I just read about [topic]. Have you heard about that? / What do you think?

Or you can take the route of telling him something about yourself and seeing if there’s any common ground there. For instance:

-You know what I just got into? [thing you got into]
-I’ve been watching [thing] and I thought [stuff]…

And if you’re really brave or really bored:

-What do you think about the government / religion / gender roles?

Good luck, kiddo.

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

Qvestion?! Ansver: Ask Tuffy Luv by emailing us at TuffyLuvCC [at] gmail [dot] com.

Welcome home for Thanksgiving! Where the lines at the bar are ridiculous, the drinks can’t come fast enough, and while you think it’s deja vu you’ve got going on – you actually ARE having the same 3-minute conversation with blasts from your not-so-distant past over and over and over.

And over.

It’s a funny concept this “home for Thanksgiving bar night” we’ve got going. It’s the biggest bar night of the year, but every year brings about the same conversation that leaves me wanting to bang my head into a wall. But even though I don’t, I somehow wake up feeling like I did.

It goes a little something like this:

Your 7th grade frenemy: “Hi! (looks you up and down here) Oh-my-god you look great! What are you doing now? Where do you live? Are you single? Omg so great to see you… Ah! Look who just walked in! Pom-pon Captain Susie! She got fat! Better go say hi!!! We should totally get together for drinks or something! Facebook me! So great to see you!

Enter, .5 seconds later from stage left, your 10th grade biology lab partner:

“Hi! (looks you up and down here) Oh-my-god you look great! What are you doing now? Where do you live? Are you single? Omg so great to see you… Ah! Look who is over there! Better go say hi!!! We should totally get together for drinks or something! Facebook me! So great to see you!

And so it goes, and so it goes… and before you know it you’ve told 80 people that you that you live in Chicago, you are in law school/med school/writing unemployed and that things are complicated with your relationship, so while, no you are still not dating your high school sweetheart, you are totally loving your newfound independence (or something like that).

You didn’t like 90% of the people in this bar in middle school and by high school you didn’t like 95% of them. Yet every year we go around trying to prove that college or the ‘real world’ has changed us for the better. We are now so indie/so over anything mainstream/so cooool/so grown up. We schmooze and shriek with delight when someone mentions that “we should totally get together for happy hour” only to then brush it off .2 seconds later.

So welcome home for Thanksgiving! Get your game face on and prepare for the most awkward encounters to ever hit you in one single night. And look on the bright side: Thursday will bring stuffing, pumpkin pie, and – most importantly – excellent fodder for that delicious hangover brunch with your real friends.

“How awkward was it when…..”

[This story was originally posted by Jill - University of Wisconsin.]

Likey? Don’t worry, there are plenty more faves where this came from.

Granted, I’ve always been way ahead of the social learning curve but I think most of us would agree.  Forget leaving your twenties behind, I think those awkward early teen years are the ones I’d sooner like to leave in the dust.  Seriously.  Do you remember…

Having not-so-great fashion sense.
I remember being a freshman in high school and wearing an Abercrombie tee for gym class that said “Nighttime Full-Contact Football” across my boobs in sparkly letters.  And I believe I paired that stellar top with some white running shorts and those Adidas sneakers everyone had.  Except mine were gold.  Now tell me, who let me walk out of the locker room looking like such a horrendous mess?

Bad hair.
Maybe you were the brunette who tried Sun-In and ended up looking like Carrot Top.  Maybe you thought pink highlights were a good statement to make. Maybe you didn’t know what a flat iron was. Or were you like me and experimented briefly (but on multiple occasions) with bangs?  And I’m not talking about the cool side-sweepy ones.

Dating idiot guys because they were cool.
You learned to interpret their various grunts because words just escaped these beautiful creatures.  The epitome of high school dating success was having the hunky captain of a major sports team (aka basically any of the teams except golf club) walk you to class.  It didn’t matter if he was a senior taking freshman English for the fourth time or if his drink of choice was Peppermint Schnapps stolen from his parents’ liquor cabinet.  You were in L.U.V.

Braces.  Acne.  Glasses.
The nerd trifecta.  Chances are you had at least one.  If you suffered through all three, then I’m super proud you made it out alive.  You must have had an excellent psychiatrist.

“Dad, can I get a ride?”
Unless you lived in the deep South where they practically hand you a diver’s license along with your birth certificate, chances are you were bumming rides from the ‘rents 24/7.  What’s cooler than getting picked up from a party in a Volvo station wagon driven by a 45 year-old-man in his pajamas?  Pretty much anything.

What do you miss least about your teen years?

But before you unpack those Yaffa blocks and stock up on the highlighters, allow me to dispel a few of the myths your older, wiser and drunker friends have told you about your freshman year. Is freshman year awesome? Hell to the yes. But there are some things you just gotta prepare for.

“You’re going to become best friends with your floor.”
Maybe. Or maybe not. Yes, while the people on your floor are going to be the first people you meet and become friendly with, don’t feel pressured to become best friends with them. The only thing you may have in common with these people is that you live on the same floor in the same dorm at the same school. They’re great for trips to the dining hall, party wandering in the first week of school, and swapping hangover stories on Sunday mornings, but don’t feel bad if that’s it. You might find yourself laughing a month or two into school saying, “OMG, I can’t believe I used to go to breakfast with her” if your neighbor becomes “that girl” at parties on campus. Your real friends in college will be eclectic, and while many people find them on their floor, many do not. Friendships are rooted in a sharing of values, not a sharing of a hall. You’re lucky if you find both in the same place.

“Your classes aren’t that hard.”
Kind of a lie. Senior year you don’t do any work at all, and it’s really hard to turn your brain back on and retrain yourself to read and understand 60+ pages of reading a night. This lie depends on the school you go to and the classes you take, but the way I experienced it and the way most of my friends experienced it is that your classes are kind of hard. Especially when you’re trying to decide on a Tuesday night between $1 pitchers of beer and making notecards. You need to do a lot of the learning on your own and if you’re not careful, it’s very easy to fall behind. You might have floated through high school, but college is an entirely different ball game. You’re going to have to retrain your study muscles for those college classes!

“Being a freshman in college is nothing like being a freshman in high school.”
Such a lie. Everyone knows you are a freshman. Everyone. Between the maps you carry, the way you lug all your books to the first day of class, and the way you travel in huge gaggles down the streets of your college town trying to find parties, you’ve got freshman written all over you. But the thing to remember is that everyone has to experience that. Carrying the maps and traveling in the gaggles teaches you how to adjust to college life so that second semester, you don’t scream freshman. You definitely have to pay your dues a bit as a freshman, just like you did in high school, but don’t expect any mean seniors to shove you into lockers or try and sell you tickets to the pool. Unless someone’s having a pool party and they charge you for alcohol and you end up getting so plastered that you wake up in a locker.

“If you don’t go out every weekend, you totally miss out.”
Definitely not true. While partying is really fun at college and very different than at home, you do not miss out at all if you decide to skip a night out or go somewhere else for the weekend. If you feel like sitting in your bed in sweatpants and catching up on your shows, do it! There is always going to be a party, and there will always be an opportunity to go to the bar. Don’t burn out. If you need to study, study. You might miss out on making a few drunken memories, but you have four years to make more. Your report card, mental health, and physical health will thank you when you follow your instinct if you don’t feel like going out. Plus, your friends will be excited to tell their stories to you the next day and start planning the next time you’re all going to go out together.

“You’re going to love everything about school right from the get-go.”
Doubtful. You move into this tiny dorm room in the unbearable heat of your non-air conditioned dorm with a stranger. Your stuff is a mess and everywhere, and your parents kiss you goodbye and are on their way. And then you’re there. And you don’t know anyone. While yes, the first few nights of college are exciting, fun, and usually pretty drunk, they’re definitely uncomfortable. You need to be awkward (all the time) and put yourself out there to meet people more than you have ever tried in your life. Sometimes you just want your mommy to hug you at the end of the day, make you dinner, and ask you how your day was. But all you have is your roommate and the ice breaker games your RA facilitates. It’s rough at first, but the thing to remember is that everyone is in the same place as you. Everyone is feeling the same way, but most people won’t admit it.

Here’s the deal: The word “lie” is subjective, meaning a lie is found in the mind of the individual. What I view as a lie, you may not, so don’t put too much stock into what you read about freshman year. Just because I view these comments as lies doesn’t mean that you will feel the same way. Everyone has a different experience in college, and no matter what happens, you’re going to enjoy parts of freshman year and you’re going to learn a lot about yourself. So get ready, because you have a lot to look forward to.

Yesterday was a busy day for me. I worked, I went to the dentist (and discovered I have 2 cavities….awesome), I worked out, and then I came home to settle in and watch a little Bachelor Pad (though, my friends all thought I was working more; I don’t need to hear their judgments about how I spend my evenings).

Besides feeling a whole lot dumber after 2 hours of those shenanigans (not sure if it’s Tenley’s shrieks or Wes’s confusion between math and science that did it…), I felt horribly uncomfortable for the entire episode. Like watching Michael Scott try to make a sale uncomfortable. Or watching an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Or watching my brother try to scam on chicks.

There were so many awkward moments, I broke out in a sweat. It was so bad that while I normally fast forward through commercials, I welcomed the breaks from sloppy kisses and boob flashing with open arms.

Allow me to take you on a trip down Cringe-worthy Lane:

The Kissing Contest: Unless I’m drunk and dancing on top of a speaker that is blasting Madonna’s Like a Prayer at deafening decipals, I do not need to see a bunch of people sloppily making out. I don’t really need to see them then either, but at least I don’t care quite as much.

Elizabeth’s Kissing Contest Noises: There comes a time in everyone’s life when a kiss is so good, so passionate, so earth shattering, that you can’t help but “mmmmm.” I’d like to think that lining up 6 guys by a pool on national television is not that moment. Elizabeth disagrees. So. uncomfortable.

The Weatherman Describing the Kiss With Peyton: Poor Weatherman – no matter how hard he tries, he’s just painfully awkward and uncomofortable. Good news for him, though: while watching him, I get painfully awkward and uncomfortable too. Like when he was describing in detail his kiss with Peyton to the other guys…who find him creepy and annoying. “Her soft lips…. her delicate kiss…” I’m surprised homeboy didn’t need to excuse himself to take care of the heat wave settling in down south.

Gia’s Relationship with Wes: Can someone please explain how Gia can bow out of a kissing contest because she loves her boyfriend but has no problem snuggling up with a cowboy and his guitar? And don’t even get me started on how she flips out on Nikke for lying and saving Kiptyn when Gia did the EXACT SAME THING TO CRAIG LAST WEEK.

OMG, I need to stop watching this show….

Natalie: No, her whipping her top off in the pool with 3 other people didn’t make me uncomfortable. Actually, she doesn’t make me uncomfortable at all. I just hate her and her fake blonde hair and “I’m a free spirit because I think guys like that” sorta attitude. Barf.

Tenley Jumping into Kiptyn’s Bed: Did Tenley stop maturing or advancing at all when she was 7? Seriously, this girl is challenged. Mentally. I shuddered when she hopped into Kiptyn’s bed. I guffawed when he tried to explain to her why he didn’t want to snuggle. I curled up in the fetal position when she just laid there, fake smile plastered on her face, and told him “We don’t have to cuddle.” Well duh, Tenley – that’s what he’s trying to say.

Jesse B. and Peyton’s Fantasy Suite Card: Uh, what? The Bachelor Pad peeps couldn’t give those two that card in private? And WTF? Dave Good and Natalie get some massive villa in Las Vegas and Jesse and Peyton just get a bed upstairs in the mansion? After springing for not one but TWO private jets back from Las Vegas, don’t you think they could have at least gotten them some room at a Holiday Inn up the street?

Gia’s Earring/Headband Combo at the rose ceremony: Too. Much. Sparkle. It made my head hurt.

I’d like to say that I’ll never watch this sh*tshow again, but I think we all know that’s not true. Especially since I was up for an extra hour last night trying to figure out who Gia’s boyfriend is (or was….) and if she’s dating Wes now. FML.

Yeah, Monday was a little uncomfortable.

It’s not uncommon for awkward situations to come up at work. There are so many rules, regulations and requirements, that it’s no surprise when something goes awry and things get very uncomfortable very fast. This week I reached out to CollegeCandy writers, friends and fans to find out their most awkward or embarrassing work story. And what I heard is enough to make you want to quit working all together.

Rachael – University of Miami: My first two years of college, I spent my summers as a “beauty consultant” at CVS (I sold makeup). Because the Beauty girls all dressed in black, not everyone realized we worked there, but for some reason the people who did figured we knew everything about the store and its products. One man spent a good five minutes telling me about his rectal bleeding problem before he paused long enough to let me explain that I only worked in cosmetics. I’m honestly not sure who was more embarrassed as I directed him to Pharmacy.

Nina – Michigan State University: At one of my internships, I swear one of the interns sitting near me had “bodily functions” going on ALL THE TIME. And when my boss walked past, he’d wrinkle his nose and look at me strangely. I couldn’t tell him it was HER… sooo awkward!

Jessica Wakeman – TheFrisky.com: I once burst into tears in front of an old boss while I was giving two weeks notice! It wasn’t like I loved the job or anything. In fact, I hated it! I was just really emotional and stressed me out because I wasn’t 100% sure I’d be financially able to support myself at the new job I had found. So I was sitting in this tiny conference room with a male boss who was a lot older than me and I just started bawling. He got really awkward and handed me some napkins he had in his pocket. He suggested I take some time to think things over and make sure I really wanted to quit. I think he thought I was crying because I didn’t really want to leave!

Lauren – University of Michigan: I normally don’t like to go to the bathroom at work (there’s only one toilet and it’s across the hall from my boss’s office), but I had a terrible stomach issue and just had to go. My boss caught me on my way in and talked to me so I tried to make things quick since he clearly knew I was in there. Well, I ended up having to plunge the toilet and was in there a lot longer than I expected. I thought I could sneak out (maybe he wasn’t paying attention), only when I left the bathroom (sweaty from all that plunging) he was waiting for me in the hallway to tell me I had a call. The look on his face when the smell wafted out of the bathroom is something that will haunt my dreams for eternity.

Julia – FashionPulseDaily.com: I took off of work to go to the TopShop opening in NYC — seriously, how could you miss that? Of course I called in sick, and had the fortunate/unfortunate experience of being interviewed on camera by a WWD reporter. [And] of course I Tweeted about it, pubbed the video on my site, and emailed it to people, accidentally adding in someone from work to the email list. Oops!!

Alex- University of South Carolina:  Once I caught my boss stealing bottles of vodka from the club I worked at.  Two weeks later, he was fired for being drunk on the job.  Too bad, I feel like we really could have bonded…

Kaitlyn (via Facebook): I worked at a professional regional theatre where I lived as an acting intern and performed in shows alongside seasoned professionals. During a performance of “Carousel” I was a can-can dancer in the dream ballet sequence. And it was supposed to be this dead-pan serious bit of the scene. In this number we were supposed to dance on chairs and the chair the girl behind me was standing on broke mid-way through. Of course, we all broke into giggles and tried to stifle them. Shortly after I hear the laughter increase but can’t figure out why…until I see the puddle. The girl had held her laughter in so hard that she had peed…on stage…in front of a 500 person full-house audience. Our director wasn’t amused.

Emmy – Loyola University Chicago: Today, this guy who works in the warehouse of the office that I am interning in (and has to be at least fifteen years older than me) just asked me out on a date IN FRONT OF MY BOSS. Awkward doesn’t even begin to cover it. Just not okay.

Sara C – Fordham: Earlier this week, my boss came into the ladies’ room, took the stall next to mine, and tried to start up a conversation about the weekend. There is nothing quite as awkward as making small talk with a superior while dropping the kids off at the pool.

Charlsie – Hollins University: Being asked by blogger Julia Allison, when I was her intern, to return things she received for free (she had bags and bags of stuff for me to return) in exchange for cash or gift cards was awkward. For example, Betsey Johnson sent her some underwear. I felt so awkward because these companies sent her stuff to feature on her blog or to write about — not to return the products, so she could profit in return. This began the realization that I was working for a scam artist — and the whole internship went downhill pretty fast.

Elizabeth – University of Missouri: My first month of working at a coffee shop when I was 16, I spilled an ENTIRE 16 oz 200 degrees cup of coffee on a customer’s beige khakis.

Jackelyn – San Francisco State University: Oh god. On my first day of work at a radio station, I worked a Street Team event. En route to the location, my boss realized she “forgot” something at her apartment, so we swung by “really quick – 2 minutes, tops!” Yeah, the other girl and I waited in the car for AT LEAST 1 hour. When she came back, her hair was different, her clothes changed, and her boyfriend kissing her good bye. Let’s just say we waited in the car while someone decided it would be a good time to have makeup sex. Oh, I’m not assuming this – SHE TOLD US.

Christie – NC State: My boss walked in on me asleep on the job. Not the most awkward thing in the world, but I was pretty embarrassed.

Alex – Lakehead University: Definitely when I was hit on by a local author at a bar and then had to run his meet-and-greet the next day at work. He creeps me out anyways and winks whenever I fill up his water, but now those winks take on a whole new meaning.

Kari – Florida State: I thought I heard my boss call me into his office, which I thought was strange because he was in a meeting. I walked in, and we stared at each other for a solid 45 seconds before he asked what I was doing there. Turns out, I was just hearing things. All the “grown ups” in the meeting laughed as I walked out. AWK.

Michelle – Virginia Tech (via Facebook): Have you ever gone to the bathroom and tucked your skirt in the back of your pantyhose and proceeded to walk back out onto the work floor..showing your ass? Well I have.

What’s your most embarrassing work story?

Everyone’s got a vice, a bad habit, something they know they need to change. Unfortunately, everyone also has a million excuses why they just can’t do it. Not anymore. Every month

I am quite possibly the least athletic person you will ever meet.

When I was 12, my mother asked me not to run in public. “It’s embarrassing,” she said. “There’s something about the way you run that’s just…weird.”

Once I started college, my friends quickly diagnosed my problem: I run like a dinosaur.

Here’s why: When I was 4, I started taking Irish dancing lessons. Yes, like Riverdance. And in Irish dancing, you’re not allowed to move your arms—they have to stay straight at your sides. So when it came time to run, I didn’t know what to do with my arms. With no better ideas, I just pulled them up by my armpits and “took flight.”

Add in some exercise-induced asthma and a fear of flying sports equipment and it’s clear that I was never meant to be an athlete.

I’ve been accused of being lazy, of not really trying, of not being committed enough to get in shape. But I know that’s not it. In elementary school, when the rest of the class couldn’t play on the playground until the last person was done running the mile, I remember trying so hard to finish so my classmates wouldn’t hate me (fourth graders are fickle, fickle creatures). If the anger of my peers wasn’t enough to push me to physical fitness, I don’t know what is.

A few months ago, I made a promise to myself to change all this. But just like every time before, it didn’t last. I went to one Pilates class on campus and worked out with the ROTC guys one morning, but nothing stuck. So, as a challenge to myself, I’m going to use the next four weeks to show you (and myself) that I CAN do this—that I CAN find a fitness plan that works for me, that I enjoy, and that I can stick to in the future. I know I’m not going to become a fitness guru or a triathlete overnight, and I accept that for most of the month, this is really going to suck. I’m going to be sore and crabby and exhausted and too busy to fit a workout into my schedule (and you’re going to hear all about it).

But along the way, I’ll be looking for fun ways to get fit for those of us who aren’t so athletically inclined. I’m sick of videos like this that were clearly not created with people like me in mind. And while I’m sure I’ll find plenty of awkward, clumsy moments along the way (and share them with you, of course), I’ll keep trying new things until I find something that might help us all.

(If that’s not enough motivation, check out this video. Then imagine a person running like that. Yes, I really do need help.)

Breathtaking.

Like most people, the years I spent with little metal boxes cemented to my teeth weren’t exactly my best. Not only did those years coincide with my awkward phase (no coincidence there), but my braces also hurt like crazy. And I’m pretty sure I spent 50% of my time in the bathroom picking food shrapnel out of my teeth.

The other 50% of my time was spent smiling for pictures with my lips closed and being thrown into the back of my mom’s minivan for those monthly adjustment appointments (ouch).

And I wasn’t allowed to chew gum or eat popcorn.
Yeah, it’s really not a time I want to relive.

Unless it has to do with other people.

Behold, one of my greatest Internet finds since TFLN:

When I had braces…

This website won’t help you become a better cook or organize your fashion wish lists, but it will make you laugh and that’s all you really need on a Wednesday morning, right? The premise is simple: readers submit their favorite (OK, most awkward) picture of themselves in braces along with a small anecdote about their experience with the little devils. For example, the photo above, which is pretty awesome in its own right but truly magnificent with this little ditty:  “When I had braces straightening irons weren’t yet perfected.”

The best part is, this photo isn’t even the greatest one; the site is chock full of awkward moments in braces’ past. And if you’ve ever had braces, you can definitely empathize with them…. or just use this as a chance to feel a whole lot better about your most awkward days.

This past semester however, for our third semester of Japanese (seriously, why FOUR semesters of a foreign language? excessive, no?), we both had such weird and limiting schedules that we ended up in the same class. I was prepared for the worst, since less than a year before Matt said he hated the idea of us with a class together. To my surprise, he was actually looking forward to it. We did survive, but now, for our final semester, we are back to different professors at different time. Like most relationship happenings, having class with my significant other was full of ups and downs:

Up:
The convenience factor. We only had to buy one book (which, let’s be honest, saves a giant chunk of change). We also got to ride the bus to school together and if I was home sick (thanks, flu season ’09), Matt could turn in my work for me.

Down:
Distraction. You try not talking to your boyfriend when you’re sitting next to him in class three days a week.

Up:
The study factor. No need to seek out some rando in class to help me out when I was struggling or try to coordinate a time that worked for a bunch of busy people for study group. Matt and I had each other and we were always around when help was needed.

Down:
The competition factor. Maybe it’s just us, but there was a constant need to beat one another on tests and assignments. And don’t even get me started on who could answer more questions in class.

Up:
Friendly face. It’s always nice to have a friend in class and even better when that friend happens to be a really good snuggler.

Down:
Awkward city. Do you have any idea how awkward it is to sit next to someone in class for 90 minutes when you just had a blowout fight over breakfast? And what if you break up??

So this class didn’t bring down my entire semester, but it wasn’t all a walk in the park either. In fact, the biggest lesson I learned that semester wasn’t some weird Japanese conjugation, but the fact that there is such a thing as too much togetherness. What can you really talk about with your significant other if you’re never apart? Granted, Matt and I turned out perfectly fine, but we all know plenty of couples that spend too much time together and eventually fizzle out. Or just annoy their friends with their inability to be apart.

I admit the perks to sharing a class were great (especially when finals came around), but I’m definitely ready to tackle Japanese on my own next semester. And maybe I won’t need all that study help if I don’t have someone distracting me the entire class.

Have you ever taken class with your sig other? How did that go?

Drink up, little lady. It's gonna be a long and awkward night.

Thanksgiving is a-comin’, ladies! Time for some turkey, stuffing (my absolute favorite treat on earth) and reuniting with all your old home friends. Oh, and hopefully a major shopping spree with mom. Is there any other reason to come home?

For those of you lucky ladies who are finally 21 (or those of you with a really good fake), Thanksgiving also means taking part in the biggest bar night of the year! I remember my first Wednesday-Before-Thanksgiving bar experience…at least until I blacked out due to the extreme levels of awkwardness and puked in my parents’ house.

Try explaining that one to dad when he finds you passed out next to the toilet the following morning.

Anyways, being that it is the biggest bar night of the year, there are so many things to know! And, being that I have been doing it for a little while now, I feel I am the perfect person to enlighten you on what to expect and how to deal.

What to Expect: Running into people you never liked and still don’t like.

How to Deal: I tend to hightail it to the bar, but if you don’t want to end up looking up at your dad from the tile floor the next morning, perhaps playing nice is a good idea. You know; pretend to care what they have to say, tell them how good they look and politely bow out when you (pretend to) see a friend across the room.

What to Expect: Saying the same things over (and over and over) again.

How to Deal: I recommend printing a t-shirt that includes the following information: what school you go to, what (if any) sorority you are in, and an acknowledgment to the fact that you gained/lost weight. When you realize that these are the topics discussed all freaking night long you will thank me.

What to Expect: Awkwardly running into people you haven’t called back since you have been so busy doin’ your thang at school.

How to Deal: Is avoidance an option? If so, I recommend the duck and cover. If this is not an option (because ducking under the nearest table would cause quite a scene/you opted to wear a dress) turning the blame on the other person is always best. Approach them with intention and ask them why they don’t return your calls, explain that you have been tirelessly trying to reach them and it is so crazy that you can’t seem to connect. Make them feel guilty. Works like a charm.

What to Expect: The realization that a DD is necessary.

How to Deal: Make sure you don’t have a car available to you. Blame your parents, your siblings, or a dead battery; anything so you don’t have to be the sober one in the sea of awkward interactions. Trust me when I say that it is nearly impossible to get through this night without booze.

What to Expect: The realization that there is literally no late night food…especially in the form of delivery.

How to Deal: Those suburbs just don’t cater to the hungry-after-2am crowd. Pray for some Totino’s Pizza Rolls in mom’s freezer. Or some delicious leftovers. Do not – under any circumstances – dig into the pumpkin pie reserved for the following day. It is not worth that look of disappointment on mom’s face when she has nothing to serve for dessert.

Now you know and – as G.I. Joe once said – knowing is half the battle. The other half, of course, is finding the perfect outfit.